"I started low, but I've gotten high up, and I can only get better. I'm tired of pretending to be a good guy; a hero. The wolf inside me demands to destroy the outer sheep surrounding it, and everyone will see the true me. The hunger for the status I most desire grew at a gradual pace throughout the years, and the now-insatiable craving must be satisfied before my inner wolf breaks free from its flowery confines. It must happen now, even if it takes breaking everything else I have. Friends. Family. Peace. Immortality. Love. I will tear anything to shreds in return for my desire, and I'll cast the now-useless shards into the dark, eternal sea of their hopelessness."
- Medieval Koopa Lore
Chapter I
Wedding of the Century: A Bride's Stress
Dawn approaches the eastern Mushroom Kingdom, converting the grey-and-black sky into one of orange, yellow and blue. As the Sun shoots down every last sign of nighttime, the residents of the eastern lands of Giant Land, Water Land, Grass Land, Sky Land and the Mushroom Province reveal themselves from their ramparts. However, for the residents, today's not an ordinary day. Everywhere in the Mushroom Kingdom, businesses remain closed and thousands of citizens dance in the streets, all with huge grins implanted on their faces. Sounds of blaring trumpets boom all throughout the Kingdom while happy citizens shout out multiple 'Hooray!'s. Today's celebrations marks the day when Princess Peach marries her hero and longtime friend, Mario.
However, behind the castle's walls, anxiety, rather than excitement, rings throughout the air and bounces off the elegant rose-coloured walls. Like a foul odour, the bitter feeling of stress oozes out from every crevice present in the elegant marble floors. The stress accumulates into the minds of everyone; even the dainty Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom appears to not be immune to the unwanted condition. Although lounging in the comfort of the pink walls, the queen-sized bed and the stained glass window that makes up her bedroom, Peach still worries about the general turnout of the wedding.
"Are you excited, girl?" Daisy questioned Peach in her light country accent. Several of Peach's servants, as well as her best friend Daisy, crowd around her to get her wedding dress ready.
"I've been waiting for this day since forever!" Peach stated in weak excitement. It's not that she hates Mario—no, far from it. Peach, like her mother, is a perfectionist; she fears that even a pesky housefly can ruin her special day. In almost an instant, she begins to mutter in doubt, "I'm just scared, Daisy."
Daisy gives Peach a little scowl before plumping up her orange dress. Being Peach's maid of honor rather than a normal bridesmaid, Daisy bears a special orange dress rather than the typical white of the others. Despite wanting the bridesmaids to wear pink a few months ago, Peach instead changed her mind and required them to bear white dresses; she wanted the less-formal pink dress gig to be her own. As for the Maid of Honor, she wanted to leave the choice of colour to none other than Daisy.
"Scared of what?"
"I'm just... Well, nervous over the entire thing. What if something goes wrong? All the citizens will eat it up within seconds; they won't respect me the same again! It'll be a late April Fool's joke in their minds!"
Peach didn't look at Daisy's face, but she can tell Daisy's giving her a scowl. Despite the two being inseparable best friends, Daisy doesn't hesitate to dish out some sort of negativity towards Peach or her thoughts whenever she deems it necessary. Peach always knew she can count on Daisy whenever it came to topics requiring honesty and a bit of opinion. Unlike the typical suck-up-to-Peach-because-she's-the-ruler-of-the-Mushroom-Kingdom folks, Daisy's always been more down-to-earth with her opinions, praises and criticism.
"Peach. Nothing will go wrong; don't fret," Daisy attempted to comfort the princess, "Now y'all just try to relax while we wait for your mum to help fix your makeup. Don't cry either; it's hard to put eyeliner on wetness, and I also suck at swimming while in a dress! I thought the tears from the sinners at Church were deep enough to drown in!"
Still in anguish, Peach peers down at the wedding invitation she saved out for archival reasons. The comforting vinyl feel of the card on her fingertips gives her a rush of comfort as she brushes over the card's edge. Rubbing the card, Peach studies the picture in the centre of the invitation. In the picture, Peach holds a sort of sceptre, and both she and Mario show off elegant, gold crowns. Peach smiles at the picture, then focuses her attention to the text on the right of the invitation. The text, written in a gold-coloured elegant font, reads: 'King Toadstool and Queen Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Princess Peach Toadstool, to her hero, Mario Mario. The ceremony will be at 1PM on April 18, 2001 in the Castle's Courtyard, followed by a reception at 5PM.'
'Now,' Peach laments to herself, 'April 18 has approached, and 1PM approaches rapidly.' Although the fourteenth hour of the day advances from the future to the present at full tilt, Peach still couldn't believe that today is her day. With almost no mental preparation, the sudden epiphany of her getting wedded tortured her all day.
"PEACH!" the Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom hollers at her daughter as she walks into the room. With butterflies still swarming in her stomach, Peach puts down the invitation and looks away from the partying kingdom on the other side of the window. The Queen appears ready for her daughter's wedding; the monarch already rocks a white bridesmaid gown, a silver, gem-plated tiara and a huge ring. Seeing Peach, the Queen pulls back her silvery-blonde hair and smiles.
"Mother!" Peach called out, leaving the circle of her servants and giving her mum a hug. In return, the Queen gives Peach a seemingly-warm, comforting hug in return.
"Oh, Peach darling; my grown up girl..." the Queen replied in a hushed whisper. The two of them then pull apart from the hug and the Queen states, "We need to get you married—I MEAN ready for your marriage!"
'Get you married?' Peach wondered to herself in curiosity, 'Is this some sort of plan that accidentally got leaked out? I mean, I am all for marrying Mario, but was it my own mother, rather than Mario himself, that planned for this to happen?'Either way, she brushes it off as she sits down at the makeup table. 'If she ever planned to marry me off, it was to have a married heir to the throne.'
Peach's mum opens one of the table's drawers. An entire beautician store's worth of makeup greets the royals: gold eyeliner, silver mascara, peach foundation powder, a bit of blue eyeshadow, red lipstick and several other colours of makeup stuffed into the magnificent drawer. Without organising the cluster of makeup in any way, the Queen pulls out the drawer and dumps the contents onto the makeup table. As Queen Toadstool grabs the foundation powder and applies it to Peach's face, Daisy attempts to put on Peach's eyeliner while a servant does her lipstick.
'Oh great,' Peach mutters to herself as several pairs of waving arms surround her face, each one threatening to make a potential mistake on the bride. Peach already knows by the buildup of her stress that this is going to be a long, tiring day.
Several minutes after the invasion of Peach's face by various makeup tools, Peach finds herself behind the closed doors to the courtyard with her father, the King. From the other side of the door, the marrying princess can hear the sound of an orchestra, a bit of chatter and a microphone being tested out. The excitement occurring on the other side had Peach... well, anxious and nervous over the entire situation. Despite Peach being the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, she hasn't experienced an event THIS exciting in years. Most of her life consists of either mushroom balls, participating in spin-off games or being kidnapped by multiple villains, Bowser included. All in all, other than a date with Mario thrown in, her weeks are—well, relatively stressful, sucky and sophisticated. And to think people envied her title as Princess.
'Call me paranoid but...' Peach thought, 'Something tells me that this wedding will not go completely scot-free.'
At the realization of a possible mistake, Peach's legs start to tremble, causing her wedding dress to produce a shuffling noise. Noticing the sound, her father looks over at her. Rather than displaying a look or action of concern, Peach's father instead gives her a bewildered stare.
"Peach?" the Mushroom King questioned.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
"Just a bit nervous," Peach admitted, her dress still creating the crumpling noise from her tremors. Her father nods his head, then gives his daughter a facial expression as if telling her that he's about to drift off in a ten-thousand-year-long slumber.
"Tell me about it... I'm missing the PGA tournament. I'm so nervous about turning on the television and seeing who won... I am taping it though, so that's good, right?"
"Uhh, sure?" Peach added with a confused look on her face. 'I thought this conversation was going to be about me and this day, not about some tournament of golf... Let me ask him again.'
After her thoughts, Peach then questions her father.
"But what do you feel about my wedding?"
"Well, not as interesting as golf, I'll tell you that!" her father guffawed. Feeling some perspiration underneath his mushroom cap, The King takes it off then wipes some of the sweat off with a handkerchief, "Woo! I sure hope the PGA results aren't displayed on any of them Sports channels! Makes King Toady all nervous!"
Peach sighs; she will not be getting any help or sympathy from him any time soon. Then again, who would give her sympathy? Maybe Daisy is right—perhaps she just needs to kick back, relax, maybe do some meditation while listening to classical music—just anything.
'Might as well let him lament over stupid golf while his daughter sits here nearly wetting her wedding dress in anxiety.'
As she forms a look of dejection on her face, the doors to the ceremony open and two mushroom guards step into the room, the two of them wearing little tuxedos to match the formal attire of the programme. Seeing the guards dressed up like civilians rather than the typical clanky armour notorious with the typical guards, Peach silently voices a prayer of gratitude to the Stars. As much as she feels safe with bloodthirsty, intimidating guards as her first line of defence, all Peach wants is a decent, civilized and modern wedding rather than a wedding full of kidnappings, armour and other medieval-aged ideas.
"Your Majesty," one of the guards spoke up, "It's time to walk your daughter down the aisle."
Nodding his head as if silently stating 'Anything to get this over with', Peach's father locks his bent arm with hers. Elbow-to-elbow they walk down the red carpet, slowly but steadily making their way to the altar where Toadsworth waits for them with patience. Peach nervously looks away from the altar and catches sight of Birdo throwing flower pedals in front of the father-daughter walk, as well as several rows of folding chairs, all of them packed with eager wedding watchers.
As Peach and her father continue to approach the altar, and with Peach still focusing her attention anywhere but the altar, the orchestra starts to play multiple wedding songs such as The Wedding Canon and Here Comes the Bride. The beautiful music, as well as the sight of Mario in a red-colored tux, causes Peach to experience even more butterflies than ever before.
'This is it!' Peach stated to herself, 'The day when Mario becomes my husband, my Prince, my everything.'
Still, she admits to herself, she cannot believe the day of her marrying Mario has now approached. Ever since he first rescued her from the clutches of Bowser, Peach knew he was the one, but she didn't know that they will get married this soon. Peach is just happy that she is marrying Mario rather than a half-wit, self-absorbed idiot such as Prince Haru.
'Mario... Well, he didn't seem like the one favouring commitment, but at the same time, I think he does try hard whenever it is tossed at him.'
When the father-daughter duo approach the first row of folding chairs, Peach's father lets go of her arm. With her entire body quaking, the princess attempts to focus all her energy into moving her feet up each of the three stairs towards the altar, one white high heel after another...
Peach makes it up the stairs with no incident, and stands face-to-face with none other than Mario. Seeing a grin appear on his face, Peach smiles back at him before Toadsworth goes on with the vows.
"Mario, read your vows."
The red plumber then takes out a folded sheet of paper from his pocket and unfolds it. He then glances at the handwriting present on the sheet and reads them out loud.
"I, Mario Mario, take you, Princess Peach Toadstool, to be my lawfully wedded wife, princess and damsel in distress. For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, or if Bowser ever rules the Mushroom Kingdom. I promise to honor and cherish you. This I vow to you."
Hearing his vows, Peach successfully holds back her giggling. Toadsworth then pulls out a folded piece of paper and hands it to Peach. Silently thanking him, Peach unfolds the paper, revealing the vows she wrote earlier and gave to Toadsworth for safekeeping. She then reads the words on the paper loud enough for the entire audience to hear.
"I, Princess Peach Toadstool, take you, Mario Mario, to be my lawfully wedded husband. For sickness, in health, for 99 lives, for only two lives, for richer, for poorer—even though I am the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom so we'll never be poor," she read, adding the last line to try to match the humor that Mario's vows have. Her last minute punchline seems to be a success, as the members of the audience let out little giggles, "This I vow to you."
Peach then grabs Mario's gloved hand with her hand. Both of them stare into the eyes of each other, mesmerised. Looking into Mario's eyes, Peach can imagine every terrain he'd gone through to save her. Perpetual plains, deathly deserts, frigid floes and massive mountains are only some of the landscapes she can sense in Mario's azure eyes. Their trance breaks when Toadsworth announces the final verdict.
"Mario, you may now kiss your bride."
The entire audience claps as Mario leans towards Peach and gives her a kiss. As their lips meet, pure feelings of happiness and ecstasy wash over Peach. While it lasted, Peach felt as if she can bench press Saturn with one hand: she felt nothing but the feelings of invincibility coursing through her veins. Not only has her wedding gone without incident, but she's now married to her longtime hero! That one kiss—that amazing, sentimental kiss—confirms that her longterm goal has been reached.
The newly-wedded couple break away from the kiss and stand side by side. With her left hand gripping Mario's right, the now-married princess lifts up her right hand and waves to the crowd.
"Ladies and gentlemen, meet your newly-wedded couple, Princess Peach Toadstool and Prince Mario Mario!" Toadsworth announced. The crowd then stands up and every member of the audience bows to them. Both of them continue to wave to the crowd with their free hands.
As the crowd bows to the new couple, Peach catches sight of her mother, who appears to be crying—most likely tears of joy. She then stares at her father; he is staring into space with a goofy smile on his face, oblivious to whatever celebrations are occurring. Probably playing golf with other political figures in his mind. The bliss emotion on his face may also imply the course having endless sun, vast areas of gently-sloping hills and a never-ending supply of spare tees.
Seeing her non-responsive father, Peach sighs as she stares at her newly-wedded husband. 'Husband' she thought to herself, 'This will take some getting used to... hehe!'
"Father still not showing any signs of life, eh?" Mario questioned. Peach then shook her head in anguish.
"Nope... Let's just get ready for the reception..."