Title: Forever Yours
Author: Leanne Stewart
Summary: Rewrite of Season 6 Episode 8 'Los Fantasmas"
Pairings: Jax & Tara
Rating R
Genres: Romance
Published: Dec,30/2013
Chapters:1
Authors notes: Well I haven't been able to write since Tara got killed in the finale and I was able to do some today. Since we know she will never be back, atleast we can still have these two together in fan-fiction. Hope you all enjoy it and what you have been waiting for.
Chapter One
"Babe..." He swallowed hard, "Please let me back in." Jax whispered, tears filling his eyes.
Tara looked down at Thomas before looking back towards Jax, tears falling down her cheeks. Her heart broke at his plea to her and she hesitated a moment before walking towards him. She bent down, reaching for his hand, her eyes never leaving his. She could see the regret and pain in his eyes, how lost he really was. They had grown so far apart these last few months and her heart ached. Ever since she offered to help the club with Otto, everything had turned to shit. The death of the nurse, her going to jail. It had pushed them further apart, deeper into the darkness surrounding her...engulfing her.
Her conversation with Bobby entered her mind and she closed her eyes.
Don't give up on him. Jax is someone who needs to be with someone. Always been that guy. We're up against it here. I honestly don't know if we're gonna make it. But, he ain't got a chance without you.
Could they really get past everything they had done to each other. Could he really forgive her for what she had done. What she was going to do?
"Please don't give up on me, Tara. On us."
She could see the love that they once had. His words genuine and sincere and guilt filled her heart. She knew deep down that he was really trying, but with his psychotic mother and the bullshit conviction of conspiracy to murder. She couldn't risk herself going to jail and the boys going to Gemma or even... Jax.
Tara had felt bad even thinking about how worried she would be if she did go to jail and Jax had full custody. She knew Jax loved the boys more than anything and that he would do anything for them. But, because of the constant attention of the club she knew the boys would be in Gemma's care and she would never let that happen. No. Gemma would never get custody of her boys.
"Will you put Abel to bed and I will get Thomas ready for bed." She paused, her hand resting on his knee. "Do you have any club business? Maybe you could stay in tonight?"
Jax watched her closely, ever since she got out of jail she had been different. She had become cold to him, avoiding him whenever she could, never telling him she loved him. He knew that it had been his fault. The distance between them it was all because of the club...his club. He hadn't remembered the last time he had a night with just Tara and his boys. He had been a lousy husband and father.
Jax's fingers brushed against Tara's hand on his leg and his other hand reached up for her face. "I'm not going anywhere tonight."
It had been about fifteen minutes since Jax put Abel to bed, he had returned to the kitchen only to find it empty. He headed to the fridge, opening it up and grabbing two beers. He decided to wait for his wife in the living room, he placed the beers on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. He reached for his beer and took a big swig.
"Abel asleep?" Tara asked startling Jax out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, fell asleep right away, after I made sure there was no monster under his bed, or his closet."
"Yeah I usually have to lay with him or he comes to our bed. Started a few weeks ago. He says there is something in his room. I think he might be having nightmares. I talked to one of doctor's at St Thomas that I know and he says it's pretty common."
"I'm sorry I am not around as much as I should be. I have been so hell bent on getting the club out of guns, that I'm doing shit that I thought I'd never do. Shit Clay would do." Jax sighed, his blue eyes falling on Tara's, "I'm drowning Tara. I don't know what to do here. Who to trust. Shit— my own wife can't even tell me she loves me. Ever since we got married, you haven't been the same Tara. Do you hate me?"
Tara sighed, her eyes shifting to the beer on the table, she reached for it, taking a swig. "I don't hate you Jax, I could never hate you."
"Do you love me?" He whispered, he moved his body closer to her. "Do you even want to be here?"
Tara swallowed hard, her gaze catching Jax and the tears forming in his eyes. She tried so hard for the last few weeks to be strong, and not let her emotions overcome her. She needed to remember that it wasn't about her and Jax anymore it was about their boys.
"It's not about us anymore Jax. It's about the boys. It has to be about the boys. It's complicated Jax."
"I'm doing this for the boys, for you."
"Jax the way things have been going, they are not going to have a father. The shit that has happened to us these last few months. Hell— these last few years. It isn't getting any better. I don't want to wake up one day and find out you're dead. I can't let the boys go through that. I won't go through that."
"I can't do this without you, Tara."
"I have to leave Charming, Jax. I have to get the boys away from here." Tara stood up quickly, straightening her ruffled shirt, "If you love me and you love our boys. You will let me leave and you will follow me." She lifted her head so she could look him in the eyes.
"I've had a long day, I am tired." Tara glanced at Jax before turning around and heading to the bedroom, their bedroom. She could feel the tears filling her eyes and she brushed them away quickly, she couldn't let Jax see her hurting. She needed to be strong, she couldn't let her feelings for him take over.
God did she ever love him, more than she wanted to admit. He was everything she had ever wanted in life. All she had ever dreamed about. How could she be such a fool into thinking that they would be able to live happily ever after. She knew, since the day her and Jax got together, that they could never get rid of Gemma. Knew deep down that Gemma would do anything to try and break them up, even when she came back to Charming Gemma tried. Telling Wendy that, her, and Jax still had a shot at being a family…but Gemma didn't win. It only had made Jax and her closer.
Then after Gemma's rape and Abel's kidnapping and Jax arrest, her, and Gemma became close. They had started to become a family, a real family. It all changed when Tara found out about Gemma's involvement in JT's death. Gemma had murdered her husband in cold blood and covered it up. But because Tara didn't want to see what would happen to Jax if he found out what his mother had done, she decided to risk her marriage and her one true love.
That bitch had so much control over him.
Tara was startled out of her thoughts as she felt a hand brush down her arm, grabbing her tightly and spinning her around. He held his grip on her arms and leaned in his lips brushing against her left ear, "You're hiding something from me, I can feel it."
She stiffened, and Jax moved his face, so he was staring right in her eyes. His hands slid up her arms, and through her short hair, they stopped at her ears and he pulled her in, bumping their heads together lightly.
"Do you feel that? That pull…that connection? What we have Tara, it's not normal. Not everybody gets to feel this way. I'm in your blood Tara and you're in mine. You're a part of me, you always have been. What you said to me that day in Abel's room that the noise doesn't matter. That we don't know who we are until we're connected to someone else and that we're just better human beings when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. You're were always right Tara. You were never supposed to leave. You have always belonged here."
"Jax—"
"Just tell me Tara, do you still feel that?"
Tara shifted uncomfortably in Jax's grasp, her whole body humming at the feeling of Jax against her.
Fuck, why couldn't she hate him? It would be so much easier to hate him, but she could never hate him. How could, someone so wrong for her, feel so good, taste so good.
Jax watched her cautiously, as he moved his hand down in between them. His fingers brushed against the tight denim, his fingers rested on the outline of her clit. "I will stop if you want me too," He groaned, he couldn't help himself as he pinched her swollen nub gently.
He could feel the warmth of her pussy against his hand and he couldn't help but smile. He knew she still loved him.
"Yes." Tara gasped, "Yes I feel it too. No matter what happens, Jackson. I will always love you."
Jax lips were on hers giving her butterfly kisses all over her face. He picked her up placing her gently on the couch. He looked at her, searching her eyes, they were so sad and so confused. He gently caressed her face with his left hand. Using his right hand, he started to unbutton her shirt exposing her bare skin. Her nipples grew hard at his touch and he noticed. His erection growing harder.
"You're mine Tara. You'll always be mine."
She was wearing a black bra with flowers all over it, it was see through just enough for him to see her, new formed nipples, waiting to be touched. He dipped down taking one into his mouth and she moaned arching towards him, her hands grasping at his broad shoulders.
"Tara we will get through this and when we do, I promise I will give you the life you've always dreamed about."
Tara closed her eyes, she knew that what Jax saying wasn't true. They wouldn't get through this alive. Someone would get hurt. They wouldn't have their happy ever after. But for tonight, for Jax, she would pretend she wasn't planning on divorcing him and leaving Charming for good.
Jax moved back up her body stopping at her lips. He smiled before taking her mouth with his, kissing her passively. He hovered over her, positing himself between her, his hard member resting against her opening.
Tara was amazed at how he was able to strip himself and her, in not even one minute and her heart broke as she could feel everything he was feeling in just that one kiss. She moaned loudly, tears falling down her wet cheeks, "I love you Jackson. Please don't ever forget that."
Jax entered her slowly and moaned, his body humming at the feeling of being inside her, her walls clenched around him and he moved inside her slowly, savouring the feel of her. His lips touched hers and she opened her mouth for him, slipping her tongue against his lips, Jax groaned, slipping deeper inside of her. "I'd die without you." He whispered before crushing his lips to hers, his tongue fighting to find hers.
Tara's heart sank at his words and her nails dug into his back, pulling him deeper inside her. She couldn't let him go. He was hers, he had always been hers, not Gemma's and she was going to make sure of that.
"Love me."
Tbc...