Falling...I was falling. No! I don't want to go...There! That wasn't aPlace for me! I didn't mean it! I-I...oh, what's the use! I can't make up excuses...Lord, forgive me! Don't let me go there! Lord...HELP!

Peace daughter. You shall not be a true Fallen. But because of your sins that sprouted from your lips and the crime that you failed to prevent, you shall wander the earth...voiceless, mute, and wingless...until you right what has been wronged...

But how..? HOW?

You shall have to discover for yourself. You are to wander the earth, ever living and ever dying. You shall be mortal.

What? But-but...I held my arms out, pleading with HIm. His voice faded from my mind...I couldn't see Him. No...don't leave me...I can't bear it...Mortal again? With pain, anger, sadness and hate? Why? Pain as I had never felt before exploded across my back, as my wings were ripped from me. NO! No...not my wings! I fell ever faster...I tried to scream, but nothing escaped from my mouth except a sad-sounding moan...My voice was gone. This was happening too fast. How long had I been falling? A few minutes or years?

Suddenly, I crashed into something...everything went black...

I opened my eyes. A strange thatched roof was above my head.. There was fluid on my face. I tried to lift my arms and wipe it off, but they were weak, oh so weak. I tried again. A blinding whiteness desended over my vision. The fluid was gently washed from my face. I feebly struggled against the strange arms wrapped around me. I connected with something.

"Ow...she has a hard little fist sure enough." said a grating voice that was trying to be quiet and soothing but was doing a very bad job of it.

"Just like her father..." gasped a tired sounding voice that sounded like honey compared to the other. "Let me hold her..."

"Ma'am...are you strong enough?"

"Strong enough to hold my daughter? Of course." I was transferred to a soft set of arms, and looked up into a pale face that smiled at me. A gentle rocking soon soothed my tantrum. A smell of honey comforted me even more."Little Amber...my little Amber..." said the voice issuing from this woman. My eyes closed and I resigned myself to the comfort of sleep.

I set aside my sewing and glanced out of the window. I remembered that day...my birthday. I remembered it when others didn't theirs. I looked out over the moor that my father had bought from the baron of the land. Misty, as always. I turned my attention to the room that I was sitting in. My father was so attentive to me, you wouldn't know that I had two brothers and an older sister. I was given a tower room when I was ten. My sister still had to live across from our father. My brothers had been knighted and were off on quests. My apartments had elborate tapastries and fancy furinture. I had all the dresses I wanted, and all the jewels my mother had left me.

Mother had died that day. She had died after my birth. 14 years ago. I still remember the smell and touch of honey. I still remember her face. I know that she awaits me, the priests say so...but...I can't help feeling that I'm different. Of course, the doctors all say that I'm not my father's daughter. (Only under their breath, and only in my presence.) They say Mother was consorting with a wizard, and that's why I'm mute. They say it's Our Lord's punishment.

I don't believe it.

I picked up my sewing, dropping it again and sucking on the place where the needle had pricked me. The ruby colored drop of blood reminded me of my sister's wedding in two weeks. She had chosen red and gold to be the colors. I personally didn't like red. It just seemed...angry. Mad at something. I wear blue or white. I returned to the scarlet scarf with the crest embordiered with gold I was making for her. Maybe...just maybe she'll like it.

Jasmine didn't make it to her wedding. While she had been riding with the groom-to-be, they had been ambushed. Theodore had been killed, and my sister raped. She killed herself from shame.

Instead of the red, the castle is decked in black. I burned her wedding scarf...I sent it to Heaven...to her. Even now, the tears won't come. I feel so cold and empty. No more will Jasmine decorate my hair or give me advice on boys and horseback riding. No more will she help me with my sewing. She was never resentful...she always cared about me.

Father hasn't emerged from his chambers yet. I assume he is still in mourning. He often said that Jasmine reminded him of Mother more and more every day. But now she was gone and nothing could bring her back.

There it is, Jasmine's tomb. The mist swirled aroundmy legs as I brought a dozen roses to her. Red and white...her favorite colors. Jasmine...why? Why did you leave us? I miss you...The sounds of leaves crunching makes me turn. It's Father. I stared blankly at the man before me, he wasn't recognizable. He had a straggly beard, his eyes were hollow, and he was pale. He knelt beside me, but didn't look at me. I doubt he was able to see me. He had a box clutched in his hands. I watched as he took out Jasmine's wedding dress, the white gown with gold ribbons and rubies decked allabout it. He stared at it for a few minutes. Then he buried his head in it and sobbed like the world was coming to an end.

I gently placed a hand on his shoulder. He jerked up, and looked at me. His eyes were fevered and puffy.

"Jasmine...?" he croaked. I shook my head. "Oh, Amber. I'm sorry...I thought...maybe..." The look on his face wrenched my heart from my body and the tears finally came. Slowly at first, but when Father started to cry again, I collasped against him, the pain and anguish flooding out of my system. He dropped the gown and hugged me to him. We sat there, in the dirt, rocking back and forth as we sobbed soundlessly.

How many hours we sat there I don't know. The hours rolled by and we sat there still. The roses had wilted and the dress was ruined. Hiccupping, Father and I went back to the castle, tears still coming down. The roses were gone by morning.

Three months later, new came of Father's border being attacked by a band of knights calling themselves the Red Phoenixs. I suppose they thought they were immortal. Father, of course, galloped off, to save the day. I wish he hadn't.

Two nights after he left, my new handmaiden came in with spiced wine. I didn't feel like drinking. But she insisted, pouring me a goblet. She said it would stave off the winter chill that had settled over the castle. Sighing, I drank. Then crawled into bed, lonely. Wishing that my cat hadn't got in the way of the nasty cook.

Later that night, I awoke to a burning pain in my stomach. I sat up quickly which turned out to be a mistake. I threw up blood and the remains of the wine. I fell off of my bed. I curled up on the floor, rocking and moaning with pain. I heard a noise, like a laugh. Looking up, I saw the silouette of the handmaiden sitting on the window sill. The moon came out from behind the clouds and lit up her face. She was smirking. I held my hands out to her, silently pleading for my life. Then I noticed that she was wearing my favorite gown, a blue and purple one, made of silk and ribbons. I stared at her silently.

"You're so stupid, Amber. Just like your father. There is no attack. Well, there will be." She gave a cold chuckle, and said, "Remember your uncle Gwain? No...? Suppose not. Your father banished him and took over his castle, his life. My father wandered the lands, and now he as returned to take back what is his. Now, die with the information I'm about to give you...Your brothers lie slain in a distant field, your father most likely is dead now by my father's sword, and your sister shamed and beaten by our knights. I hear she slew herself later. All the better."

Her voice was fading fast. My eyes were going blurry. She had posioned the wine. I was about to die. With some of my last ounces of strength, I stood up and shoved her with all of the strength left in me. I shoved her into the fire, that was still burning. Screaming, she leapt out of the flames, but the silk dress that she was wearing went up with a whoosh! Still screaming, she ran around, cursing my name, beating at her clothing, and howling for her father. Slowly, she fell to the stone floor, motionless. The flames licked up and down her body, burning it past recognition. I collasped, knowing my family's murders had been avenged. Pain engulfed me...darkness took me...Jasmine...will I be able to see you now?

My sister's face swam before my eyes. I reached out to touch her, but she drew back.

I bring a message. You cannot come back.

But...I died...

I know. But you did not complete your task. You did not retrieve the Shikon Jewel.

But...!

Go back.

Falling...again.

Author's Notes:
I dedicate this to a friend who lost someone dear to her. My heart goes out to you, Belle.

Disclaimer: I own nothing Inu-Yasha or cool. (Pouts for a few days)