Raven never cried. She promised herself that today, she wouldn't start. Even though she knew he wouldn't be there, even though she knew she would willingly embarrass herself in front of her friends. But she had sworn she would do this.
"Happy birthday, Friend Raven!" Starfire greeted her warmly, faking a smile as Raven entered the room. It reminded her of all the times before when they had thrown her a party, although he was there every other time.
"Thanks." Raven said, smiling back. She was never happy on her birthday, only when he was around her… and even then, they all knew that she would never seem so happy unless she was upset. And they knew why she was upset. Why they were all upset, for that matter. Still, they cared about Raven, and they made their best efforts to at least pretend everything was alright.
Starfire sighed. It was rare for her to be upset, but who could feel even the slightest bit happy now that he was gone? She turned to Robin. He smiled gently at her, putting up the last decoration.
"Hey Raven. Happy Birthday." He said as Raven walked right past him, sending a friendly wave in his direction.
"Thanks! I can't wait to throw you a party, too. This is great!" Her fake happiness only seemed to put them down, knowing she was doing it for their sake. They knew the alternative was far, far worse.
She approached Cyborg as he put a ladder away. "Need some help there, Cy?" She offered. He was obviously strong enough for the job, but he couldn't deny her help somehow.
"Thanks, Rae. Uh…. Happy Birthday?"
She flashed a smile. "Thanks, guys! This is so great. Should we get started?" She rubbed her hands together, faking eagerness but fooling nobody.
"Sure." Robin agreed. "Uh, it's your party, Raven, so do you wanna pick what we do?"
"Let's just skip to the cake, if that's alright. I have… things to do, so I need to hurry." She lied. "Sorry that you made all these preparations, but let's make the best of what time we have!"
"Right, Friend Raven. We shall do the eating of the iced cloud bread now."
They all sat down and silently ate, not singing Happy Birthday or blowing out candles… just cutting the cake and then eating it.
"Yum." Cyborg said, trying to fill the silence. Robin and Starfire nodded hesitantly, their mouths full. Cake was never nearly as delicious when you missed someone.
"Hey, Raven, you can open our presents now if you want. Since you have, uh, limited time." Robin said, handing his present to her. She opened the card attached to it first.
Happy Birthday, Raven. You're the best teammate anyone could ever ask for.
She smiled at him, and he smiled back, seeing it was somewhat genuine. She then opened the gift. It was a small but charming purple book.
"Thanks." She whispered, as Starfire handed her Cyborg's gift. Again, she read the card.
Heya, Rae. I'm proud of you. We all are.
"Thanks." She repeated, this time at Cyborg. They shared a moment to smile, and then she quickly moved onto the gift. It was a small handheld device that he had made himself. "Neat." She said as Starfire then gave her the last gift, this one from her.
Friend Raven, you are truly magnificent, if that is the word used on Earth to describe one's greatness. Perhaps I should call you Sister Raven from now on.
Attached was a $50 gift card to the mall. "Thanks, Starfire."
"It is my pleasure, Friend- I mean- Sister Raven. If you desire to go now, we will not deny your request."
Raven sighed. "Before I go, I wrote something that I want to read to you guys."
"Sure, Raven. Go ahead." Robin assured, although glancing nervously at his friends.
"It is not about Friend Beast Boy, is it?" Starfire wondered. Nobody really answered her, but she had the answer all along.
Raven took a crumpled piece of paper out of her cloak, unraveled it, and closed her eyes. Was she really going to do this to them? Was she really going to do this to herself? No, she was doing this for herself. To end it once and for all, to finally be able to say how she felt about him, about her, about them; that meant everything to her. Her eyes opened, and a small breath took its last chance to escape before she began to read.
"I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."
Raven wiped away a tear. "I'm sorry." She excused. "I promised myself I wouldn't… I wouldn't…" She didn't finish, however, for she ran for the door before she could let herself.
"Wait!" Cyborg called. "Uh… BB asked for me to give this to you."
She looked down at the card, snatched it away from Cyborg, and ran to her room.
In green, sloppy handwriting, it read:
I love the way you yell at me and the way you hide away.
I love it when you use my stuff.
I love everything you say.
I love your purple cloak and the way you read my mind.
I love you so much it makes me smile; it even makes me rhyme.
I love it, I love the way you won't admit that I'm always right.
I love it when you lie.
I love how you can make me laugh, and sometimes even cry.
I love when you're around, and the fact that you called.
But mostly I love the way I could never hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
I love you, Raven. Happy Birthday.