Everything was in bits and pieces. The cold, the dark and the rain. A flash of orange light with a pumpkin smile. Then, somehow, flying. She could feel the rain pelting her face. Strong arms had been holding her, keeping her safe. James? No. The smells and sounds of this man where different. His voice had whispered to her. "Almost there, Lily." The words were broken up into pieces, trembling. Was he frightened? Who… She couldn't remember beyond that. When she tried to touch the fuzzy spot in her memory, she could only flinch away from it. Broken and full of pain. A deep, deep loss.
Sunlight was what finally woke her up. Lily sat up in a warm bed. Everything seemed so white and crisp. It contrasted with the dark thoughts in her mind. She looked around at an empty room. There were only beds, separated by long curtains. As she looked harder, her mind unlocked the memory of this place. The hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey. Hogwarts. The thought of being back in Hogwarts soothed her. Her body relaxed back on to the pillows. She almost closed her eyes again, when she heard soft footsteps. The gentle smell of poppies wafted around her, and she felt a soft hand on her forehead.
"Ah, your fever is gone at last. You dear, dear girl." The voice brought memories of her late gram...she tried to focus...but it seemed a million miles away. Her green eyes opened again. The old nurse, Madame Pomfrey was standing over her. She was smiling sadly.
"I have some tea for you, dear one. Drink up." She whispered.
Lily nodded and sat up straighter. When her fingers curled around the warm cup, the darkness in her mind faded. Her lips touched the liquid, and the aroma of cinnamon and cloves soothed her. As soon as it slid down her throat, she grew weary again. Her head sank into the pillows and she could vaguely feel the tea cup leaving her hand. The last sound she heard before she drifted into sleep was a deep voice. It lead her into the dream again. The one she had been trying so hard to forget.
"She's still not well, Severus." Madame Pomfrey insisted.
"Her fever is gone, but I daresay, if you are the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes, it may all come back to her in a hurry."
Severus nodded sadly. He knew this, but somehow he could not stop himself from making his way up to the medical wing every day. He was glad to see the pink flush of her cheeks was more natural this time. She looked peaceful for once. But as he stood there longer, her expression changed. Her eyebrows jumped together, and her mouth twisted. She started to thrash around, and her voice was a strangled whisper.
"No...no… James...not my...baby...Harry...please no…"
Severus took a step backward at the names. Pomfrey was indignant.
"Here now! See what you've done? I've just got her calm for the first time, and you've spoiled it. Away to your dungeons, Severus!"
His face, usually so calm, was riddled with pain. He had saved her...but to what end? He looked at her for a moment longer before Madame Pomfrey started waving a large bottle at him.
"Out, I say!"
He swallowed hard and bowed his head. Then he whisked away from the room. Lily's face relaxed and Pomfrey was at her side, wiping away the fresh tears before they could dampen her pillows.