Throne Room Scene
CAST:
Zeus:
Poseidon:
Hades:
Hera:
Athena:
Aphrodite:
Artemis:
Demeter:
Apollo:
Dionysus:
Hephaestus:
Ares:
Hermes:
Odysseus:
Llama 1:
Llama 2:
Llama 3:
SCRIPT:
Lights up on Olympus. All gods are present. Odysseus is sneaking around in the back of the room. Llamas are offstage.
Zeus: Are we all here to start the commencing of the meeting?
Hermes: Yes, Zeus.
Zeus: All righty, then! Let's start with the issues. I am aware that Poseidon—
Poseidon: [raging] SOMEBODY STOLE MY TEDDY BEAR!
All gods and goddesses either gawk of break out in laughter.
Demeter: Poseidon, don't you think you're a little old for teddy bears?
Poseidon: Odysseus stole it! It must've been him!
Athena: Poseidon, calm down! It's not like the world's about to—
Poseidon: But the world IS just about ending!
Dionysus: Give it a break!
Ares: Yeah, before I pummel you!
Apollo: You guys are SO overreacting!
Hephaestus: We have more important issues to discuss here!
Demeter: Yeah, like gardening! Mortals hate gardening! I love gardening!
Artemis: And the fact that nobody knows how to shoot a bow these days!
Aphrodite: Psh. Why would somebody want to shoot a bow, anyway? I think it's a problem—
Zeus: [booming] SILENCE!
Everyone quiets down.
Zeus: As we were saying, Poseidon had lost his… ahem… teddy bear.
At this point we see Odysseus in the back, clearly holding up the teddy bear behind Poseidon's head.
Poseidon: And Odysseus stole it!
Odysseus: Looking for this? [Waggles teddy bear in Poseidon's face.]
Poseidon: AAARRRRRGGGHHHH!
A huge battle scene then erupts between Odysseus and Poseidon. Lights go crazy, along with everyone else. The entire stage breaks out into screaming and strobe lights. Poseidon and Odysseus in a single spotlight in the center of the stage. They duel, and Poseidon has his trident at Odysseus's throat. Suddenly, Athena jumps in between them.
Athena: Uncle, what are you doing?
Poseidon: Getting my teddy bear back!
Poseidon grabs teddy bear from Odysseus and hugs it.
Demeter: [Walks into spotlight.] Well, I think that was enough drama.
Apollo: Bring in the llamas!
Lights return to normal. Enter Llama 1, Llama 2, and Llama 3
Llama 1: It is a pleasure to meet you, great Odysseus.
Odysseus: Why, thank you.
Llama 2: We will give gifts to you, great Odysseus.
Odysseus: Thanks!
Llama 3: We are very sad, great Odysseus.
Odysseus: Pleasure to… wait, what?
Llama 1: Our head llama…
Llama 2: He died of thumb cancer about three weeks back…
Llama 3: If only the great Odysseus could choose the next head llama…
Odysseus: Ok! I'll choose the next head llama!
Llama 1: Pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me!
All llamas say things like this. Llama 1 jumps up and down. Her face turns red. Odysseus chooses. Llama 2 cheers.
Llama 2: Yes! Now I am the supreme ruler of all the llamas!
Other llamas bow down to her and run offstage. They return with gifts for Odysseus.
Odysseus: Thanks for the gifts!
Exit Odysseus and llamas. Gods all go back to their regular places on Olympus.