Disclaimer: Nope, I certainly do not own any of these characters, or Panem, or the Districts.. *sigh* It's all the work of our dear Suzanne :)
In District 2 everything had been so different. So far from District 12, from the Seam, the mines, and from the people he had loved. The deep emptiness Gale had felt on the inside after that last bomb had gone off was a heavy weight to carry. It kept creeping into his nightmares, the fire, the children, the face of the little girl he had loved like his own sister. Prim, with a few messy strands of blond hair covering her blue eyes in the rush of the moment, her head turning around to find Katniss, her mouth opening as her bright eyes lit up for a second, and then the second, finishing boom. And Prim was no more. This always brought back the memory of that other shiny, blond mane, help up in a pale pink ribbon, her clear eyes smiling, bright and striking on her pale skin, now forever forgotten, buried in the Meadow after the destruction of District 12. But Gale could never forget her, Madge was always on his mind.
Gale felt his insides clench as the train came to a stop at the station of District 12. This place where he once felt at home and would have given everything to protect now felt far away, and he dreaded setting foot on it again. His eyes tightly shut, he heard the door of the compartment slide open, and a light breeze rushed in, bringing the long forgotten scent of the mines, of burning coal and ashes, right to his airway, making him dizzy.
Slowly, Gale opened his eyes, took his luggage from under the seat, and left the compartment, stepping onto the cold concrete. The minute he did so, a painful memory hit him: it was the day Peeta and Katniss returned from their first Games. They were all standing there, at the station, surrounded by cameras flashing everywhere. And she stood there next to him, faintly smelling of strawberries and honey, firmly holding his rough, scarred hand in hers, as delicate and soft as ever amongst the chaos surrounding them. She had been nervously biting her soft, reddened bottom lip, an anxious look on her face, her eyes wide open, searching for Katniss' face to come out of that train.
He shook the memory away, and focused his thoughts on the present, as he looked around. And there she was, her dark hair in the loose braid she always wore, and her grey eyes smiling in time with her soft lips. He hadn't been expecting her to be here, waiting for him to arrive. Seeing Katniss sent another wave of guilt and pain surging through him, but Gale offered her a smile in return, though it didn't reach his eyes.
Katniss swiftly stood of from the grimy station bench she was sitting on, as he walked towards her. The moment he reached her, Katniss gave him a hearty hug, and he returned it, happy to be able to hold his best friend in his arms again. He gently stroked her hair with his free hand as he sighed. "Come on," she said as she gently ended the hug, "it'll be dinner time soon, you can stay with us if you like." She smiled sweetly and softly took his arm, leading him out of the station. They walked in silence up to Victor's Village, and on the way Gale contemplated the amendments that had been made over the years to the once destroyed District.
As they neared the white fence of the glorious and welcoming house, the knot in Gale's stomach tightened, until he could bear it no more. "Katniss," he spoke in a whisper as he stopped in his tracks. "You have no idea how much I've missed you." He stared into her eyes, a tortured expression on his face, knowing the conversation he had been avoiding for so long, the reason why he had fled to District 2, was about to come out into the open, once and for all.
Katniss sighed and gently took his hand in hers. "I've missed you too Gale." She looked at their hands, tearing her gaze away from his, her eyes now a little less bright. "You left. So suddenly. I didn't know what to do, Gale. For months I felt so alone, so distant from everything I had been. And she…" Her voice was barely a murmur as it broke, and he held to every one of her words, his heart clenched and the knot in his gut only growing tighter as the silence crept on them, and they just stood there, staring blankly at their intertwined hands.
"I never even dreamt that anything like that could happen, Katniss. I need you to know that." Gale took in a breath before continuing, and he raised his eyes to look at her again. "I know you probably blame me, and I know I can't change that, but it's been killing me, Katniss, it's been killing me. Not knowing, not knowing what went on in your mind, what you felt about it, what you thought about me."
A tear was trickling down her cheek, and Gale gently brushed it off with his thumb. When she spoke her voice was hoarse, and it came out heavily as the memories brushed past in her mind. "I broke down, everything lost it's sense, lost it's beauty. It was so long until I could finally manage a word, or to leave the house. The day I felt strong enough to get back into the woods past the fence I saw it. It was sitting by the lake, all the beauty that had been pulled away from my world for so many months just stood there, in this pure white form, shining in the light. A primrose, glistening by the water. And I knew. I had to break out of it, I had to get back to life, she would have wanted me to be happy."
A faint smile crossed her lips, and she let go of Gale's hand to wipe the remaining water droplets from her eyes. He sighed and stroked her face. "I'm glad to hear it. He makes you happy right? Peeta, I always knew he was made for you, and you for him. The two of you are just perfect together."
"He does, yes. Peeta, he's the dandelion in the spring that I needed, the peace that I couldn't find. You and I, we're fire, there's too much destruction in us, too much rage, loss and hatred. He gives me the promise that all can be well again, that we can go on. It's what I need to survive, you said it once yourself." Her eyes had brightened up again, and she seemed strong. So much stronger than I am, Gale thought as he looked at her in admiration. He'd forgotten how much he cared for her.
"Katniss…" He hesitated, not knowing how to set out the words. This was the first time he'd talked to anyone about Madge, and he didn't know how to do it. The heaviness in his chest, the torment of the memories, of the loss, of the life he could have had with her and of which he had been robbed by the Capitol. Even if the rebellion had taken the culprits down, all of this was something he would never get back. She would never come back to him. He'd never hold her in his arms, the scent of sweet strawberries in her golden locks would never be there again to make him feel safe. He was alone. And that was the truth he had been hiding away from in District 2. The words got choked in his throat and he was unable to suppress a whimper of despair from escaping him.
Katniss looked at him with a troubled expression on her face as she saw the pain in Gale's grey, lost eyes. A pain she knew too well herself. Once he had recovered enough composure to regain speech, he muttered "I don't know how to do it, Katniss. How would you survive, if we hadn't been able to get Peeta back, if he had died there, or if he'd never gotten over the hi-jacking?"
Tears were starting to built up in his eyes now, and he looked more vulnerable and weak than Katniss could ever remember seeing him, not even when he lay in the kitchen table, his back scored and bloody from the whipping. The confusion registered on her face, as she tried to figure out what was going on inside his head, or rather, who was invading his memories, his dreams, just as Peeta had once lurked before in hers.
"I couldn't save her, Katniss, and now it's too late. She's gone forever," he choked as the tears started streaming down his face, but he didn't stop talking, the pain alive in every one of his words. "I- I loved her Katniss. I still do. And now they've taken her from me, and I'm empty, there's nothing to fight for, nothing to live for. Madge is gone, and I need her. I need to hold her, to feel safe in her arms, to protect her. It's all I had to do, protect her, and I couldn't do it…"
At that moment, he collapsed on his knees, his hands over his teary face, silently crying, mourning, all the moments he had tried to forget now rushing through his mind like a hurricane, and it tore his insides into millions of pieces as he broke down, at Katniss' feet. She was just standing there, her eyes closed, and a single tear rolling drearily down her face, in pain for her friend's hopelessness, and the guilt building up in her stomach for shutting him out for so long.
She knelt, and held him in her arms, rocking him against her with all the gentleness she could find. She sighed, and held him tighter. Because there was nothing else she could do.