Disclaimer: I don't own sailor moon!
Serena covered her eyes from the rising sun that seeped in through her red curtains with her blanket. She rolled over onto her side and nuzzled her head deeper into the soft feather pillow hoping to fall back into the arms of peaceful sleep but felt her dream crumble when she heard her door swing open and felt a small body climb up onto her bed and plop itself right next to her. Two small dainty hands shook her slightly as the squeaky voice of the child whined.
"Mommy, get up! Come on! You said we could go shopping today."
Serena sighed heavily and groaned. The blankets were so soft and beckoning her to wrap them around her body and drift into slumber for another hour or so but she knew her daughter all too well.
"Five more minutes Serenity. Please?"
"No." Serenity tried to put every bit of anger into her high pitched voice. "Five minutes to you is two hours. You know what happens when you sleep for another two hours Mommy? You won't be ready to go until five and by that time its already dark and then you won't want to stay out that long because you're afraid of the dark and then we'll have to come home after an hour of shopping without anything and then-"
"Alright, alright! I'm up. Jeeze." Serena sat at the edge of her bed and slipped on her slippers and robe. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and opened the curtains letting the sunlight flood in to her room. The bustling metropolis of Seattle just began to rise as the shadows of the night began to fade with the morning light. The fog layer began to recede from the ocean just beyond the Pike Place Market and the frost on the window of the many loft and apartment buildings around hers began to melt. But a hint of wind made itself present in the trees. "Looks like another chilly day." She turned back to her daughter who sat on her bed, her tiny legs twisted into a criss-cross-applesuce position and a big smile sat upon her small round face. She mirrored her father's appearance on every inch of her body; midnight black hair, sky blue eyes and sculpted features. She was so beautiful and smart. She was everything Serena had hoped for in a daughter. "Come on Munchkin, let's see what Luna cooked up for us."
Hoping to smell bacon sizzling and coffee roasting Serena and Serenity entered the kitchen only to be greeted by the smell of burning incents. Luna sat on a zafus meditating to her newest "energy of the water" CD.
"Good morning Luna!" Serenity said excitedly jolting Luna from her meditation.
"Good morning dears. The winds are happy this morning." Luna said softly.
Serenity looked at her mother with confusion and Serena shrugged not knowing almost any of the meanings of the metaphor Luna spoke. Serena walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a glass jug of orange juice and two cups from the cabinet. She poured Serenity and herself a glass and went to the pantry to find ingredients for pancakes. Ever since Serena had moved in with Luna and Artemis she had to learn how to cook food from scratch since they refuse to buy anything that was packaged or processed. She couldn't believe that it was five years ago when they had seen her three months pregnant looking for an apartment in the rain. They had been so kind and took her in, took her to doctor appointments, shopping for baby clothes, fed her and clothed her. They had been a mother and father figure to her during pregnancy and labor and they loved Serenity as if she were their own granddaughter just as they treated Serena as their own daughter.
"Mm. Smells like breakfast." Artemis walked out from the hallway stretching his arms up high. The silver haired man walked to the table and placed a kiss on top of Serenity's head as she drunk her juice. When Serena first saw Artemis she thought he was older than he actually was because of his hair. She never understood how someone's hair could be natural silver, almost gray, and Luna's hair was so dark it was almost a deep purple. It seemed so strange to her but then again so many things about them were strange.
"Good morning Artemis!" Serenity put down her cup and jumped into Artemis' arms hugging him tightly. "Mommy's taking me shopping today."
"Oh, really? What for?" He asked gently putting her back in her chair.
"Because I bet her that she couldn't last five minutes in the dark without a nightlight and she didn't." Serenity said prideful.
"How long did she last?" He asked with a throaty laugh.
"One minute and thirty-two seconds."
This time it was Luna's turn to laugh as she ended her morning meditation and walked over to the table. "Oh sweety, your mother could never last ten minutes in the dark if her life depended on it. If you bet your mother that all the time you'll go shopping every day."
"Ha. Ha. Vary funny." Serena placed the last pancake on the platter and turned off the flame of the burner. She sat Serenity's plate down on the table and was about to sit down herself when the phone rang. "I'll get it." She walked into the living where the phone was and picked up the receiver. "Hello?" At first there was no sound on the other end but then she heard a familiar voice that made her heart skip a beat.
"Serena? You finally answered." The young woman's voice weaved between excitement and relief. "It's me, Ami."
There was a moment of silence as Serena tried to grasp what was taking place. She hadn't spoken to Ami for over four and a half years and when she had it was a brief call explaining that Serena was in labor. After Serenity was born she had given up her nightly call with Ami and the two page letters asking about the health of her family and illustrations of her adventures in the North West. Ami had still proceeded to call but had given up after Artemis picked up the receiver every time telling her that Serena didn't want to talk. "H-hi Ami. How are you?"
"Don't Serena. Why did you stop accepting my calls? It's been almost five years since we last spoke. You never even sent me a picture of the baby." Ami's stern voice frightened Serena somewhat.
"It's hard to explain Ames." For a brief moment both of the girls laughed at the usage of Ami's old nickname from high school but after their giggles subsided it became unbearably quiet and Serena felt the sudden need to say something. "I'm sorry I never called after Serenity was born. It was just something I was dealing with at the time." She knew that it would bring no rightful reason for her negligence to Ami but it was all she could explain to her for now.
"I really miss you Serena. Your dad does too. But, look, that's not why I'm calling. I just wanted to tell you that Zachary proposed!."
"Wait, what? When did he propose? Where? When did this happen?" Serena suddenly felt guilty for not calling her best friend these past years. She had missed so much all because her stupid faults had driven her to leave her home and loved ones behind. Ami had probably tried to call her the night her high school sweetheart proposed but she was too selfish to pick up the phone. It's time to get over it, she thought to herself, I have to deal with what happened in the past and move on. I can't keep running away from my problem. "You know what, never mind that. I'm coming home Ami. It's time I start facing my ghosts and start living. I haven't spoken to my father since the night I left. Or Darien for the matter of fact."
"You mean you never told Darien why you left?"
"No. Not the real reason. Does he still live in Astoria?"
"No. He moved to New York about three years ago."
"New York?" Her reasons for leaving felt more clear when Ami explained to her that he left to New York on a business scholarship. When she was dating Darien all he would talk about was his future and goals in life but when Serena found out she was pregnant she saw Darien's dreams slipping away. It would be because of her that his life would take a down spiral and she knew that in the end of it all he would hate her for it. He had a future waiting for him and she had left with a deep secret so that he would live his dream and now she could see that it was the right choice.
"You should tell him Serena. He has a right to know that he has a five year old daughter." Ami chided.
"No. He...He's just getting his life started and for me to come into it right now wouldn't be fair. I'll tell him when the time is right." But she knew that it would possibly never be right. "I'll see you in a few days Ami."
"You're really coming? Serena, are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I know it was hard for you when your mother died and for you to come back here would bring back all of those memories and emotions. I know how much your mother meant to you."
"I have to face it Ami. I've been hiding from everything all these years and I can't keep running away from it. This is something I have to do for myself."
"Okay. Well, you're always welcome in my house if you need a place to stay."
"Thanks Ami. I'll see you in a couple days. Bye."
...
Serena drove past the green wooden sign that marked the boarder of her home in her Landrover and down the coast line to the street that turned onto the hill where she lived during her adolescence. The drive was only three hours from Seattle and Serenity had fallen asleep an hour into the drive. It was hard to explain to Artemis and Luna why she was going back to her home town on such short notice and all though they insisted that she stay they let her depart without many questions. Serenity on the other hand was overwhelmed with joy over the fact that she was going to meet her real family. But as she drove past her old high school she began to regret her decision. It was there that she met Darien for the first time when he transferred into Astoria High School and thus began a romance that would lead to her precious Serenity. He was so different from all the other boys that lived there; dark, handsome, mysterious, and a gentleman. She remembered the time when they had went to the beach at night to look at the stars and she had fallen in the freezing water. He had given her his shirt and coat off his own back to keep her warm and dry while he stood half naked in the cold wind. Thinking about it made her heart hurt and eyes water.
She drove up to the blue two story house that was her friends and put the car in park. She didn't know if she was quite ready yet to face everyone and all the changes that took place while she was gone. Her palms became sweaty over the steering wheel and she had butterflies in her stomach. Seeing Ami would bring back all the memories of the times that Serena's mother had taken them to the mall and movies. Everything in Astoria reminded her of her mother and she didn't know if she was ready to deal with all of that.
Just as she was about to put the car in reverse and return back to Seattle Ami Madison, so to be Ami Griffin, stepped onto the corner porch of her house and waved her hand high in the air. She was so different from the last time Serena had seen her; her hair was collar bone length, her trademark glasses were replaced with contacts and her skin was slightly bronzed.
Serena opened her car door and embraced her friend as Ami made her way to the driveway.
"Oh my god! I can't believe you're actually here." Ami said into Serena's shoulder.
Serena felt tears slide down her cheeks as she relished the feel of her friend pull her into a tight hug. After they let go of other Serena opened the back door and unbuckled Serenity from her booster seat. Serenity wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, her black hair draping over Serena's shoulder like a blanket.
"My god Serena, she's like a clone of Darien." Ami stood in shock as she looked at the small child in her friend's arms. There was no doubt in the world that she was Darien's daughter.
"I know. Wait until she wakes up. You won't believe how smart she is. Oh, by the way, do you have any organic food?"
"No. Why?" Ami asked pulling the luggage out of the trunk.
"That's the only thing we eat now. I'll have to go to the market in a while."
They walked into the house and Serena was greeted by the smell of cinnamon spiced pinecones and backed sweets. It looked the same since when she last stepped into the house to tell Ami goodbye; hardwood floors, cherry oak furniture, white leather sofas and blue pillows. She felt tears welt up in her eyes as the memories of sleepovers, playing during summer nights and parties she spent at that house flooded back. She laid Serenity down on the bed in the guest room and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Have you seen my dad around?" Serena asked as Ami sat the luggage down by the bed.
"I had seen him last week at the farmers market. He's been pretty lonely ever since Sammy left to college. You should go see him Serena. He'd be really happy-"
"No. Not yet. I'm not ready to go back there. Seeing him looking at me like I'd disappointed him, I don't think I can deal with it just yet." She could imagine her father's hazel eyes looking down at her as if she were a puppy who soiled the carpet.
"Who's says he'd be disappointed in you Serena? He loves you no matter what." Ami tried to convince her.
"Yeah, but, you know him Ami. When I entered high school we planned my future down to the very print of wallpaper I would have in my apartment I would have next to the college I was supposed to go to. I took the money out of the trust fund so i could leave Astoria. I just don't think he would be very happy to see me and where my life went." Serena looked at her daughter who was presently dreaming of god knows what a child dreams of and brushed the strands of black hair out of her face. Serenity was her life now and she was the only thing that mattered to her.
Ami squeezed Serena's hand gently. "I won't push you to see him but I know that he could never be disappointed in you. You and Sammy were his life after your mom died and I know that he would be proad of you no matter what."
Serena smiled at the edge of her lips and laid her head on Ami's shoulder." I missed you so much Ames. So, tell me how Zachary proposed."
...
The local market had change dramatically since she left Astoria. It used to be a small farmers market but was now once of those commercial superstores. She pushed the metal shopping cart down the vast aisles of packaged goods and boxed cookies. She had lost her appetite for the processed junk ever since Artemis and Luna had introduced her to organic and natural food.
"Look for the organic section sweety." She told Serenity who was clinging on to her coat.
She turned the corner out of the beverage aisle and pass the refrigerated section hoping to find a directory somewhere. She had been so preoccupied with finding the organic section she hadn't noticed Serenity slip into chip aisle where the man of her past stood holding a bag of potato crisps.
Serenity had seen the man before in a picture her mother kept in her sock drawer. He was a tall and handsome man with a gently posture and a full head of hair, dark just like hers. He was wearing tan slacks and a white button up shirt but she could see that he was wearing converse instead of dress shoes. She approached the man slowly as she tried to make out the kind of personality he might have.
"Do you know my mommy?" She blurted out.
The man looked down at the young girl who wore a small black coat and purple beanie. At first he was taken aback by how much she looked like someone he knew although he couldn't remember who at the moment but then his eyes went to her hair. It was long and flowing like black liquid.
"I'm sorry?" He said after realizing she had asked him a question.
"I said do you know my mommy?" Serenity stated once more.
"Well that depends. Who's your mother?"
"Serena Taylor." Serenity could see the man's body stiffen and he suddenly went pale as if she had said something sadistic. "Are you okay?"
"Is your mother here with you?" He asked after color returned to his face.
"Yes. But I don't know-"
"Serenity! There you are." Serena ran down the aisle and straight to her daughter. She got down to Serenity's level and grabbed her shoulders. "Don't ever do that to me again. You had me worried sick." After her daughter reassured her that she was fine she stood back on her feet and faced the man that her daughter was taking to. "I'm sorry if she-" Her breath caught in her throat as she realized who the man that stood before her was. She could never forget his face. "D-Darien?"
Darien Shields stood just as bewildered as Serena as they stood in the isle looking at each other. He hadn't seen her since that hot July night when she left Astoria leaving him with only a note explaining that she couldn't deal with the loss of her mother any longer and how everyone and everything reminded her of her. She looked the same since high school except her hair twisted into a messy bun and she wasn't wearing make-up. He could remember a day in high school when she would venture outside without make up. Her eyes were still that bright beautiful cerulean that he loved and her lips were a soft hue of pink. He remembered kissing those lips many times when they were together and he'd do anything to kiss them again. What was he saying? That was all in the past. He was over her. Wasn't he?
"H-hi. You're back in town?" He asked trying to hide the anxiousness in his voice.
"Just for a few months. I'm helping Ami plan her wedding."
"Oh. That's nice for Ami." Not really caring for the fact of Ami's relationship but more concerned about who else had shared a bed with Serena. But as he could see he hadn't been the only one. "She's yours?"
"Yes." Serena squeezed her daughters shoulder's gently. "This is Serenity. Serenity this is Darien Shields, a very good friend of mine."
Serenity held out her hand and smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you Darien."
Darien looked at Serena surprised and took Serenity's small hand in his.
"Well thank you. It's very nice to meet you Serenity." Darien felt a small pain in his heart as he realized how old the small girl. It hadn't taken Serena long to move on with her life after she left. "You named her after your mother?" he asked trying to distract his mind from the painful thought. But he had to know who this person was that now took his place in her life
"I had to." Serena smiled lovingly at her daughter. She knew that her mother would be so proud of the young girl she raised. "I heard that you moved to New York. Are you going to be back in town for a while?"
"Just for three or four month. I came down to visit my parents." He had to asked the question that was itching at the back at his mind. "Is, uh, her dad here? With you?"
"Um." Serena wasn't quite sure if she was ready to tell Darien the truth. That he fathered Serenity, that the really reason why she left was because she was pregnant with his child. But perhaps Ami was right; he did have the right to know that this young girl beneath her hands smiling up at him was his child. Perhaps this was as good a time as ever to tell him. "Yes. He's-"
"There you are."
A tall, seductive woman with sultry red curls and cats-like green eyes approached them, her heels clicking with every step she made. Serena was slightly disgusted by the amount of cleavage her low cut black dress reviled and she didn't understand for the life of her why she would wear something that exposed so much skin in the cold October wind. "They don't have any Evian here." Serena could hear a slight accent as she spoke but she couldn't quite make out what it was.
"Oh, um, Serena this is Beryl Sampson. Beryl this is Serena Taylor." Darien introduced the two women to each other but Beryl seemed reluctant to acknowledge Serena's presence.
"You two are dating?" Serena asked dreading the answer.
"Darebear, you didn't tell her?" Beryl asked looking at Darien as if he had committed some sort of crime. She didn't wait for a reply from Dairen before she stuck out her left hand and there Serena saw a silver diamond engagement ring on Beryl's freshly manicured finger. "I'm his fiancé."
Serena felt her heart sink to her stomach as she heard the words linger in the air around her. Her mind block out whatever Beryl was saying and she tried to focus on something other than that fat diamond ring on her skinny finger. Darien was going to marry someone other than her. It made sense she guessed. Darien wasn't he's anymore, he hadn't been hers for a long time. She had to let go of him if were to move on with her life. But she didn't know if she could. She had to get out of there and get back to Ami's.
"I'm sorry but we really have to go. I have frozen food in the cart and Ami's waiting for me. I'll see you around." She grabbed Serenity's hand and they walked down the aisle and out of the supermarket. She buckled Serenity in her seat and hoped into the driver's seat but her hands trembled so much she couldn't put the key in the ignition. She could feel tears stream down her cheeks but no matter how hard she wiped her eyes or tried to she couldn't stop them. Her heart begged for her to cry so she did. Her tears soaked her gloved hands as she held them over her eyes. She knew that coming back would be difficult and heartbreaking but it was a choice she made and she had to stick to it.
"Mommy, why are you crying?" Serenity had somehow unbuckled herself from her seat and moved next to her without Serena noticing.
"That man meant a lot to me, sweety. That's all."
"Are you sad because he's with that lady?"
"Yes. Very much." Serena sighed heavily and laid her head on the head rest. Darien had his own life now with that woman in New York. That's how it was and going to be from now on. She left so Darien could have that kind of life so what was she getting so upset about? This was the path she chose when she left. She carved it herself. It was up to her to lead that road where she wanted it to go. These next few months were going to be hell but it's what she has to do. Darien was going to be around while she was there so she'll just have to get used to seeing him with another woman. Eventually she would get used to it. Wouldn't she? "I love him but," She faced Serenity "Not as much as I love you."
"Good." Serenity smiled and climbed into her mother's arms to give her a hug. Perhaps she would tell Darien that Serenity was his when he was old, retired and divorced from that vixen. One day she will. One day.