Elisa picked the prompt, "incalculable." I don't own NCIS.
His love for her was incalculable. Everything he did, he did for her. He loved her and she loved him.
It had taken him a long time to love her though. He loved Kate, albeit like a sister, and she was killed. He looked up to Jenny and she was killed as well. So, it took him a long time to admit his feelings for her and tell her that he loved her.
When he did tell her though, everything fell into place. It wasn't exactly a smooth ride during their relationship, but it was most definitely a memorable one. There were many happy moments; they were like children together, always teasing each other and joking around. But then there were the tougher moments that he didn't think they would be able to get out of.
They got out of the harder, more trying, parts of their relationship and went back to smooth sailing. Everything had been going perfectly fine.
Then it all changed. They were working on another case when they were sent to go pick up the suspect. When they got to the suspect's apartment, things quickly got out of hand. Shots were fired from both the suspect's gun and the guns of the agents.
He didn't know how it happened. After the shots finally stopped, she was laying there on the ground, bleeding. The ambulance didn't make it in time.
He blamed himself. Her death was his breaking point. After she died, he didn't know what to do. Everything was a blur to him and he just couldn't focus on his work. It just wasn't the same without her.
He had lost all three of them, but losing her hurt the most. He didn't know how he was going cope without her. He didn't think he could cope without her. He had said that he would do anything for her, he would protect her no matter what, and he had failed.
The fact that he failed ate him from the inside out. It took him a long time to deal with the fact that she wasn't coming back and it was mostly his fault.
It was about six months of mourning and guilt before he decided that something had to be done. He had to move on. While what he had with her was the best thing he had ever had, he had to move on. He had to let go.
That was exactly what he was going to do too. He just had to take it one day at a time.