The crack of a whip. The smell of grime and decay. The sound of rats running along pipes. The feel of rawness from shackles on wrists and ankles. All of these things caused Valjean to twist and turn in his bed. There were no tangible forms though. Just frightening sensations occurring in the dark. The freed man heard Javert's warnings, felt the lashes on his back, and the permanent hunger in his stomach. These dreams had haunted him nearly every night since his escape from the life of Valjean. They became worse upon his unification with his precious Cosette. Now, they all ended with Cosette calling for him with terror in her voice. When he heard her youthful, broken cry, he would awake in a panic, creep to her door to check and see if he had woken her, and usually find her having a nightmare from her own troubled past. He would pull her into his lap and rock her back and forth until her breaths slowed. Her sweet head on his shoulder was the only thing that brought relief to his nights.
However, one night in early March was different. Valjean suffered through his usual nightmare, as if he were still paying dues to nineteen years of torture, but he did more than hear Cosette's voice that night. He felt her hand in his and her pleading for something he could not make out. Finally, he understood her. She was telling him to open his eyes.
"Papa! Wake up! It's alright. Wake up!" she begged. Valjean snapped awake and sat bolt upright in bed. To his surprise, Cosette sat next to him in his bed, with her legs crossed, clutching her doll. Bewildered, Valjean looked around the room, realizing it was all a nightmare.
Before he could ask his daughter what she was doing, she cooed, "It's alright Papa. I have them too."
Valjean's heart melted through his original shock at seeing her and breathed, "Oh Cosette. My child." He placed his hand on her cheek and kissed the other. When he realized what had occurred, he feared she'd be frightened, but she looked at him with nothing other than compassion.
Realizing that her father did not know what to say, Cosette began to explain herself. "I was up getting a drink of water, and I heard you talking. I thought you were calling me, so I came in here and saw you were having a nightmare. I hope you're not cross with me, Papa."
"I could never be cross at such compassion, my darling," Valjean said as he sat up from his elbow and pulled her into his lap. Hot tears began to fill his eyes and he placed a kiss on the top of Cosette's head while stroking her hair. "I appreciate your concern for me, but children should not have to worry about their papas. I am sorry you had to see me having a nightmare. I do not know what came over me in my sleep tonight." He did not dare tell her about the contents of his nightmare.
"Oh Papa, it's quite alright! You did not frighten me. I know how it feels to have nightmares," Valjean shuddered at the thought of her experiencing the same torment he felt. "Do you have them often?"
Valjean felt a lump in his throat at the question. A truthful answer would lead to more questions. Ones that he never intended to be asked or to answer. He decided to lie for the sake of his child's peace-of-mind (he could see that she was genuinely concerned). "No, pet, I do not. I'm not sure what happened tonight. However, I am sure that it shan't happen again."
Cosette sighed, almost sounding relieved. "When I have nightmares, there are no shapes or colors, all I see is black. I hear Madame's voice and feel the broom handle on my back and the cold stones on my feet. I never see anything." He felt her begin to shake slightly but found no words. He was not only shocked by the similarities of their nightmares, but the fact that Cosette was opening up to him about her night terrors. She always just identified them as nightmares but nothing more.
"I always feel better when I wake up in your lap." She smiled up at him and Valjean realized that she had been holding his hand ever since she crawled into his bed. His tears finally reached his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away and peppered Cosette's face with kisses. He was overwhelmed by the angel in his arms. His loving thoughts were interrupted when Cosette asked, "What would make you feel better, Papa?"
Valjean felt a pang of guilt that she felt this responsibility on her shoulders, but he did not want her to feel as if she were not helping, when he knew how badly she wanted to. He smiled and said, "You know, Cosette, there is a little angel that sleeps in the room across from mine. I always feel much better when she smiles for me. Do you know where she might be?"
"Why yes I do, Papa! She's right here in your lap," Cosette kissed him on the cheek, produced one of the smiles he requested, and let out a quiet, childish giggle.
"Thank heavens! There you are my little angel," Valjean gasped dramatically and squeezed her tighter.
They both laughed and Cosette asked, "Would you like for me to stay in here with you tonight, Papa?"
"Nothing would please me more, my angel." She released his hand, crawled from his lap, and climbed under the covers. Valjean did the same and pulled her close to him. He kissed the side of her face once more and whispered, "I do not know what I would do without my little angel. Good night, sweetness."
"Good night, Papa. I love you," she murmured, already half asleep. Valjean's heart leaped; that was the first time she had said those words to him.
"I love you, too. More than you will ever know," he whispered into her hair. Within minutes she was asleep.
Valjean lay awake, a thousand thoughts scampering through his mind. When he took her in a few months ago, she never shared anything with him. When she would wake up perspiring from a nightmare, she would simply wipe her eyes and insist that she was fine. After a few weeks she would allow her papa to pull her into his lap and soothe her back to sleep. Although, she never dared share the details of her night terrors, and Valjean never asked.
The new father was also aghast at how similar Cosette was to him. They had both led troubled lives as unwanted and outcast, but found peace in each other's arms.
Most of all, he was surprised at how calm Cosette was. As sweet and caring as she had been in the short time he had known her, she had always been a nervous child. She did not like strangers and was very uncomfortable with Valjean during their first few weeks together. However, she held her papa's hand and comforted him with ease. Valjean chuckled lightly at how she mimicked his methods of comfort. She had always been reserved, but somehow, seeing that herself and her papa were two similar creatures, she forgot her insecurities.
Unknown by Valjean, this night was just the beginning. Cosette no longer held back her emotions from him after this late Winter night. She would no longer hold back her tears when she had nightmares, and she never accidentally called him monsieur instead of Papa again. This was also the end of Valjean's nightmares.
As he lay with her head tucked under his chin, he listened to her breathing. That was all that mattered in this world. Of course, he still feared discovery of his identity, but he no longer feared closing his eyes again. Knowing that his heart lay in a bed across the hall, he slept peacefully. Waking to a child that returned his love allowed peaceful dreams and well-deserved rest to Valjean. His little angel brought him comfort and joy that he did not know existed in this lifetime.