Author's Note - An ATC for the Season 18 episode Kimbro.
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Matt made it back to Dodge long after the town was asleep. Even the Long Branch was dark. He looked up at the windows on the second floor and thought about the woman who he hoped was sleeping peacefully up there.
Truthfully, he'd thought about her all the way home – had pushed Buck on through the late hours – eager to get home. Seeing Kimbro die, and then burying him made his soul wearier than his body.
Matt never bought into the idea of heroes. He'd seen way too many men with way too many flaws. But Adam Kimbro was as close to a hero as one could be to Matt. Everything the man taught him, showed him, instilled in him had never steered him wrong.
But seeing his old friend with Mary in Deerfield had sparked something in Matt. He didn't need to hear their conversation to know what they were saying. He had a flash of he and Kitty one day meeting that same way – seeing her with children, but still looking at him with love and longing. He'd pushed the thought away until later that evening when Kimbro began to talk about the woman who was once his. Matt started to get an uneasy feeling when he'd listened to the man give voice to some of his possible regrets. He tried to reassure Kimbro that he'd still make the same choices if he had to do it all over again, but the man's reply did not relieve the uneasy feeling. In fact, it had made it worse.
After setting Buck up in his stall, Matt went over to the jail, looking longingly at the dark saloon across the street. It was rare for him to come home in the middle of the night. Normally he'd camp and ride in early in the morning. He didn't want to wake Kitty at this late hour, especially since he knew she'd probably gone to bed not long before.
But, he knew there would be no sleep for him tonight. His mind made up, he filled the basin by the mirror and attempted to wash the trail dust off. He then changed his clothes, leaving his dirty ones in a pile under the cot. He'd get to them tomorrow.
After putting his gun belt back on, he left and headed across the darkened street.
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As he reached the top of the stairs, he pulled the well-worn key with the blue ribbon from his pocket. He always carried it with him. She was with him always, and if he died out there, she'd still be with him.
Unlocking the door, he entered the room as quietly as he could, making sure to lock the door behind him. The light of the full moon spilled through the window and illuminated the sleeping woman in the bed. Her hair was down and loose, just the way he liked it. She had her blanket pulled up to her chin to ward off the chill in the air. He smiled as he watched her, her face relaxed in sleep.
Matt did not want to wake her, but the ache for her inside would not abate. He quickly and quietly took off his boots, hat, and gun belt before he lifted the blanket and crawled in carefully beside her. Taking a deep breath, he gathered her into his arms. The ache in him lessened, but did not go away as he thought it would. He pushed it aside and gently kissed the top of her head.
Kitty moaned softly and opened her eyes. "Matt?"
"Were you expecting anyone else?"
"Matt, what are you doing here? What's wrong?" Her voice was tinged with sleep.
"Nothing's wrong, honey. Just go back to sleep."
She looked at him with sleepy eyes. "But…"
"Shhh. Sleep, love." He began to stroke her hair, and it wasn't long before she surrendered to sleep once more.
His mind went again to what Kimbro had said. About paths not taken. About where he might be in ten years. He did tell his old friend the truth. He had thought about it a time or two. But mostly what he envisioned was keeping the badge on until he was felled by a bullet. And Kitty? He'd tried not to envision her future. The one where she finally tired of being just his woman and left him, possibly finding love with someone who could give her the things he could not.
He held her closer and tried to imagine the day she would leave him. He wanted everything for her, but he knew the biggest part of him would go with her. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair, breathing in her sweet scent before sleep finally took him.
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Kitty woke with the sun beaming through the windows. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the bright light of the morning. She was still in Matt's arms, her head tucked under his.
It was rare for him to come home in the middle of the night, and even rarer for him to come to her when he did. She could only guess what had happened out there, and snuggled deeper into his embrace. Kimbro had meant a lot to Matt, and her heart broke for him.
Matt stirred and stretched, his arms still holding her tight as he woke. He nuzzled her hair. "Good morning."
"Good morning," she said, kissing his neck.
They stayed that way for a time, Kitty's worry growing with each minute. Usually when he came to her, he left fairly quickly or just before first light.
"Matt?" Her finger traced the wrinkled collar of his favorite red shirt. "What happened out there?"
He sighed. "I buried him, Kitty. Not a lot more to say."
"I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arm around him and hugged him tight.
He was quiet for a moment, and then, "You know, I think he was ready. His whole life was the badge. And once it was gone, there wasn't much left."
She couldn't help but think of Matt, and what his future would be like. Would he end up like Kimbro, mucking out stalls and cleaning saloons late at night? A shudder went through her at the thought.
He seemed to know what she was thinking, and kissed the top of her head. "That won't happen to me, Kitty. I promise."
She tried and failed to hold back tears. "How do you know that? Do you think he thought he'd end up that way?"
He leaned back to look into her eyes, wet with tears. "I know, because before he died, he made me rethink a few things."
"Like what?"
He reached out and wiped the tears from her face. "I can't remember the last time I told you I loved you. You know that?"
Her breath hitched. "Oh Matt. I know you love me…"
"That's not enough. I do love you, Kitty Russell." He looked at her in wonder, as something dawned on him. "You are the love of my life."
She choked back a sob as her heart soared and leaned in to kiss him. "And you are mine," she whispered against his lips.
"I don't want that to happen to me. To us." He cradled her head against his. "I want to give you all the things you want."
"All I want is you."
Matt nodded. "And you shouldn't have to share me. With anyone or anything."
She leaned back to look at him. "Matt? What are you saying?"
He looked at her, his eyes full of love. "I want to marry you, Kitty. I want to marry you and give you a home and everything that goes with it."
She gasped at his words, her voice failing her. She knew something was up with him, but never expected this.
"I know it seems sudden. But it isn't. We've talked about it, and I've thought about it more than once. But seeing Kimbro talk with the woman he loved, the way they looked at each other, I could see what they had lost. And I can't bear that happening to us. You're here, and I'm not willing to let you go. Unless you don't want to marry up with a beat up old lawman, that is."
Kitty cried harder, leaning in to kiss him again. "I'd love to marry up with a vital, virile lawman."
"I really should add something to that," he said, kissing her again.
"What's that?"
"A beat up old retired lawman."
Her eyes went wide. "Matt! You don't-"
He shushed her with another kiss. "Kitty, I made it very clear that the badge and family do not mix. I still believe that. It's just time I rearranged my priorities."
"Oh, Matt…" She showered his face with kisses, and after a moment, he stilled her.
"Kitty, there is only one thing."
An uncertain look crossed her face, and she swallowed hard. "Okay."
"I'm eligible for a pension in three months. Can you wait that long?"
She nodded. "Of course I can, Cowboy."
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One year later
Matt stroked Kitty's hair, damp with sweat. His finger caught a lone tear as it fell down her cheek.
"He's perfect," she whispered, looking at the newborn snuggled in her arms.
"You did so good, Kit."
She tore her eyes from the baby to look at her husband. "I love you."
He grinned, something he did a lot more of in the past year. "I love you too, honey." He turned his attention to the baby. "What are we going to call him?"
Kitty looked at the baby, big blue eyes and hair as dark as his father's. There was really only one name that fit. "Adam."
Matt was silent for a time, running his finger up and down his son's tiny arm.
She finally looked up at him, surprised to see his eyes filled with tears. "What do you think?"
He nodded, the motion causing a tear to slip from his eye. "It's perfect, Kitty."
She smiled, leaning in to kiss him. Her thoughts turned to Adam Kimbro, and she said a silent prayer of thanks for the guidance the man had given Matt. Kimbro had led by example, his own failures and heartbreak a warning to his former apprentice. In the end, he had given Matt one final lesson.
Baby Adam stirred in her arms, his tiny fingers flexing.
She knew without a doubt that Kimbro's final lesson was the most valuable of all.