School Daze

Anna and Kristoff were enjoying dinner in the castle together about a month after the Great Thaw, when the subject of schooling came up.

"What kind of education did you have growing up with.. you know, your family?" asked Anna circumspectly, mindful of the curious eyes and ears of the servants around them.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Elsa and I learned reading, writing, math, history, languages, diplomacy, politics, deportment, and dance. You know, princess stuff. What did you learn?"

"Reading, writing, math, history, languages, diplomacy, edible plants, hunting, and mountain climbing." Kristoff smirked. "You know, survival stuff."

"Really? Languages and diplomacy?"

"How else could I negotiate safe passage through a dryad's wood or across a naiad's river?"

Anna looked dubious. After the.. incident, her education about the magical side of the world had been sorely neglected. "Ooookay, I guess that would require languages and diplomacy. What about the history?"

"Well that really was mostly stories told by Grandpabbie."

"As isolated as.. you know, your family is, I'm surprised he knows European history."

"Oh, not that stuff," Kristoff waved European history away as mere ephemera. "Real history. Grandpabbie is as old as the hills. And he's a close personal friend to a lot of 'em. He would tell us their stories."

Anna gulped. "How about the reading and writing?" she asked, a trifle weakly.

"Show me a wall or cliff face of runes and I can read 'em," said Kristoff confidently. "Dictate to me and I can carve the words in stone. You do have to talk pretty slow though." He chuckled, "And I did accidentally carve my name in one of my brothers once."

"Futhark!" she thought,"He can't read or write the Roman alphabet!" Anna gulped again. "And.. and the math? Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division?"

"Sure, I learned arithmetic. Two plus two is four. Twelve minus five is five. Three times three is eleven. Twenty divided by four is four."

"Wait. What?" asked Anna in shock. "Oh Gods," she thought, "he's.. he's.. innumerate! Elsa will never accept someone who can't even do arithmetic."

"What's two times three?"

"Six."

Whew. "Two times four?"

"Ten."

Crap. "Put up your hands." She put her hands in front of her, chest high, fingers up.

Kristoff put his hands up, following her example.

"As I point to your fingers, count 'em up." Anna started pointing.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ten, eleven, twelve."

"But.. but.. what about eight and nine?" asked Anna in a panic.

"What are eight and nine?" asked Kristoff innocently.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no," wailed Anna. "If Elsa's ever going to accept you I'm going to have to teach you sooo much."

Kristoff laughed, "Relax, Feistypants, I'm pulling your leg. Of course I can read and write regular script. The number thing did give me some problems until I realized that.. my family's hands are, well, different. They can only count up to eight on their hands. I had to learn the Roman alphabet and decimal arithmetic when I started selling ice. And I even picked up a smattering of European history along the way."

"You were teasing me the whole time?" asked Anna, outraged.

"Well, you were going on and on about your princessy education. Out where.. you know, my family lives, a lot of what you were taught would be pretty useless. 'Well educated' depends on where you live."

"I guess," said Anna. She smirked. "But you're on my turf now, so soon it'll be back to school for you."

A/N - Thank you to Morgaine2005, who encouraged me to write this scene.

If you enjoyed this story, you might enjoy my other story, Magic Makes Fools.