This is pretty much a one shot thing. Let me know what you think, please. Constructive criticism is very welcome. I'll do "Wonder" if you like this. And in later chapters, that isn't what I think of Jen or anything, but Alex had to have some reaction to finding out she wasn't in love with him anymore (though I think she at least cared enough about him to not go on pretending to still love him). Oh, and yes, I do realize that there are fragments, but I do that all the time in my diary because it's less formal than speech even. Just be glad it's easy to follow and not a lot of abbreviations to figure out. Hope you like it!
Rated PG for Angst and name calling in later entries.
Disclaimer:
I do not own it. Otherwise, I'd be busy writing the shows script.Betrayal
February 14, 3000
It's all happening so fast. The Force let me back on duty tracking the Ranger's progress. It was only a month ago that I was killed and revived. The Ranger's – especially Jennifer, my fiancée – are doing great as a team. It's creepy watching my doppelganger fight with the team. Jen is still somewhat hostile towards him, as she should be. I guess seeing that picture in that book back when I was ten was sort of de ja vu.
I miss having Jen here, fighting by my side faithfully. I even miss her fussing over minor injuries that I receive on the job – not that there has been much of a chance for that to happen lately. I knew she meant a lot to me; thus, I proposed, but I did not realize exactly how much until now. All right! I admit it! I miss everything about her – the scent of her perfume, her cheerful, joyous face, her laugh, just everything! She kept me sane and my spirits lifted throughout the search for Ransik.
Ransik – my enemy. If it weren't for his little daughter, and his little robot pal, Frax, Jen and I would be planning our wedding now. Here I am, because of him, alone once more. Sure, there's Jesse and some other officers who help me, but Jen was more supportive. She would have babied me, and I would have fussed, pretending I don't like the special treatment to get her to fuss over me more. She's so cute when she's like that. Hey! Doesn't Frax sound like Ferriks a little? Could it be? No way. He wouldn't have the guts or heart to turn evil. Besides, he was killed.
It's killing me not to contact Jen and let her know I'm alive, but Logan won't let me. I'll have to check the databanks to see when she'll get home to me tomorrow and start a countdown until the precious moment. I'll take her in my arms, congratulate her on a job well done, and take her out to celebrate. It'll be just perfect.
We're designing a new megazord – the Time Shadow Megazord – to assist them. I hope it will be done soon. The Rangers are struggling with their current one. Wouldn't it be great if I could surprise them and go back with it when it's done?
I've got to stop thinking about Jen. Everything I'm doing so far is seeming to be for her safety and protection – not the others. They are my friends, after all, and I should protect them too.
Dorm rules – lights out now.
Lieutenant Commander Alexander K. Collins.
February 15, 3000
No! They're all going to die in the battle! Jennifer Anne Scotts shall never be my wife. I have to do something about it! Even if it means breaking the rules. I was watching Jen practice against a tree today. She's gained a lot of strength since she's become leader. She stopped and grabbed hold of her engagement ring and would have broke down crying, had that guy – Wesley, I think – not come out. She beat him at a sparring match. Go, Jen! I think he's out of luck at getting on her good side, as he's a painful reminder of me. I hope I don't have to eat my own words. I won't. Jen wouldn't move on in the last year of her life. Excuse me while I throw up. Phew! Glad that's over with. I hate myself for writing that. Too bad this is a pen… I will save her and the others.
The time line is beginning to be altered. Wars that shouldn't have happened have happened. Time Force has shrunk as some of the other's relatives were killed in battle, resulting in them not being born. Help! Hide me! Please, don't be me next! New people are even appearing. None of the major people have been affected yet; they still remember the original time line. Hurry up, Rangers. I must get back there and help. *Groans in frustration* Logan said I can't go back until the Time Shadow has been finished, which won't be for another few months – earliest is May. Let me go sulk in the darkness for a while.
Lieut. Com. A.K. Collins
March 25, 3000
I am officially eating my own words. How could you Jennifer? Falling in love with another man? Or so it seems! I saw you and Wesley nearly kiss at the counter! Thank goodness the phone rang! You're going to break regulations if you get into an involved relationship, stupid! You, my innocent, dependent, faithful, trusting loving, and obedient dog, are gone! Replaced with a woman I don't even know! I despise you! The simple utterance of your name sends hurtful chills up my injured spine.
Jennifer, why? I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it! I was just angry, furious, and scared. What did I do to deserve this fate? To know you will die and watch you fall in love (or perhaps lust only?) with another man. I still love you. I haven't forgotten you or betrayed you while you're gone. I haven't even betrayed your privacy while watching your progress! Any other man would have! I love you, Jennifer Anne Scotts! Please come back to me! I need you! I love you!
Before I turn mental, I should better stop writing.
A depressed Lieut. Com., A.K. Collins
May 15, 3000
The final tests are being run on the Time Shadow this morning. I shall leave in an hour. I shall see my beloved fiancée, and welcome her back to my arms!
I haven't written in a long time because of my depression. This bit of news brought me out of it. Thank you, Captain Logan! I love you, sir! (but not like that)
I need to go prepare. Collins, signing out.
May 17, 3000
She asked me to leave. She has lost all respect for me. She never said it, but I could sense it. The others hated me. My look-alike detested me. So much for liking my great, great, great – however many "greats" – grandfather. I can't believe I'm jealous of my own grandfather! I never thought it possible.
He likes her. I could see it in his eyes. The lust was evident in them. I dare you! Steal my girl and see what I do! She's my fiancée! I watched her when I got back. She does care for him, too. How could this have happened? All I ever did was for you. Please, come back to me, Jen.
I should be glad they at least have the Time Shadow, and somehow a quantum ranger – I skipped a few days – but I'm not. The history banks are still showing barely any changes from the new time line. Some of the wars weren't fought, some old people reappeared; some new ones disappeared, but nothing major. The Rangers still will die. I hope that they can do something on their end to change that.
Forget this journal. I'm not going to write until something major happens.
A.K. Collins
July 17, 3000
I convinced Wes to send them back today. When they arrived, I eagerly sent them over to memory adaptation as required, anxious to have Jen forget about Wes so we could get on with our life together. They all stepped inside the containers, but Jen broke the seal, marched out, handed me the ring, and headed back with the others! Did I really treat her that badly? Obviously not, since she said yes to my proposal. Will that be the last I will ever see of Jen? I hope not, I hope not.
A lonely Lieut. Com., Alexander K. Collins
July 20, 3000
They made it! They're alive, safe and sound, and on their way home! The only thing is, I won't be able to embrace her or take her out to dinner. I can congratulate her, but nothing like I wanted to. I pulled a few strings for her and the others so they don't have to undergo memory adaptation, seeing they want to remember Wesley.
The time line has been restored as close to the original as possible. For that, I am thankful.
Now, she's soon to be home where she belongs. Let's see how long it'll take before she's back in my arms.
Alex K. Collins