here's the truth . . . i didn't wanna write this cuz i'm super duper lazy but when i wanna study i think about this freaking story that keeps playing on my mind then i wanna pay attention at class but i'm still thinking about it , damn i even think about it in the bathroom ! it's killing me so i decided to write it down ! may not be as good as you expect it . . . i'm rusty cuz i'm lazy !

summary : natsume wakes up with no memories and finds himself in a Japanese styled house in the mountains, not only that but the youkais there are calling him 'gin natsume' their lord (a.n/ gin from hotarubi no mori e) how will natsume reacts when he remember his real name ? who is 'gin' ? is he missing ? however things aren't so bright on madara's side either , where is his human ? had he really just spirited away ? will the long alone time dig up some hidden 'feelings' for natsume ? feelings he never knew existed ?

rating : i don't know how to rate but i'd say at least 13+ (i don't wanna ruin kids innocence with yaoi )

warning : yaoi obviously XD probably ooc cuz i cant really get the story line as i pictured it if i stuck to the original character too much or . . . . . . . maybe cuz i'm a newbie ! damn i should make one-shots !

pairings : madara/natsume maybe a little matoba/natsume

disclaimer : really do i even have to do this ! i mean i obviously own them NOT ! come on if i did it'll be madara/natsume all the way !

A.N/ a character from will take a major role "gin" from hotarubi no mori e ! the same author and artist of natsume yuujinchou !

natsume pov

my hands are unconsciously holding something fuzzy and silky tightly, my cheek keeps brushing something smooth and cozy , I opened my eyes to see the fluffy looking clouds closer than they should be , not long after that I realized that I'm flying on a white furry creature, I stared at my hands before I loosened my grip and I began caressing the beast slowly I curried my cheek in its back , 'hold on tight ,idiot natsume' I heard him say . . . yah him he have a deep husky and calming voice .

my mind is currently unable to comprehend whats going on , am I dreaming ? am I really flying ? who is this ? why does he seem so familiar ? better yet who am I ? I was starting to develop a headache so I dismissed every thought so I looked around specifically down to the right and I saw a familiar rice field with a close by hot spring house not far from it there was a forest and from my position I can spot a mountain deep inside, somehow I felt as if there was a connection that ties me to the forest , have I come here before ?

'stop tuning out natsume' he told me his voice was fading, and I was more confused now , why ? why am I so clod even though I'm holding into this silky white fur ? why can't I hear the wind blowing in my face or the birds we passed by ? why can I hear only his voice ? even though he's right here why am I hearing his voice faint like if he was few away from me ohh! He's talking to me now 'w—ere –re you nat—me ?' is he asking where I was before ? I don't know how would I know I saw sleeping wasn't I ? or am I still sleeping ?

suddenly I was brought out of thoughts when I realized that he is not here anymore . . . no one is here !, its all black everywhere I see is black and . . . I'm somehow floating its so quiet and relaxing well that's what I thought before I started falling.

I did some amazing back flips that I wished someone saw because I know I wont ever do again . . . any way my head was positioned down and my legs were up ! I panicked and tried to change my position because that would seriously hurt , I managed to balance myself so now my head and my legs are on the same level and I relaxed like if I was sleeping, I closed my eyes .

what you think I should try landing on my legs ? no thank you I'm no cat plus I barely managed to get my head and legs on the same level I don't wanna waste that and some how I doubted this would hurt me permanently I mean this is a dream , isn't it?

suddenly my eyes shot open and I was not falling and I was once again in a dark place but this one was small . . . so small in fact my back was pressed against something and my legs were touching maybe a wall on the opposite side !

my knees were slightly above my shoulder ! I sighed before I tried to move my hands from under this . . . this blanket ? on good I'm cold I warped the blanket around me and began feeling the other two walls on my left and right with my hands ! nothing on the left and mmm . . . nothing on the ri- ohh what's that ? I felt a small thin vertical space where air was rushing in, now I sat with my back to the left wall and both hands trying to push the wood? it seems like it.

ok so it wasn't so heavy but it was still heavier that normal wood ! guess what I found on the other side ? yes you're right darkness . . . again , but this time the place is probably huge ! and so I wandered on four why you ask ? well because it better to be closer to the ground . . . no I'm not a a- - don't say that word ! *blushes*

I was becoming anxious and impatient so I decided to walk faster only to feel something sharp colliding with my forehead! ow oww oww that was that ? it felt like the edge of wall , you know it's that's annoying 90 degree turn ! I could feel the blood rushing to the abused area but thankfully there was no blood ! with my right hand on my forehead I reached my other hand to feel the criminal !

only to find an area where the wood I assume again the wood was concaved ! hesitatingly I slid my fingers inside and thought that is might be a slide door, it makes more sense! so I did what anyone would have done I slide the door and I was met with most unexpected view i might ever see , because well I expected darkness again !

but I totally wasn't expecting a Japanese styled room with an old woman another wearing old Indian tripe clothes with the long feather crown another old woman with but this one had only one eye the other one was sewn shut behind her floating in the air was a crow like creature with human aura and he was wearing clothes ah yah that's a tengu .

on the other side of the room a third old woman this one was quite tall and reeked of wickedness she also had a yatagarasu 'a three legged crow' on her shoulder not far from her there was a huge white tigger a byakko ? the door was closed and two two lion dog hybrids shishi ? were gurarding the door .

I spotted blue headed man between a clan of red headed people , a man with an eagle head and a human body was standing on the far side of the red clan and beside him a childlish looking man with a very worried/shocked/angry expression was arguing with a man who looks like he hasn't brushed his hair in years and he was wearing a lap coat !

and they all stared at me like they were waiting for me to kick them out of the room ! I did the only thing a sane person would do I closed the slide door waited . . . . maybe next time I would open this door id find myself in a normal place . . . yah probably !

after a while I opened the door again to find the same people only this time most of them were standing up and were closer than before as if they wanted to slide open the door !

I blinked twice at their frozen figure they looked at me as if I caught them in the middle of a crime scene, the man in the lap coat looked specially horrified that it was actually funny just a little bit because I'm not a sadist and they are joking right I mean it me who should be scared of them right they're the weird ones !

I forced a smile and then I closed the door again right after I saw their mouths hung open ! they are really weird I thought as I nodded and they didn't seem all that bad needless to say I was bored quickly so I was thinking of opening the door again .

Is it worth it ? getting involved with people like that . . . yep it is and so I slid the door open one last time expecting them closer but I found them still frozen in place with their mouths still hung open well not all of them some of them are just staring at me .

guess these are the smart people who give the i-don't-talk-much kind of look! I sighed and closed my eyes for a second before I calmed down and after I opened them and I tried to get in the room !

I found out that the place I'm in is probably a large closet or something because the ground of the room is a little farther than I expected ! it was far enough that if I wanted to sit down beside the slid door my feet wouldn't touch the ground by a couple of inches !

so Instead of stepping in I sat down and waited for them to get over the shock of what ever that shocked them ! they stared at me and I stared back but I was confused because it seems that everyone I stare at never hold my gaze and look down immediately ! "what are you all doing here ?" I finally asked , if they were doing nothing then why so tense ?

"gin natsume-sama we were worried about you, you see just now we have been atta-" a man in the back he was wearing a skull over his face it was shattered so his mouth was visible ! "gin natsume . . . is that me ?" I cut him off when I remembered the white beast from my dream he said 'w—ere –re you nat—me ?'' he ment where were you natsume ? it actually fits !

I was a little lost in thought when I saw the skull man . . . no it's a little bit rude to call him that so I'll call him skullman-san for now ! I saw skullman-san talking quietly with the elders while a red headed guy probably 25 or so rushing the youkais out .

oh yes youkais that's what they are now I remember at least a little oh my who am I to get soo deeply involved with this amount of youkais ? I saw that red headed youkai male aka-san smirking at me as if this amuses him .

and somehow I knew I'm not very good with smirks so I smiled softly innocently at him while softening my eyes as if he was a pet cat that I'm very fond of and I got the reaction I wanted he was shell shocked.

as I expected seems me and him didn't get well in the past pftt its funny how many reaction I get from just smiling . . . but does that mean I never smiled in the past ? that's sad but now that im smiling again I wont stop till they get used to it ! its best to laugh with someone than to laugh at someone ! wait a minuet . . . how do I know that ? how do I know that being laughing at hurts . . . hurts so much , have these youkai laughed at me before? No . . . they seem to respect me or fear me so much ! its just a very familiar feeling . . . being laughed at that is . . .

I must have had a sad look on my face or something because when I looked up the only remaining youkai aka-san , byakko the white tigger, shishi, the childlish looking guy chibi-san and the one in the lap coat lapcoat-san looking at me worriedly . . . I felt blood rush to my cheeks at the sudden concern .

I stepped into the room and the moment my legs touched the ground I hugged my knees and looked sideways to avoid their gaze "i—im sorry its just that I'm so confused and I'm obviously causing problems for everyone and that now yo—" chibi-san cut me off by saying "gin-sama please don't ever apologize again you had no fault in this "

I was caught off guard what does that mean ? to never apologize ? what if I was in wrong ? lapcoat-san approached me slowly hands in the air at the level of his shoulders "gin-sama I have to examine you to find out what's wrong with you, alright ?" he said slowly .

I didn't answer I only studied his slow movement "why are you doing this lapcoat-san ? , its not like I bite or anything " I told him softly making sure not to sound like I'm scolding him , I don't want to freak him out more than he already is .

"oh actually you do bite , and it leaves quiet the scar you know" aka-san said frowning pointing to his left arm where I found a scar shaped like a teeth mark, I jumped and held his wrist softly while brushing my other fingers across the scar slightly as to not hurt him .

" did it hurt ? I'm so sorry of course it did it left a scar after all , how ? I mean why did- aww ah I'm sorry . . . I feel bad how do I make it up to you ?" I asked him in a really rushed and quiet voice and he looked at me the look that says 'are you for real ?' "of course I'm serious I'd help you anytime just tell me and I'll do that , I owe you you know"

"gin-sama , please you have to rest you're clearly not aware of what you're saying " chibi-san said as he slowly reached out for me, he helped me up and that's when I realized that chibi-san wasn't exactly chibi he's a head taller than me it's just his face that looks chibi , "gin-sama it's better if we go to the infirmary " lapcoat-san said

"natsume . . ." I said quietly they all looked at me with a raised eyebrow "call me natsume . . . somehow when I hear you say gin . . . I just ignore it as if it's not me you're talking to , my mind is not comprehending the fact that i'm called gin. . . so until I get used to it call me natsume ,ne?" if they weren't dumfounded before then they defiantly are now so they just nodded looking as dumb as ever , there was a long awkward silence before I asked what was on my mind for a while now

"what should I call you ?" I asked with a smile on my face , oh god what happened the cat got their tongues ? "you know I wouldn't mind calling you aka-san , chibi-san and lapcoat-san , but I don't want to be rude soo . . . what's it gonna be ?"

"I'm Akashi tsukitame , this crazy doctor is betobeto and that lousy guy over there is zashikiwarashi but you can call him chibi , I call him chibi too sometimes "aka-san said as he gave a playful smirk and I smiled at him.

"lets go to the infirmary gi- natsume-sama " betobeto-san said with a crazy smile on his face I suddenly got the chill , he's looking at me like as if I was a lab rat , after I hesitatingly nodded betobeto-san and zashiki-san exited the room , I sighed before I followed them but as I exited I turned to look at Akashi-san and I mouthed 'anytime' to him but he only smiled and started shaking his head as if saying 'you're unbelievable' .

it's get better believe me it's all playing in my head like a freaking anime, ok maybe it only sounds as good in my head but i promise i'll try my best ! gnight it's 4:09am here !

*PEACE*