Once Upon a Time

aka Why Brothers-in-Law Who Hate Each Other Shouldn't Tell Bedtime Stories Together.

Once upon a time, in a distant land named……Tomoeda……

You are aware that that's the name of this town, aren't you?

I am trying to tell a story here! In a distant land, also named Tomoeda, there was a lovely princess. She had bright green eyes and long brown hair–

Short hair, Li. She has short hair. Growing senile already?

Princesses have to have long hair!

Says who?

It's practically tradition! Now shut up and let me talk. The princess lived in a big castle with her family. Her father, her lovely cousin, her cousin's mother and……her brother, a pompous stuck-up jerk who was always troubling her; he was just like your uncle. But aside from her brother, she was very happy, always laughing and playing.

Until she met a certain brown-haired brat who tried to take away her precious belongings and nearly set her brother on fire. Not to mention the little crush he had on the brother's best–

You're getting ahead of the story, Kinomoto!

I thought I was just getting to the good part. You know, the villain's introduction.

I'm not the villain!

(no, you don't need to know what a crush is. Now be quiet while daddy tells you the story)

I wasn't talking about you specifically. What's the matter, feeling guilty?

Well, anyway……the princess was playing alone in the library when she found a mysterious – box. A red box with a fierce lion on its lid. Curious, she opened the box. Inside, there were fifty-two beautiful feathers. But when she touched one, a gust of wind came from the feather, and all the feathers inside the box flew away!

Oh, way to go with the creativity thing, Li. And really, feathers? That's just ridiculous.

Kinomoto, if you want to do this……

No, no. Far be it from me to give up a chance to watch you make a fool of yourself.

Now that your uncle's being quiet……but below all the cards was a silly little stuffed toy. It was supposed to have been guarding the feathers, but it had fallen asleep! The stuffed toy told the princess that she had to recover all the feathers, or they would cause so much mischief that the kingdom would be in danger. (yes, dear, the toy did look like Kero.) So the brave little princess decided that she would capture all the feathers and seal them so that nobody would get into any trouble.

Or at least, that was the plan. Didn't account for grabby foreign relations of the guy who made the feathers, did it?

The Li clan was attempting to regain its rightful propert–

Yeah, yeah, heard it all, brat. Tell me when you're taller.

KI-NO-MO-TO……!

…………

(nonono, daddy's not going to really use those ofuda, and don't tell mommy about this, okay? She should never ever know…….

……

……

Okay, how about I take you out for some chocolate chip ice-cream tomorrow, then?)

That kid has you whipped, brat. Where she got her brains from, I don't know. Not from you, that's for sure. Mind, she's one-eighth Clow, and she grew up around Eriol and Tomoyo. That should account for it.

Tell me about it. (yes, daddy'll finish the story, now shush!) Anyway, the princess was joined on her quest by the little stuffed toy and her best friend, who made her pretty magic clothes that kept her safe. It was very difficult, and there were times when she nearly lost her life, but she kept on. She collected feather after feather. But a few months later, a rival arrived, who wanted the feathers for his own.

Yeah, the villain.

WOULD YOU GET OFF THAT BLOODY VILLAIN BUSINESS?!

Ah, ah. No swearing in front of the children.

-I will kill you. So very slowly will I kill you. – (no, dear, I didn't really mean that. It's just a little game your uncle and I play.) The rival was a little boy, just the same age as she was. He was a very good little boy –

Snrk. Snrk. Snrk.

–but he was misunderstood, and angry at a lot of things. The man who'd made the feathers was the little boy's great-grandfather, and the boy's mother had told him to bring the all feathers back to his family. So the boy tried to take the princess' feathers away, but when he saw how determined she was to collect all the feathers–

And how big her brother's muscles were–

–he decided that instead of taking the feathers away from her, they would both collect feathers, and whoever got the most, would win the rest of the feathers as well. The princess agreed, and so they both began to chase the remaining feathers. At first, the boy disliked the girl for trying to take his feathers, and so he fought her all the time. But as time went by, he noticed how kind and sweet and pretty she was. The boy hadn't ever had real a friend before; he'd been too busy training to collect the feathers when the time came. Nobody even liked him, except for his cousin. But this girl was different. She didn't care that they were rivals, she still wanted them to be friends. The boy slowly realised that he cared about the princess.

Thank God, or you'd still be after Yuki.

Shut up about that, would you? Ahem……the boy and the princess. It took them a whole year to collect all the car-uh, feathers; even with the help of the princess' sister, the boy's cousin and the useless little guardian toy. (What was the brother doing? Oh, don't worry about that. He's not important to the story.)

A-HEM!

(well, not yet, anyway.) Then a mysterious woman – a seer – came to help them. She warned the princess that the feathers were guarded by an angel as well, and that the angel would come to test them both when all the feathers were sealed. She also said that the angel was someone close to the princess, but didn't say who it was.

Not surprising, since you haven't even mentioned Yuki in this story so far.

Like I said, if you want to tell the story……

No, this is fun.

The princess was puzzled; she didn't know who the angel could be. What she didn't know was that the angel had hidden himself inside her brother's best friend, whom she liked very much. Nobody knew that except the seer and the princess' brother, who was a psychic. (Yes, just like your uncle.) But when all the feathers were sealed, the angel emerged and fought them both. It was a long, hard battle. The boy went first; but he was unable to defeat the angel and he lost his feathers. Next, the angel called the princess to fight. It told her that if she failed, then everyone around her would lose their memories of the people they loved. The princess was very afraid; and she couldn't attack the angel, because he was also a person she liked very much. So she lost, and everyone forgot the people they loved.

………

NOW look what you've done, you jackass, you made her cry! (no, that's not the ending, your daddy doesn't know how to tell a story right. Don't cry, now.) Finish the story, Li, you moron!

Ah. Ah. Yes. But just before the spell took hold, the seer produced a magical bell. When she rang it, the spell was broken for just long enough. The princess seized the chance and fought back; for that moment, she'd seen a world without love, and that made her determined to win against the angel. She fought with all her heart, and finally she won. The angel realised that she was capable of taking care of and protecting all the feathers, and so it gave them all to her and became her guardian as well. See? Happy ending. Don't cry, okay?

(……yes, that's the for-real ending. Kiss daddy goodnight. I'm going to turn off the light, now.)

That's not really the ending. You didn't tell her about that little four-eyed creep.

Yeah, well, I'll let you do that one. Tomorrow night. Let's see if you're such a hot-shot story-teller after all.

Want to make a small bet about that?

A/N: loosely inspired by Eyes of Shinigami's Spinnin' A Yarn, in the Saiyuki section. Oh, if anyone actually wants the sequel, do let me know.