JAKE ENGLISH X READER LEMON
(WARNING: MATURE CONTENT AND IGNORANCE)
"I want a banana." You tell a nervous Jake English while the two of you watched a movie together. It was pretty late by now, it seems like forever ago that Jake had invited you over to watch one of his favorites, Avatar. He claims it wasn't meant to be a date, but it was pretty obvious he liked you.
"Uhhh banana what banana." Jake says as his boner begins to rise.
Oh my god Jake, we're four sentences into the story calm the fuck down.
"That's not a banabana." You say as you get up to get your own damn banana. Jake casually stares at your ass as you walk away dramatically towards the kitchen. Do you got da booty? You dooooooo.
A few moments later you come back with a nice peeled banana. It seems Jake has been waiting for you.
You seductively lick your banana as you plop back down next to Jake.
"Whistling sweet dixie out of my bum hole." He whispers.
"The fuck." You respond. Jake. He is so.. Jake.
He just continued watching the movie like it was nobody's business.
You suspiciously eyed Jake's boner for the first time. There it was, out in the open, and Jake is sitting there giving zero fucks.
"Cover that shit." You say, dropping the banana peel on top of his erection to cover it.
Jake blushes, and after few moments of silence, lifts the banana peel to uncover his boner before turning to you and taking your hand. "Maybe I don't want to cover it.." He whispers to you seductively.
"Oh my god Ja-" You began, before being silenced by Jake sloppily pressing his penis peel to your lips.
"Shh.." He leans in, pressing his lips roughly against yours. Your lips mold together like glue. And not like the shitty old glue that doesn't stick. Like the reeeeally super sticky glue.
"Spanking ripsnorter.." He whispers after some time while pulling back for a breath of air.
You blink nervously, a light blush covering your cheeks. Did he just.. kiss you? And did you really just enjoy it?
There was something about his dorkiness that was really adorable. Really sweet. Really perfect.. Were you actually falling for Jake English?
You turn your head to glance at him briefly, only to find him petting his boner to try and make it go away.
You giggle, slowly inching your lips closer to his unsuspecting ear, until the skin of your lips brushed his lobes. "Ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli.."
Jake jumps in surprise. "Hogswallop!"
You smirk at him, winking quickly. "Get the bucket.."
Jake nods nervously, and with a dark blush coating his cheeks, hurries into the kitchen.
You smile at your work. You think Jake deserves the title, "(Name)'s bitch." Just as you were about to call for him, Jake returns to the room with a tupperware bowl.
"I asked for a bucket, not a bowl you dipshit." You tell Jake as he sits back down, placing the bowl between the two of you.
"I know, but I had a dadblasted hard time finding one. I hope this makes up for it.."
You pick up the bowl and inspect it as Jake mumbles to himself. "Golly gee, I'm as dumb as a bag of penny candy.." Finally, you turn towards him and wrap your arms around his waist. "No you're not." You begin, "I think you're amazing.."
Jake's face immediately turns a bright shade of pink. Without another word, he turns to you and begins fiddling with the hem of your shirt. After you nod in approval, he removes your shirt.
"Devilfucking dickens.." He mutters while admiring you in your bra.
You blush lightly, quickly removing Jake's shirt it return.
Oh god he was the least toned person you've ever seen. And you've even seen Eridan.
Jake continues staring at your tits, because that's what you do when you have the opportunity to remove a girl's bra you just stare at them.
Since this was going nowhere, you decided to remove it yourself. He doesn't even flinch as you fumble around while trying to unhook your bra for a while. Good job, Jake. Good job.
You finally unlatch the stupid thing and let your boobs tumble out. You unconsciously stick out your chest to look bigger but Jake was too busy to notice.
"Snappy shitknickers.."
You can never get anywhere with this guy. So your horny little mind convinces you to grab his fucking hands and put them on your boobs.
Jake just kinda sits there, astonished, his eyes never leaving your totally revealed chest.
"JUST DO SOMETHING ALREADY." You command after sitting there awkwardly for a good two minutes.
Jake jumps, but slowly takes a deep breath before groping your breasts. They were just a bit bigger than his hand, an ideal size for Jake. Your nipples rested in the center of his palms, still not completely hard.
The sudden squeeze he gave your breasts was rough and unexpected. You yelped, and he laughed like a schoolgirl and completely ruined whatever that moment was.
Okay you were already bored. You nonchalantly reach out and touch his dick.
Grab his dick it's your bitch.
"Gadzooks.."
You unzip Jake's pants, slip them off his waist, and throw them across the room. No going back now Jake.
You swear his dick grew like 5 inches in the past few minutes that thing is flying.
Surprisingly, Jake takes the wheel and does something for a change. He reaches over and pulls your skirt down to yours ankles, where you quickly kick it off.
He climbs on top of you and straddles your waist, his hand trailing down your body and to your panties. Being a bit wet, you blush as his fingers reach the damp area of your panties.
"Lovely ladys whistlemaker.."
Your blush disappears because Jake went from sexy seme to ignorant doof in one line.
Still, he strokes you through your panties gently and gracefully. You shudder with delight, surprisingly he wasn't too bad at this part.
As good as he was, you're an impatient little fuck and wanted this to move along.
You brushed his hand away with a single motion, though he didn't seem to mind much. He watched in astonishment as you slide off your panties, revealing the dark abyss known as "the female vag."
"Jesus christofer kringlefu-"
"Oh my god, shut up!" You exclaim.
Just as he opens his mouth to speak yet again, you forcefully press your lips to his to shut him up.
By this time you just decided to rip off his boxers without his consent, not like you really cared much anyways.
Jake began rubbing his dick against your female vag. Or at least he tried.
Since his eyes were closed into your kiss, he had to do a bit of feeling around until he located your sugar sack.
It was awkward and you just felt like slapping him but y'know whatever.
You rubbed against him, urging him on. Slowly, slowly, he made his way inside of you.
Pulling out of the kiss, he focused on trying to thrust into you.
After a few tries, he finally began to pound at a steady rate. Gradually getting faster, and faster.
Jake moaned before you did. He was going so fast already, and that little shit was about to fucking cum wasn't he.
"Not yet.." You mumbled.
He just nodded a bit and continued his thrusts, gaining speed quickly.
You moaned loudly. He started thrusting harder.. And much, much faster.. You couldn't take it anymore.
"Jake.. I'm.. I'm.."
"Me too.."
"Cinematic humdingers!"
"Cheese and fucking crackers!"
"Spurious hijinks!"
"Boorish cur!"
"Dadblasted!"
"Boondoggle!"
Jake grabs the tupperware and you two do the thing and fill this sweet innocent bowl of tupperware with y'know.
Jake collapses on top of you, panting heavily. His face was buried into your chest, and you began to stroke his hair.
You were extremely tired. But you were expecting this since it wasn't your first time you little slut you.
Jake looks up at you, his dark brown hair messy with random strands across his face. Beads of sweat were formed above his brow, and you couldn't help but smile. He looked somewhat.. cute.
Jake gulps nervously. He opened his mouth slightly, then closed it several times before any actual words came out.
"(Name) I.. I.. I think I love you.." He said, genuine love in his tone.
"Oh Jake.. I.. I think I.."
You wake up from this crazy fucking dream you just had.
You will never know how you feel about Jake. Ever.
The end.