Hi there! Hope you're hungry for some embarrasment! Becaudr poor Freed will never be the same again.I hope those who enjoyed the absolute ridiculous nature of Screw Metaphors! Will enjoy this craziness.Warning you now, this will update slowly. So don't get aggro- I just couldn't help posting it anymore as its been sitting on my Googledocs forever.Song Links!

* https/youtu.be/RYr96YYEaZY

* https/youtu.be/upURGMVGXWA.

* https/youtu.be/hsbQd2_xnWM

Enjoy!

Today was the worst.

Without fail, something had gone wrong throughout Freed's errands; from the moon-faced bank teller shorting his change to the rip he'd found in his favorite snowy cravat at the cleaners, it had all been a disaster. By the end of his morning, the man's frustration had tugged several vibrant green strands from his usually proper crown, leaving an unfortunate disheveled appearance. He'd tried to readjust his ponytail in order to catch the strays, but it had been no use. Today was too much.

At the end of his patience and daylight, the weary accountant entered the nearest cafe to medicate his sore disposition and escape the cold. The barista had prepared his tea swiftly, his pink hair bobbing with the upbeat reggae tunes bumping over the intercom. Setting the paper cup down in front of his customer, the man ignored Freed's reiterated request for a ceramic mug and pushed his way into the back room.

'Ass.' He thought, resentfully sleeving the scalding beverage and heading to a corner nook table in the deserted coffee house. 'At least TRY to pretend like you aren't here for a paycheck…'

Sitting back into the mahogany-painted booth, he reveled in the half wall's privacy. Freed unbuttoned his drab, charcoal suit around his waist and loosened his brick red tie, slumping his head against the back of the chair. 'Well,' he sighed internally, sipping from his cup and blanching at the completely wrong flavor of the beverage… perfect. Today was a complete waste of time.'

He had 3 high-profile clients to attend to tomorrow, so he hoped he could calm himself marginally to get good rest tonight. The accountant smiled a little at the thought of returning to the safety and order of rules and numbers in the morning. There was a part of him that thought, well, everything else just wasn't for him.

Compulsory obsessions made him quite good at his job; his co-workers could spend all morning with a client while Freed had a system down to where he could have double the satisfied clientele in the same amount of time. Efficiency was key in what he did, and he made it look easy.

Relaxing some, he took another drink. It must be Masala Chai Tea or something similar; the business man rolled his eyes and thumbed the raised seal on the cup's sleeve. 'How you can mix up chai with camomile is beyond me. He must have serious inattention issues to not notice the striking scent of cinnamon, cloves and cardamom where there should be a subdued, light floral bouquet. Idiot.'

Reluctantly finishing his drink (it's rude to let it go to waste, after all!), Freed stood, refastened his jacket and exited the building. Before he could leave the walkway however, he felt the lightness in his pocket and held the door, the alarm ringing out into the nearly deserted city street.

Returning through the doorway, he swiftly crossed the wood floors back to the alcove. Where was his phone? He checked his pockets again; "nope". Freed saw something catch the light on the floor in the corner of the booth and hastily undid his buttons again to be able to bend over and retrieve the device. He paid no mind to the swinging sound of the double doors opening or the rattling of wheels against wood grain.

'Gotcha!' he thought, finally grabbing hold of the smooth manufactured case and dusting it off with his other hand. It must have fallen out when he'd opened his jacket. A mental note was made to sew a couple extra stitches in the side to make it harder to have things fall out. Something about buying another phone really seemed terribly inconvenient, especially if he could have prevented it.

"hmmmm… and every night my mind is running around ya. Thunder's gettin' louder and louder..."

Freed, startled by the terrible off-key baritone jolted upright and rapped the bottom of the table hard with the back of his head. "Sonofa-" he nearly swore out loud but settled for growling through clenched teeth. THAT, was going to leave a knot. Careful not to repeat this incredibly painful adventure, he knelt from his crouch and turned to find himself eye level with the most… glorious...boot-cut blue jeans hugging a gyrating backside like a second skin.

"Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle. I can't let you go now that I got it and all I need is to be struck by your electric loooooove… electric loovvee."

Freed looked up to find the rhythmically dancing man listening to headphones as he mopped the floor around him, stepping out into the center of the room. The wooden handle swung back and forth with the grinding of his hips. The purple tank top he wore road up on his stomach, exposing a sliver of heavy muscle surrounding the man's spine. The accountant's knees were screaming to be relieved of the bulk of his weight, but the glorious sight had him ignoring practically anything else.

"Rush into me… feel your energy rush into me… feel your energy rush into meeeeeeeeeeee!"

This guy really was tone deaf, but there was something completely free and lovely about his movements. The jagged, spiked blond hair on his head had a gently matted arrangement from having taken his work shirt and apron off to clean. When he finally turned far enough for Freed to catch his profile, there was a large, jagged scar that crept down his right brow and passed through his unfocused eye onto his high pale cheekbone.

The man was so… so….

"Beautiful…" Freed gasped, his bright eyes transfixed.

"And a-a-a-all I need is to be struck by your electric lo- AHH FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!!!"

The man jumped a good two feet in the air at the sudden sight of a businessman leering at him from under a table. He came down, landing on his weathered maroon converse and slipping on the freshly scrubbed floor beside him. The resulting crash sent the mop bucket spinning off into the corner, sloshing water everywhere before careening into the wall with a bang.

The man clutched his chest and heaved desperate breaths trying to calm the sudden race of his heart and then realizing his ass hurt something fierce. "OWWW! FUCK ME!"

Freed stumbled to his feet, but the weakness in his numb knees made them buckle under him once he'd crossed onto the slick part of the flooring. His own backside caught the fall and he felt a shooting burn of nerves crawling up his back. "Ow! What is going ON today" He griped, trying to right himself but slipping under the poor traction of his business dress shoes.

"WHAT?" The blond screamed, lifting his headphones from his ears.

Freed grimaced and tried to get up again without success. "I was actively cursing my many maladies today."

"Well do it some place else, we're closed!" The barista snapped, pointing to the door in the corner. Man, his arms were nice too. He appeared to lift often if the bulge in his biceps was any indication. The accountant wondered what the chances were he would pick him up.

'Cheesy internal one-liners. Really, Freed??'

"I would had someone not been scrubbing the floor with cooking lubricant!" The sea foam colored hair in his ponytail had loosened and fell lank around his face. "My phone fell out of my pocket in the booth and I just came to get it when you came waltzing in here like you did…"

The icy blue stare of the stranger became truly cold and he tried making his way to Freed, a vein popping on his high forehead. "You didn't SEE or HEAR ANYTHING. Period! You got me, nerd?"

"S-s-sure!!" He gasped, his hands trying to push himself out of reach. "To be fair though, if I did happen to see or hear... something, it did rather make my day better."

What he thought was a compliment seemed to anger the beastly man further. The blond was now sliding on his belly, desperately trying to catch hold of anything he could grab of Freed's to beat the everliving shit out of him. "C'MERE, ASSHOLE! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD YOU PIECE OF CRAP! NO ONE TALKS TO ME THAT WAY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

There was something reptilian in his desperate clawing at the wood grain in the floors and the clench in his jaw. The slight man panicked, even more frantically trying to reach his booth again. "Oh GODS no! That's not what I meant! Please don't-eep!!!"

In his attempt to escape, his leg had slipped out straight behind him and been captured by the blond monster. Making a sound like a wounded gazelle, Freed kicked at his aggressor, the slick sole of his shoes unable to make purchase in actually fending him off.

Instead the man grabbed him by both legs and began pulling Freed toward himself, using the fabric of his dress slacks to tug.

"Oh- Oh no! It really isn't what I meant!" The accountant pleaded tearfully turning to face the angry beast behind him, " I swear! I-I just f-ffound you to be- well-AHH! STOP PULLING YOU'RE GOING TO-"

POP.

Freed's pants slid violently down his pale legs past his knees, button having whizzed off god knows where. Green hair caught beneath a retreating limb, he collapsed, and kicked hard at the man's gut.

The blonde's eyes bulged and he coughed urgently, collapsing between the other man's exposed knees and dangerously close to his gray colored boxer briefs that read It's Monday!' across the elastic at his waist.

Completely mortified, Freed tried to get up, to put some distance between them, but the squirming of the bigger man made it difficult to get his arm out from under him. "FOR FUCKS SAKE!" he swore, his entire face beet red. WHAT WAS GOING ON TODAY!?

The sound of the door alarm rang through the shop, prompting the beast to push himself up using the thighs on either side of him.

"Laxuuuus!" a familiar voice rang out, "Sorry I was a dick and didn't lock…. the…..the door…" The voice fell, and Freed looked over to see two men standing in the doorway, the first and the one that had spoken was the salmon-haired employee that had made him the wrong tea earlier. The second had jet black hair and a bare chest beneath an open tropical shirt; expression like he'd been slapped in the face by someone's bare tit.

"HAHA! GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!" The dark haired man called with his hands cupped to carry the sound into the room.

The beast who Freed guessed must be this 'Laxus' saw red. "I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I SWEAR TO GOD! GET OFF OF ME!" He screamed at Freed.

"Y-you're on me!!!" He squeaked, but still tried to wriggle away "-And you're kind of heavy, you oaf!"

"Dude…" Flamingo hair said, his brow scrunched in confusion. "Why didn't you lock the doors if you were gonna do that stuff?? Well, I'll lock up for you anyhow. Wear a glove- see ya."

Was this dude for real? It didn't look like he was joking at all.

Just the same, the two men left, with the unmistakable sound of a lock tumbling into place.

Now that they were alone, Laxus appeared openly dejected. If Freed had to guess, he was considering the length of time he'd be stuck being given shit for all this.

"I am sorry. Here, use my hands instead." he offered, holding his hands palm up in the air toward his companion in mortification.

Laxus glowered while he reluctantly took the help, his lip curling in distaste. "Don't get any funny ideas, fairy."

Well, wasn't he pleasant.

Feeling particularly fed up, Freed clicked his tongue. "You were a lot cuter before you opened your mouth." he scoffed in frustration, now reluctantly steadying Laxus to his feet. The floor seemed to have dried some since the beginning of this encounter, and he found purchase despite the poor grip on his soles.

Oddly enough, the normally stoic if not aggressive looking man suddenly looked away, crossing his arms. Laxus bit the inside of his cheek trying to regain control over the faint dusting of pink on his porcelain ears.

How very interesting.

"Well, are you going to help me up or not?" The accountant chided again.

"And why would I do that?" Laxus sneered, his eyes still struggling to focus elsewhere. Anywhere but the man who until recently was struggling to get him out of his lap… sans pants. The thought had a deep red creeping across him from mid chest up.

Unfortunately for the beast, it didn't go unnoticed.

With a devious grin, Freed feigned helplessness, pulling his pants back up around his waist and sliding his hand across the floor. "Because you're a decent human being who isn't going to pass up an opportunity to have someone help them clean this mess up?"

Well hell… Laxus couldn't argue with that. The water would take forever to get out on his own, let alone re-scrubbing the black shoe prints and skids maring the beige tiling and finishing the floor he'd yet to touch. He would be in it deep if the old man came in bright and early to find his son's job done less than perfectly.

Sometimes being kin to the owner didn't bring any sort of reward.

Laxus pulled him to his feet by the forearm and ran a hand through his hair. "You're gonna help me… with those scrawny arms?" God why was he such a dick all the time? This beautiful man was offering to make his job easier, but the heat in his face caused a wild, anxious reluctance to accept his help.

Freed grinned, carefully making his way over to the booth and removing his jacket to set it on the seat. "I am. Do you have a second mop?" He turned expectantly, unbuttoning and removing the deep green dress shirt and red tie to reveal his own cloudy undershirt. He flexed experimentally now that he was free of long sleeves, stretching his toned arms and torso while fixing his ponytail.

Laxus tried to swallow but found he had become a desert. Instead he nervously cleared his throat and crossed the room to the broom closet beside the back entrance.

Freed leaned seductively against the table, 'I saw that,' he thought, right before his slacks fell around his ankles again. Fully dejected, he tried to right them before the man shut the closet door to see him such a state. Again.

"Ah...I would appreciate any ideas you might have in keeping my attire in place." Man, he couldn't catch a break today. Hormones really needed to take a backseat to doing what needed to be done and then promptly never entering this side of town again. Or just leave Magnolia altogether. Probably easier.

The door creaked shut, and Laxus returned with a mop and something small in his hand. "Here. Just until you can get home, I guess. Don't think anyone will notice with your jacket on." A begrudging thoughtfulness where once there was only blatant assholery?? Be still his beating heart!

A small stapler was pressed into his hands; why hadn't he thought of that? Some brainy accountant he was.

It took a few tries and even more bent pieces of metal falling to the floor, but eventually he felt confident enough that they'd stay secure. Freed took the second mop that leaned against the booth and began the mind-numbing task of sopping up water and disposing of it into the bucket.

"Dude. You've never worked an honest job in your life, have you?"

Scowling, Freed looked up at the incredulous stare next to him.

"I don't have to help, you know!" he growled back. "I've had an impossible day, but I'm trying to do the right thing here..." He was borderline tearful now, the stress eating at his stomach without pause.

Laxus rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but feel a little sympathetic, given the man's sulking. "I meant it as an observation. Don't be so sensitive. With this much water it's best I open the door and push it out; that's all I meant by it."

Freed sat back and watched the blond unlock the door and prop it open, then proceed with a large squeegee to rush the excess water out the door. A protesting accountant had been silenced with a hand; they only had one of these tools and it would be faster if he did this part himself now.

So helplessly he watched in silence. Laxus' keen side muscles rippling over his ribs through his tank top with practiced effort as he pushed the majority if the moisture down the steps. Locking the way again, he turned and found Freed flushed. "You okay?"

"Hmm? Why??" The accountant puzzled dreamily, now examining the pronounced 'v' shape of Laxus' corded muscles disappearing into his jeans.

"Looks like you have a fever is all. Not gunna get you out of helping me clean your mess up, though." The beast smirked, his pronounced canines glinting in the ambient cafe lighting.

"You're exhausting." Freed groaned, using his mop to stand and beginning to dig at the corners of his booth. He was thankful he hadn't been caught staring, or he'd really be in trouble with the quickly drying floors and no one coming to barge in and interrupt his murder.

They mopped in silence for a while, keeping to their respective sides of the room with only the gentle rubbing noise of cloth against tile. After ten minutes Laxus growled, "Too quiet. Music okay?"

"Fine." Freed affirmed, his attention mostly set on a stubborn discoloration in the corner by the oak counters.

"Don't worry about that spot. My idiot coworker did something during a particularly boring shift there. No idea what, but it hasn't come clean since." Laxus called matter of factly from a step stool below a speaker.

Just a young gun with a quick fuse. Always uptight; wanna let loose. I was dreamin' of bigger things and, wanna leave my own life behind.

Freed's head bobbed to the familiar tune. He'd heard it on the radio to and from work, but now he couldn't help but snicker at how perfectly the song seemed to describe the owner of the sound pod the music played from.

Not a 'yes, sir', not a follower. Fit the box, fit the mold, have a seat in the foyer. Take a number. I was lightning before the thunder.

The drop had Freed's body moving for a moment before he remembered his surroundings. Schooling his hips, he returned to his stoic scrubbing and looked up at the busy man...

Whose body seemed to be trying to betray him as well. The fluid nature of his mopping was giving him the permission to wiggle the rest of himself before his whole body went rigid. The accountant couldn't help but smile at that.

Thunder, feel the thunder. Lightning and the thunder, thunder, thunder.

"I like this song." He blurted during a softer point in the music. "It makes me want to dance, though the beat isn't great for it."

There was a little humor in the response, and Freed could see a slight upturn to the blond's mouth. "Yeah, I suppose it isn't. If you're looking for something else I could always change the playlist."

That was a curious offer. Intrigued, Freed swung his messy ponytail over his shoulder and shrugged noncommittally. "Whatever you'd like."

The music changed abruptly, the blond fidgeting with the device in his pocket. The beat was such that despite his best efforts to stay still, he couldn't. His mop quickly scrubbed between the booth seats and followed his slender frame. From the corner of his eye he could see the red in the other man's face deepen.

You gotta look in your eyes,I knew you in past life.One glance and the avalanche drops.One look and my heartbeat stops.

'You like that, handsome?' he smirked at his thoughts, punctuating his pleasure with a more emphatic shake of his hips. Freed had no idea what he was doing, but the reaction was too much not to continue to bother the blond. 'You like to watch me, don't you? You're not as tough as you appear...'

Ships pass in the night,I don't want to wait 'til the next life.One glance and the avalanche drops.One look and my heartbeat stops.

Looking up when he turned to mop through another section, he caught the man leering at him only to quickly look away to the spot he hadn't moved from for ten minutes.

This dance they were doing, it continued, eventually allowing Laxus to move from his spot and begin humming to the music. That was before the sudden shift in the music caught them both off guard, Freed's grin faltering. How was he supposed to dance to this?

Darker than the ocean, deeper than the sea.

"Here I thought we were listening to dance music," he remarked, his brows furrowing at the simple melody and lack of base.

You've got everything, you got what I need.

"You can dance to this." the larger man scoffed, his rosy cheeks no longer stopping his attitude.

Touch me, you're electric, babe.

Freed shrugged, returning to his work completely out of sync with the music's flow. "Doesn't really have much depth to it." He complained, disappointed he couldn't continue the teasing he'd been amusing himself with.

Move me, take me from this place.

Stepping back to continue mopping, his back met a hard, warm wall of muscle. It shocked him, and he may have yelped and jumped away if not for the firm grip that dug into his hips on either side. "Here," a soft murmur heated the shell of his ear, he could feel lips grazing the sensitive skin as they spoke, "I'll show you."

At that moment, the base appeared, and he could feel his lower half being manipulated to the slow, purposeful beat reflected in the pelvis flush against his backside.

Movin' to the tempo, show me what it takes.Speeding up my heartbeat, playing in the flames.

Freed was… freaking out. His game had had some unforseen consequences his brain couldnt quite process. None of this was expected, and his face flushed violently as he continued to clutch his mop with white knuckles. What was he going to do?? He'd placed a bet he wasn't sure he could handle!

Kiss me, we're on fire, babe.Love me, take me to outer space.Kiss me, we're on fire, babe.Love me, take me to outer space.

"You shouldn't be such a tease," Laxus mouthed against the side of his neck. The music was swaying them together at a languid pace, their bodies moving as one eith just enough friction to be pleasantly erotic. "Although, had you just gotten to the point in the first place, your face wouldn't be so deliciously rosy right now. That'd be a shame." He growled.

Covered in your water and I'm feeling like a summer breeze.

Brain short circuiting, Freed dropped the handle and placed trembling palms across the hands on his abdomen, lacing his fingers between the others. "M-My apologies," his breath hitched when a gentle open mouth kiss settled in the sensitive pace between nape and shoulder. "I'll attempt to be more forthcoming with my intent i-in the future."

Submitted under power and you brought me to my knees.

A boisterous booming laugh rattled through his back from the beastly chest behind him. The sound was as chastising as it was interested, a curious combination. "My, already implying there's a next time." One of Laxus' strong hands slid low across the fit waist in front of him. "That's bold."

Use me, you're electric, babe.

"S-so what if I am?" Freed choked on his words when a forward thumb played with one of the staples below his navel. "I-Is that something you'd be interested in, Laxus?" Before he lost the remainder of his frayed nerves, he turned in his arms and pressed himself against the blond, eyebrow raised in question.

Move me, take me all the way.

The responding grin had his confidence shaking. "Not sure you'll survive the first ride, nerd." He was so painfully attractive at this short of a distance, and his heart could hardly catch its breath with each new discovery. His long, deep brown eyelashes. The way the points of his canines nudged his bottom of his lip when he smiled. The edge of a terrible meat-head tribal tattoo peaking out of his shirt.

Whisper in my ear, I'm the only one you're loving on.Take advantage of the moment, you're the only one that I want.

"I'll admit, I'm tempted to prove you wrong." Freed breathed, his mouth ajar and lids hung low with the proximity of Laxus ' mouth to his. "...I don't know if a 'ride' is all I'm looking for though, If I could be…" The taller man brushed his nose against his, causing a hiccup in his brain activity. "...ah….transparent."

Kiss me, we're on fire, babe.Love me, take me to outer space.Kiss me, we're on fire, babe.Love me, take me to outer space.

Freed nearly whimpered when Laxus' grip on him slowly loosened and he took a half step back, his hands falling away. "Sorry," he said, the guarded wall of stone thrown up again in his tone. "Guess we should finish up here. I'm sure you have a busy day tomorrow to wake up early for."

The music played without his notice the remainder of the time he was there, the retreating beast moving back to his mop and quickening his pace. With red stained cheeks, Freed couldn't help feeling proud of himself for resisting and guilty for possibly sending the wrong signal. Gods, he was so impossibly BAD at this.

He' never expected anything out of it.

Keeping to himself, the accountant had gotten pretty decent at mopping floors by the time his mop met Laxus'. They looked around at their work, the tiles all but shimmering clean. Freed couldn't help feeling upset with himself, but his logical side argued that he'd been down that road before and the heartbreak of unrequited feelings wasn't worth the effort. A perfect stranger wasn't worth his getting bent out of shape over.

He'd stood kindly by while Laxus put away the cleaning supplies and shut off the lights. Beside the streetlights showing through the windows in large squares, all else laid shaded in darkness. He stood, overtaken completely by his own shadow in the doorway, the light surrounding him creating his perfect silhouette.

The sound of footsteps faltering had Freed turning slightly as he replaced his jacket through his arms. Only the buttons on his sleeves and his cerulean eyes caught light, almost glowing ethereal in contrast.

"Laxus?"

The steps began again, the maroon sneakers shifting into one of the lit boxes on the floor, followed by worn jeans, and the bottom of his royal purple tank top that waved with his abs. "Thanks for your help." An unseen face mumbled in the dark, brushing past him to unlock the door.

'Not like this…' Freed frowned.

Then he did something reckless.

Putting a gentle hand over Laxus', he pushed his body into his, caging the other with his lacking mass. Even in the darkness, Freed could make out that the beast's eyes were widening in front of him.

"Thank you…" he breathed, placing a lingering chaste kiss on a stubbled cheek and breathed into his ear, "...for making this day worth having."

Pressing into the door without further word, Freed exited into the cold and drew his jacket more tightly around himself. He did look back at the building once he'd gotten to his car, chancing a grin and a small wave hoping he'd seen it from the inside where he still stood probably incredulously processing.

Freed felt embarrassed but accomplished. Risks like these were necessary sometimes, he told his rational self. Sometimes there was nothing to be gained from standing still; and yet while he rubbed his hands together in the driver's seat as his economical vehicle warmed, he chastised himself for being too bold and confusing.

Probably because his order-compulsive mind was at war with a drive to become companionable.

He let out a sigh he could see in the cold and laid his crown against the headrest. Life was passing him by most days while he sat at his desk crunching numbers and filing paperwork. Why couldn't he have a little fun now and then? Where was the harm?

A tight-lipped smile with red lipstick echoed through his memory at that moment.

'Oh yes,' he amended, putting the civic in gear and beginning to head out of the parking lot to the highway.

'That's where.'