What is a monster? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a monster is a "large, ugly, and frightening imaginary creature". They were the ones that you had your parents check under the bed for. They were the ones who scratched at your windows at night, and flooded your dreams in darkness. They were the ones no one believed in but you.
No, that wasn't Kirk. He wasn't a figment of someone's imagination, although sometimes he wished he was, he wasn't. He was very much alive.
Next definition: "An inhumanly cruel or wicked person". Bullseye.
"You're thinking again." Kirk was momentarily drawn away from his thoughts when he felt a strong set of teeth sink into the crook of his neck. He hissed.
"And you think only of yourself." Kirk bit back, but was only met with a far too amused grin, or at least that's what those lips felt like pressed against his cool skin.
Third definition: "A rude or badly-behaved person, typically a child".
Yes, for when those blue eyes finally met his, Kirk was looking at a child – a very big child.
"It would be nice if my partner thought of me too while doing this."
Strong fingers came to outline the bones of Kirk's ribs. They were aligned like piano keys, and when he caressed them, the sound Kirk made was just as sweet.
"There we go." Hernan smirked, "There you are."
He paid little heed to the fangs Kirk bared at him like a beast, a wild animal. The only thing that stopped Hernan from drawing such a connection was the way Kirk's heart thudded – pounded beneath his fingertips.
It was so alive, so strong despite the weight Kirk burdened it with. All the troubles, the pain, the doubt, and yet the heart still beat against its constricting cage of bones with hope, and pounded even fiercer when Hernan touched it.
'Yes,' Hernan thought, 'beat for me. Always for me, and no one else.'
Heated hands continued to scorch their way across Kirk's contrasting cold body while Kirk could only think about all the blood that stained those hands.
How could hands that had done terrible things, very terrible things in the past feel so right when they caressed his body? How did he not cringe or shy away from them in disgust? Hands that have crushed a man's skull, ripped bodies in two, could now only curl around Kirk's slender hips with the utmost care.
Lies.
Kirk wanted to tell himself, and yet no matter how many times his mind told him so, his heart never seemed to listen. Instead he found himself in this position over and over again – falling into bed with this man, this god, this monster. But he himself was a monster too, so what was this thing they shared as two monsters?
Kirk suddenly hissed. Pale hands scrambled for purchase around Hernan's arms that were on either side of him like pillars of strength. As he grew used to the feeling of Hernan inside him, those hands glided up burning skin until his fingers fanned across tanned shoulders to hold Hernan closer to him, always closer.
"Eres bello." Hernan whispered above Kirk which encouraged him to open his eyes. Kirk was expecting to see that arrogant smirk plastered over the god's features but what he saw… he couldn't quite place his finger on it. However, before he could dwell on the matter further, Hernan began to move, and Kirk followed. Kirk always followed. Ever since that night on the docks, Kirk has been by Hernan's side for reasons even he couldn't always define…
What was it called? Loyalty? Devotion?
Fourth definition: "A thing of extraordinary or daunting size".
Yes, whatever he felt was deep as it was great – it was monstrous, but if he was a monster then it was only natural that he'd feel like one too.
"Hold onto me, bello." Hernan ordered, and Kirk did.
*You're beautiful in Spanish (used to address a male)
A/N: So this fic is more than a year old, but I can't look at it anymore so here you go! I'm sorry for it's… I'm not even sure. I'm just not 100% on board with it, but I never am for any of my writings so…
Nonetheless, the definitions in this fic are actually from the online English Oxford Dictionary, because I was looking for the definition of "Monster" for my SBB fic (way back when), and this small ficlet was born.
As always, thanks for reading, and take care!