The Count who Would be King
Chapter 1
"Listen to me," said Olaf in a tempting voice, "I can tell you everything you want to know, about your parents, about the V.F.D., everything. Just let me out of this cage."
"Let's go to the other side of the raft where we can't hear him," suggested Violet.
"I'll give you a small sample even before you let me out," wheedled Olaf. "You want to know about the schism? You think that was about the V.F.D. dividing into a noble side and a bad side, don't you?"
"Basically," said Klaus. "I'm sure it wasn't quite that simple, but..."
"It was an argument about what means we should use to change the world. My side favored direct action, fighting fire with fire. The other side wanted to keep things quiet. They favored covert operations, like assassination by poison to get rid of troublemakers," Olaf said darkly.
"No!" cried Sunny. Her two siblings shuddered.
"Think about it... Who supplied your parents with poison darts to kill my parents? Who developed the Medusoid Mycellium in the first place? It was your so-called noble side of the V.F.D."
The Baudelaires felt demoralized, a word which here means that their moral compasses were spinning wildly.
"There's nothing to chose between the two sides of the V.F.D.," said Violet bitterly.
Klaus said, "Maybe we should let him out... The islanders have abandoned us out here to die when the waters rise. Ishmael doesn't care what happens us. The V.F.D. kept us in the dark and sent us on a doomed mission in the hotel. I hate to admit it, but maybe we really need his help."
"That's right," said Olaf, "There's always a need for someone like me. For you, that time is now."
"Don't," said Sunny. "Frying pan to fire." Though Sunny's cooking skills gave her intimate knowledge of frying pans, she was not referring to skillets in this case, but using a phrase which here means, "We'll be going from a bad situation to a worse one," and she was entirely right.
"I know what you mean, Sunny," said Violet. "But things could hardly get any worse. I agree with Klaus." She unlocked the enormous birdcage.
Olaf sprang from the cage and pulled a spherical object from under his flame-colored dress, an object with which he had tried to create the impression of pregnancy. The Baudelaires realized with horror that it was the diving helmet containing Medusoid Mycellium spores.
"I was caught off guard before I could get my weapon out," said Olaf. "It won't happen again. Now you'll do as I say, or else."
"What do you want?" asked Sunny in despair.
"I want to be King of Olaf-Land, of course," said Count Olaf. "And you're going to help me."