Hi, I'm new here. Any feedback is appreciated. I used to do this kind of stuff in my spare-time. I've completed one fan-fiction and worked on three. This one being my

third. Oh, by the way if this is considered chat/script format I apologize. THis is the only way I write my fanfics. I make the characters actions and dialogue as clear as

possible.

KEY italicized is actions, parenthesis is characters thoughts.

Chapter 1- Pipe Cleaner

Hyrule Castle, home of Zelda and Link. Who having now banished the evil Lord Ganondorf forever have

decided to settle down. Link is currently away on a mission delivering hot spring water for the Gorons.

Zelda is accompanied by Mario, who is there on call to fix a leak.

Mario: Oh no.

Zelda: what is it? Is something wrong?

Mario: Well, you've definitely got leaky pipes

Zelda: Is that bad?

Mario: (How dense can she be ?) slides out from under sink Oh, not at all. The castle is going to be filled with water, so as long as you buy a jet ski everything should be fine.

Zelda: Phew! That's a relief.

Mario: (Oh my god, this is too easy) Of course, now that the castle is going to be a water habitat, you're going to have all sorts of water creatures immigrating here. Like the Blooper...

Zelda: Blooper...scared what's that?

Mario: Oh, they're horrible, disgusting creatures that have sharp teeth and big, bulbous heads. I hear that once they settle into an environment they'll squirt ink in your eyes, and when you aren't looking they will steal your cell phone and run up your minutes.

Zelda: gripped with fear That...that's awful!

Mario: They are very social creatures.

Zelda scared, but also wanting attention grabs Mario by the waist

Mario: Hey! Whoa...it's ok.I'm just kidding.

Zelda: About the bloopers?

Mario: what? No, that's all true. I'm talking about your pipes.

Zelda: ...huh?

Mario: sighs I was only joking. I can easily fix your pipes. It's just a loose spring valve, all I have to do is...

Zelda: That's sexy

Mario: tighten the valve and...I'm sorry did you just say?

Zelda: You heard me. I want your Italian sausage...

Mario: (INAPPROPRIATE!) I'm sorry lady, but I'm a married man...well, not really married we have a sort of complicated relationship...she leaves me cake.

Zelda: That's ok, I'm very discreet.

Mario: Look, don't get the wrong idea or nothing. You are VERY sexy, and I would love to clean your pipes...uhgh I mean fix your pipes. But that's as far as I'll go, this is a business call.

Zelda: Business and...pleasure? grabs Mario's thigh

Mario: (VERY INAPPROPRIATE!!) What if your husband saw this!

Zelda: Oh forget about him! Our relationship isn't that good anyway.

Mario: what, why?

Zelda: Well, we never talk...in fact he's never said a word to me.

Mario: Well I'm sure he...

Zelda: Do you know how hard that is for me?! I'm a kindred spirit, I have to yell when I'm making love! Here let me show you.

Mario: heading towards door Ok, I have to leave now.

Zelda: shrieks WAIT!!...I'm sorry, you're right. This is completely inappropriate. Please just, take a seat. I'll make it up to you...I know! I'll go and fetch you some of my famous homemade cookies.

Mario: I think I'm going to..

Zelda: Sit !

Mario takes a seat as Zelda leaves the room

Mario: momma mia, what have I gotten myself into this time?

He waits for zelda, more and more time passes. Mario becomes bored and starts singing under his breath

Mario: One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't

belong...

Zelda is heard moaning in the other room

Mario: speeding up Can you tell me which thing is not like the other by the time I finish my song.

Mario still sitting,waiting

Mario: cookies huh? Imagines Zelda in lengire I hope they're chocolate chip.

Zelda moans again

Mario: Well, that's my cue!

He gets up to leave when Zelda emmerges dressed as Shiek holding her whip

Mario: Son of a Tanooki!

Shiek: It's playtime big boy. Wanta taste of Din's fire!? Shiek cracks whip

Mario: Momma Mia !! Runs like hell, leaving Hyrule castle

Shiek: Oh, they always run! Turns back into Zelda sits down and turns on t.v. She flips it to the home shopping network

Tom Nook: selling fishing supplies As you can see ladies and gentlemen, we have an excellent assortment of rods available today.

Zelda :Yes, talk dirty to me !

--

to be continued...

Thank you for reading the first chapter. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I promise a very thrilling adventure to come. If you are worried about the sexual overtones,

don't worry they only dominate Zelda's character. Who isn't a huge character in the overall arc of my story.