Disclaimer: I do not own Sesame Street, although I has occasionally sponsored it.
Author's note: If you don't recognize the sketch this vignette is based on, it's on Youtube under the title "Grover loves his map". Assuming it hasn't been hounded off the Internet by lawyers, that is.
"Can you believe it?" Fred Johnson demanded of his wife. "That stupid waiter made me miss my plane just so he could tell me how much he loved his map. 'I know where the rivers are, I know where the mountains are…' Well, phooey on his rivers, and his mountains, and everything else on his map!"
"Yes, dear," said Mrs. Johnson wearily.
"All I wanted was a fried-egg sandwich!" said Mr. Johnson. "Something that any normal waiter could have gotten in two minutes – but no, it had to be that waiter. The bane of my existence…"
Mrs. Johnson's lip curled slightly with impatience. "Why, yes, Fred, I had a perfectly lovely day," she said. "Thank you for asking."
Mr. Johnson blinked. "What?"
"Fred," said his wife, "ever since you walked through the front door forty-five minutes ago, you've done nothing but complain about this waiter at Charlie's. Now, I understand that you're upset about missing your flight to South America, but maybe it's time that you started thinking about something else."
Mr. Johnson looked at her for a long moment, then sighed. "Oh, well, I suppose so," he said. "Let's see… is there anything good on television right now?"
"I don't know," said Mrs. Johnson. "Let's see."
She went over to the television and turned it on, and a fuzzy image of the main SSN reporter, wearing a somber expression on his long green face, filled the screen. "Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here with a late-breaking exclusive," he said. "Sesame Airlines Flight 123, bound for South America, crashed in the Gulf of Mexico shortly after takeoff."
The Johnsons started, and stared at each other, wide-eyed.
"Preliminary reports are inconclusive," said Kermit, "and Naval and Coast Guard operatives are still searching, but there appear to be no survivors. Sesame Street News extends its condolences to the families of the victims, and…"
Mrs. Johnson switched off the screen and turned to her husband. "Well," she said. "That puts a different face on things, doesn't it?"
For a number of seconds, Mr. Johnson did not move. Then, slowly, as though every step was physically painful to him, he walked over to the telephone and dialed a number.
"Hello?" he said. "Is this Charlie's Restaurant?… Yes, thank you. I need to…" He took a deep breath. "I need to apologize to one of your waiters."