Disclaimer: Disclaimed. (Is this really even necessary? I wonder...)
Pairing: Cameron/House
"...she needs something with a little more edge and a little more pain..." - Whiskey Girl, Toby Keith
She needed him because he was everything she wasn't; he was strong where she was weak, he was brave where she was timid and meak, he was smart and brilliant where she was completely oblivious. He was decisive and cruel and angry and bitter and horrible and awful and an absolute jerk and she was in love with him.
She had tried to forget about him. Throwing herself into her work, she went over every detail of papers. She volunteered on weekends to work in pediatrics or oncology or anywhere else that was a little short-handed because if she was focusing on someone else's problems, she forgot about her own. She figured she should either stop volunteering or jump him, however, the morning she heard a familiar squeak thump squeak thump squeak thump, lost all of her concentration, and very nearly cut off a young girl's finger.
When asked about it, she told everyone she had seen a mouse.
She tried dating other people, but none of them seemed to work out. Trenton, well, he was nice. He had paid for her dinner and helped her into her chair. And then he tried to pull her out of the chair and under the table. She didn't even stay for desert.
Matt was tall and handsome, but she knew he wouldn't make it past the first date. He kept staring off over her shoulder and winking at everyone that passed him- be it male or female. She had actually thought, by the seventh or eighth time he had winked, that it might be a medical condition, and she had considered giving him an appointment to drop by the clinic.
She didn't call him again.
Then there was Brian. Nice, smart, sweet, dependable- he lasted beyond the first date. He actually lasted until sometime around Christmas, when they went to a party and she got a little tipsy. She called him Greg, said she loved his blue eyes (they were actually brown), and began questioning him about his cane (or lack thereof). He left her two weeks later.
She couldn't understand why none of her relationships were working. They weren't him, they'll never be him, and you can't love anyone else, she answers herself on those long, lonely nights when sleep just won't come, and her face matches the window pane with the rivers of rain water cascading down it.
It's on those nights that she sees his face in her head, and hears the rhythmic squeak thump squeak thump squeak thump pounding in her ears and she knows, she knows that she needs him and he completes her and that she loves him with all her heart, because she needs someone who can understand pain and knows what it's like, and doesn't pity her and won't pity her because she hates pity. She needs someone who's unique and strange and wonderful and not normal, someone completely opposite herself.
She needs someone hardened and rough and amazing, everything that she considers herself not to be, because she yearns to have someone who knows her faults and failures and who will correct them just by being with her.
She needed him then, and she needs him now, and she figures she's screwed because she'll always need him, just like he'll most probably always need his Vicoden or his cane.
He loves her too, and that's all she needs.
-:-
This is probably kind of hard to follow, but hopefully not too hard. It's kind of jumpy, I think, but I hope everyone likes it. The woman could actually be anybody, I suppose, but in my mind it was Cameron. Also, I have no one to pre-read this, and I also have no spellcheck/grammar check, so please excuse some mistakes. If it really bothers you, however, tell me in a review, and I'll (possibly) change it.
Enjoy!