Title: The Book of Marauders

Rating: K

Genre: Humor

Setting: First chapter is summer of OOTP, everything else is Marauder era.

Ships: None

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: This is a series of short ficlets about the various kinds of trouble the Marauders got into at Hogwarts. They will mostly be Sirius or James doing the troublemaking, with Remus thrown in every so often. Peter probably won't be in here much, not so much because I hate him, but because he's just not all that interesting. I don't think any of them will have a specific year, so just imagine it whenever you want it to be. Everything after chapter 1 is based on The Simpsons chalkboard gag. Please enjoy and don't forget to review!

"So there the four of us were, on the Quidditch field, wearing nothing but kilts and waving claymores around!" Sirius had to stop a minute and catch his breath because he was laughing too hard. "Then we started charging at the entire Slytherin population of the school and chased half of them into the Lake!" The room erupted in laughter as Sirius finished his story. Harry, the Weasleys, Hermione and a few Order members were gathered in the kitchen of Order Headquarters, listening as Sirius and Remus regaled them with tales of the many (many, many...) times they got into trouble during their Hogwarts days.

Remus, who was convulsing with laughter at the memories of his Hogwarts years, caught his breath long enough to say, "Hey Padfoot, tell them about the time we dressed like pirates and started a mutiny in Potions class."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Oh yeah! Okay, so one day..." Fred and George gazed admiringly at Remus and Sirius, the former professor and escaped convict who they only recently realized were two of their heroes. They honestly hadn't thought Remus had it in him to be such a troublemaker, but their already great amounts of respect for him increased tenfold when they discovered that he was the one and only Moony of Moony, Padfoot and Prongs (Wormtail had, of course, been kicked out).

The crowd laughed hysterically as Sirius finished another story. There was only one person who didn't seem to be enjoying storytime with Remus and Sirius: Molly Weasley. She scowled continuously as her children (and good-as children) laughed at Sirius and Remus' immature behavior. She scowled extra hard when she saw how appreciative of it Fred and George were. 'That's just what they need,' she thought, 'more inspiration.' Eventually she grew so frustrated that she spoke up. "I hardly think you two are setting a good example for the children. You should not be endorsing such behavior!"

"I have to agree," said McGonagall, clearly trying to hold back laughter. "Especially with those two here." She motioned to Fred and George.

"Oh, come on, Minerva," said Remus. "You would have expelled us in first year if you didn't think we were funny!"

McGonagall blushed. "True, but still..." she took a sip of wine to hide her grin.

The tales of pranks continued long into the night, but eventually everyone drifted out of the kitchen and off to bed until only Sirius and Remus were left in the kitchen, reminiscing quietly.

"God, I miss those days," said Sirius, the nostalgia evident in his voice.

"I know, Pads. Me too." He sighed and looked down into his tea. After a few moments of silence, Sirius let out a soft laugh.

"At least we have Fred and George to carry on the legacy. I couldn't be more proud of those two." He let out a mock sniffle and mimed a tear rolling down his face.

Remus laughed, but then something hit him. (Not literally, of course.) "Sirius," he said, "I have an idea."

"Does it involve wreaking havoc?"

Remus grinned mischievously and led Sirius out of the kitchen.

The next morning, the collective family gathered at the kitchen table again for breakfast. It was a normal morning except for the fact that every so often Sirius and Remus would glance at each other and giggle madly. When asked if everything was okay, they'd only nod and giggle some more.

"I knew it," whispered Ginny to the Trio. "I knew there was something going on between them."

"Ginny!" replied Harry, aghast. "That's my godfather you're talking about!"

"What?! Really, Harry, look at them!" They all watched Sirius and Remus whispering to each other conspiratorially and laughing. Harry had to admit, they were awfully, well, close.

Much to the relief of everyone, there was to be no cleaning that day. Arthur, of course, had to go to work and Molly had Order business to attend to, leaving the Weasley kids, Harry and Hermione with Remus and Sirius. Once the Weasley parents had left the house, Sirius and Remus jumped up from their chairs and Sirius said with a mad grin, "Stay there, we'll be right back!" They ran out of the room and the kids looked at each other oddly.

"Right back after a quick shag," muttered Ginny. Harry glared at her.

After a few minutes, Sirius and Remus ran back into the kitchen. Remus was holding a large leatherbound book in his hands.

"This is technically for you two," Remus nodded to Fred and George.

"But we hope you'll all get some use out of it," said Sirius. Remus set the book down in front of the twins and everyone leaned over to read the embossed writing on the cover: The Book of Marauders.

"What's this?" asked George.

"This," said Sirius, "is the complete collection of everything we did to get into trouble at Hogwarts. Once we realized that we had a particular talent for troublemaking, we started keeping track in hopes that one day we could inspire a new generation of pranksters."

The twins opened the book and it was as if a light shined down from heaven into the dark kitchen. The first page read in a similar script as that on the Marauders' Map:

Messers. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs
are proud to present
The Book of Marauders:
A collection of pranks, gags, and other forms of troublemaking.
Done for fun, recorded for posterity.

They looked up at Remus and Sirius, at a loss for a proper way to say thank you. The two Marauders only grinned at each other.

"Enjoy!" said Remus. They left the room and everyone's attention returned to the book. Fred turned the page and began reading...

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! This will probably be the longest chapter, everything else will be pretty quick. Next chapter up soon!