Hey once again. This story is like the other half of Sinful Blessing. Whereas Sinful Blessing was a tragic and angsty approach of Kantarou's underappreciated beauty, this story is the lighter, humorous, crackish side of things.

You don't have to read Sinful Blessing first, though it is recommended to be read. -.

Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: Look up fan fiction in Wikipedia.

WARNING: Shounen-ai! MalexMale pairring. There is no yaoi, meaning hot steamy man sex. Simply because I consider myself still not ready to read all that (though I do some hehe), let alone write it. O.O

Summary: Companion fic to Sinful Blessing. Kantarou is upset that the female population seems keen on ignoring him. Haruka is upset that the male population seems keen on the opposite. Jealousy. Possessiveness. Chaos. Fluff. Two-shot. Harukan.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Saintly Blasphemy

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Poke.

Poke.

"Harukaaaa?"

Poke.

Poke-Poke.

The lump was unresponsive.

Poke.

Another poke.

Poke is really a fun word to say.

More pokes.

"HAAARUKAAA!!"

Poke-Poke-Poke-Poke-Poke-Poke-Po-

"What…?" A low growl finally managed to resound from the previously unresponsive heap of figure on the floor. Gradually and reluctantly, the Tengu used his protesting arms that sorely lacked oxygen from being misused as a pillow to now support his body weight, allowing him to turn and glare at his much too innocent looking master.

It was summer. It was hot. It was sweltering, unbelievingly, scorching hot. Haruka simply wanted to waste away and not perform any tasks that may work him up and definitely make him hotter. Replying to Kantarou would require exactly that. Then again, the pokes were becoming excessively annoying. Was the idiot saying something?

"…-think you're sexy you know that? So I was wondering-"

"What?" He misheard. The heat was getting to him. Rule number one of summer was to not let the heat get to you. It creates funny pictures in your mind. It turns your head, screws it around, and makes you feel high. Somehow, it starts making you want to strip. And apparently, it also messes with your ears and tricks you into thinking you heard your master call you sexy.

The silver-haired exorcist pouted. Cutely. How old was he again? "Harukaa!!" He whined. "I was saying and asking something important and you were ignoring me!!" His ruby eyes, much too large for comfort, started to well up with tears. The much more maturer of the two felt their eyebrows twitch. Damn. He hated tears. They were messy.

The folklorist sniffed and continued. "I was asking you how you do it, you know?" Haruka blinked. His face managed to remain as impassive as ever, as if not really paying much attention to the sniffling childish man in front of him. Though inwardly, he began cursing the heat even more. Since when did Tengus become teachers of human growth and development?

"Didn't you learn about it from…your parents?" he growled out reluctantly, careful to put some stress on the word 'it', not really wanting nore feeling the need to say the actual word out loud.

Kantarou cocked his head to the side, confused. A few seconds passed in that manner. Haruka continued staring at his master, while Kantarou could only blink back a few times until his eyes suddenly widened, and he started giggling so insanely, Haruka wondered if he would choke. "No silly! Not that. How you attract females!! They always think you're sexy -"

'So that's what it was' Haruka thought bitterly, cursing at God's decision to make females. They were the source of his current disruption of a much needed naptime. Why did it have to be Adam and Eve? Why couldn't it just have been...Adam? Needing females for reproduction his ass...he was sure God could've pulled something out to replace the need for those damned females...

"- and Haruka… -another poke-…you always have a bunch of girls chasing after you, so I wanted to know how you do it!" He finished his request with a beam. Leaning in dangerously close, Kantarou simply gave a cheery grin while his eyes were enlarged to...unnatural proportions even a child was hardly capable of. Haruka remained unresponsive, though looking carefully, one could see the anger mark scrunching up on his forehead.

"You woke me up for this?" The oni-kui tengu looked ready to kill. Maybe the eternal name-contract wouldn't be too bad, as long as there were no Kantarou-spirits pestering him with pointless questions as these.

His master nodded fervently. "Onegaishimasu!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Youko was quietly humming an old nursery tune to herself as she went through the dishes. Taking a moment to wipe her brow, she could only catch a flash of silver before a whirlwind of air blew past.

"KAN-CHAAN!! I told you not to run in the house!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Humming to himself, a certain folklorist was skipping quite happily along the streets of Tokyo.

In the end, he wasn't able to squeeze anything out of the Tengu, since the latter simply up and left as he was becoming annoyed by Kantarou's consistent chatter. Still, Kantarou had hatched a better plan:

Observe and learn.

The Tengu was sauntering ways ahead, and Kantarou made no effort to hide his presence. Haruka's eye twitched at being followed, but he was in no mood to outrun his idiotic master in this weather. And he absolutely refused to fly. His wings were black. It was a blazing sun. It's moron's science. Not a good idea.

He sighed and slowed down just as a stand of shiny objects glistened in the sun and caught his eye. Standing thankfully under the meager shade of the stand, he looked through the set of assorted objects. All sparkly.

"A-Ano…" a feeble and timid voice called out. He slowly turned his gaze from the object to the face of a young girl. As Tengu's have past the usual 20/20 vision, it didn't take much for him to notice just how bright red the girl's poor cheeks were.

'Must be the heat…' he thought.

"W-Would you like to buy something? We have a v-variety of goods…" the girl trailed off at the frown that had set in upon Haruka's face. Staring off, she didn't even notice that she was leaning in closer and closer and closer…

…until a bottle of unfortunate Ramune that was set on the corner tipped over. Haruka, with quick reflexes, grabbed the bottle, but not before much of the drink spilled onto his hands and part of his sleeves. Deciding someone simply hated him today, he mentally scowled and outwardly sighed. Preparing himself for an onslaught of apologies, he pretended to be rather preoccupied with the sticky liquid coating his hands.

"G-Gomen nasai!!" She fearfully apologized abruptly, bowing lowly over and over again. She wouldn't stop apologizing and Haruka wished she would just shut up. The girl then started looking around for napkins frantically while mumbling something rather incoherent until a kind and low voice called out to her.

"It's okay."

The girl looked up, cheeks ablaze as she witnessed the sight in front of her. The Tengu was busy lapping up the remains of some Ramune on his hands. His tongue running seductively over the palm of his hands.

The poor girl promptly fainted.

Haruka -inwardly- rolled his eyes smirked.

Meanwhile, Kantarou had been staring at the scene a few feet away from the crowd. His eyes were gaping holes as he took in everything to see. He didn't realize he'd been staring at the Tengu for a good half hour. He still claims it was all part of the learning process when asked. Haruka claims he was simply too handsome to resist. Youko simply rolls her eyes when asked.

"Naruhodo…" he breathed with awe. (So that's how it works/ I see…)

A triumphant smile in place, he mumbled, "Yosh…" and walked up to the closest stall.

Lesson 1 Observed by Ichinomiya Kantarou: Lick yourself.

Grabbing a bottle of Ramune and quickly putting down some change, he set off to shake the bottle repeatedly, all the while smirking. 'Just you wait…Haruka…' After a good half minute of deciding the poor bottle has suffered enough, he proceeded to pop the bottle open.

It was messy.

The crowd around him screamed out and jumped a good ten feet away while the folklorist wrinkled his face in disgust at the liquid spewing out insanely in his hands. Damn, he shook the bottle up too much. Still, the results were clear: soda everywhere. Sticky soda. Kantarou looked around and went up to a stand with a young lady behind it.

"Excuse me, but do you have some napkins I can borrow?" He asked embarrassingly with a chuckle.

She stared at him like a fish.

'Hehe…must be my charms!!' he thought gleefully. The exorcist began licking the back of his hand in the fashion of a cat, running his tongue around in a similar manner as Haruka did. He started down his forearm, as there was soda there as well, and 'cleaned' himself up.

After a good while, he finally gained the courage to look back up - right into and incoming filthy rag that went splat into his face. The woman behind the stand harrumphed satisfied, and proceeded to beat her boyfriend who was busy staring at the previous display. Kantarou did not notice any of this, as he was busy trying to figure out what went wrong, as well as cleaning up the sticky, gross, Ramune soda all over him.

'I wonder what I did wrong?' he pondered disappointedly. Looking around, the young man realized that other women were acting in a similar manner, harrumphing and walking off with their noses in the air and chests full of pride as if they all thought Kantarou received due punishment.

No. Of course he did not notice the bigger scene he had caused. Especially not the twenty some male pairs of lustful eyes now glued on him as he continued his public -albeit unintentional- display of seduction.

Haruka, having his turn to watch, could only feel an onset of twitching in annoyance.

He did his best to glare down every single one of those pairs of eyes that day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ah…this was originally a one-shot…but then I saw the words totaled 5000 and I was like O.o

So I decided to split it up. Don't worry! I already have the other half written and typed, so it will be updated soon. And although I won't say anything such as "I must get 10 reviews for an update" I do hope to reach the goal of 10 reviews for one chapter. Next chappie is longer.

So what'd you think? Please review! Much appreciated. And this is un-betaed, I might go back later and revise it, but for now its like this. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes.

BTW…the title…was on a whim. Initials with S.B., oxymoron. And I had an attachment to the word blasphemy.

Well, thanks for reading this first part! If you haven't read Sinful Blessing, then please do. It's the angsty side of things!