A/N: So. This is the product of jet lag and not being able to sleep at two o'clock in the morning. Enjoy! :D

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the nail on the welcome sign. :)

Since their last mission had been in a town neighboring Central, Ed and Al skipped taking the train and were walking to Headquarters instead. It was a beautiful summer morning and Ed grumbled about having to waste it reporting to Colonel Bastard. Al silently agreed, seeing as this was the perfect weather for searching for stray kitties, but he had to accompany his older brother to make sure Ed didn't get into too much trouble.

The brothers were trekking along the main road to Central, and they soon came upon the sign that usually informed travelers that they were entering Central, the capitol of Amestris and so on. However, today it read differently, as a sheet of paper was tacked over the original message.

Now entering Shrimptown
Home of the little people
Population: Edward Elric
The midgets welcome you!

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A MICROSCOPE WOULD NEED A MICROSCOPE TO SEE HIM?" Ed roared, tearing the sheet off the sign in his rage. To his surprise, another sheet was underneath.

You. I'm calling you short.

"WHAT? NO! WRONG ANSWER! YOU DO NOT GET THE MILLION DOLLARS! YOU GO HOME WITH NOTHING!"

"Brother…?" Al was a bit confused.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY "that's not what I said" SO I CAN PRETEND YOU DIDN'T CALL ME SHORT IN THE FIRST PLACE AND FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF!" Ed took his anger out on the sign by ripping off the second sheet. Al tapped his chin thoughtfully. So that's why his brother made up those outrageous rants! A final sheet was nailed onto the sign.

April Fool's!

Ed exploded. "APRIL FOOL'S? IT'S F*CKING SUMMER, YOU MORON! AUGH! I KNOW THE IDIOT WHO DID THIS! COLONEL BASTARD YOU PIECE OF CRAP!" With a clap, Ed transmuted the ground under him into a six-foot tall statue and then set about sticking his own piece of paper onto the innocent welcome sign. Al looked on. Wow. Brother actually created a statue taller than him, but seeing as it's—Al's thoughts were cut off as he read the message his brother had written.

"Brother—"

"Come on, Al," Ed grinned evilly. "We'll need to lay low for a while."

"We? You certainly do, Brother," Al agreed as the brothers turned around and ran away from Central as fast as they could.

"Sir." Hawkeye came in with a slightly annoyed expression on her face.

"Yes, lieutenant?" Colonel Mustang looked up from his paperwork (which was blank, and would hopefully stay that way).

"There is a—"

"Wait," Mustang interrupted, "Was Operation Shrimp successful?"

Hawkeye twitched at her superior's childishness. Really. Pulling pranks on a teenager? "It would seem so, as there's a statue of you in a miniskirt on the main road to Central—"

"WHAT?!?"

"—and a sign in front of it that says 'I'm Colonel Mustang and I look pretty in a miniskirt. Feel free to ask me out because I'm the biggest womanizer in Central!'"

"…" Shocked silence. Then—

"FULLMETAL!!!"

A/N: Okay. Random. Not crackish, but random. And really fun to write! How'd you like it? Review please!