Touhou - Bad Apple (English Vocals by Cristina Vee)
Space. The Final Frontier. It's filled to the brim with life and beauty in the form of swirling blues, greens, yellows, purples, and whites. No mortal being, in the history of the universe, has ever found a single place to see it all, let alone live long enough to at least try. The same could be said for an orange juice-covered humanoid in a large bubble, with the galaxies orbiting around her as if she was a baby watching a crib mobile. As she walked in the void between galaxies, her teeth were grinding, and her fists clenched so tight that her knuckles were white under her mocking gloves. If she was any less mature, she would have been stomping like a pouty toddler. But she had other things more troubling than her only air supply bursting. From the distance, she could hear the sound of sirens, cannons, gunfire, and blood-curling screams.
It was hardly noticeable at first. In fact, she didn't even know it was there until she was no longer complaining about starting over. While she would have gone out of curiosity to check it out, her mood was too sour to even have interest in it. Or perhaps it was – no. It was a sour mood, nothing more. But how could she explain him? Every time that wandering dork asked about her intentions, the noise grew slightly louder. It wasn't until he analyzed her like a murder mystery that it came full force. After that, the sound became worse by the minute. As of now, it had reached the point that it caused her head to pound as a pulsing vein. Pinpointing the exact source of the noise was impossible, and it was driving her mad ever so slowly. That very madness was the one thing fueling her hatred for the pitiful creatures she almost destroyed.
Time and time again, she had told herself that they were weirdos, dorks, and morons. But in truth, she – no! They're weak! Pathetic! Disposable! Their existence means nothing! They were practically begging to be wiped out by her fiery and cold hands! Which was why she – she… she didn't understand them. Why were they so persistent to live, even though their lives didn't matter? To stop her at all costs, even though they knew very well that they couldn't? For her to be "friends" with them, even though she didn't need them? Why didn't that register with them?! She didn't need anyone, nor their help!
After all, she had spent her entire life without ever having a "friend", so why start now? In fact, looking back on her life, she had always been by herself. Although, to be fair, they were around. Sometimes. Despite being physically close, there was always the feeling of mental and emotional distance. Kind of like the… clockmaker…god…theology-thingy, or whatever it was called. Not that she cared.
The noise grew louder.
She could remember all those times when they would purposely forget to water the flowers, kill meek animals, let the outcasts and misfits starve, and strike her in the back of the head. Never once did she see any of them show any guilt or shame on their faces. It wouldn't be long that she would copy their actions, and grew to love it the more she did. Watching living things wither away in misery was one of the very few things that gave her entertainment. None of those lives mattered. They deserved their fates.
The sound grew even louder.
In fact, now that she thought about it, she didn't have a lot to do. Then again, one can only do so much indoors. There always seemed to be some kind of violent conflict going on outside, and it only got worse as time marched on. Looking back, it explained why once they left, one by one, they never returned.
The non-existent war raged on.
Why were the galaxies so far apart from each other?! It was going to take her forever to go lightyears from one to the other! Oh well. Traveling by foot for who-knows-how long was better than being "friends" with those saps. Ha!... "Friend". Even to this day, the word sounds so foreign to her. She could recall the first time she ever encountered that word. It was in a storybook she had discovered under a pile of dust bunnies. She could recall asking them what the word meant. No answer. She asked if they would be her friend. No. Never. She could recall ripping the pages of the book to shreds, followed by kicking the dust bunnies to oblivion, and smashing all of the windows. She knew she got punished for that last thing, but she couldn't remember what the punishment was. Probably didn't do anything to affect her in any way.
Perhaps, but their rejection did.
No it didn't! She never needed them!
Then why did she ask?
She was stupid and naïve!
There was also something else.
No! No, there was not something else! That was it! No more, no less!
She was –
NO!
Cracks of thunder roared with the guns of war.
She still didn't understand…
What was it that she didn't understand?
Why did he save her?
Her life mattered.
Of course it did, but –
So all life has importance.
No it doesn't! They clearly taught her that!
They also taught her that she was worthless, and that they did not care about her at all.
N-No they didn't!
Then why did they not show her any love?
THEY DID NOT TEACH HER THAT!
Screeching and howling joined the screaming in a terrible choir found only in the nightmares of the disturbed.
She clutched her head, the aching almost becoming unbearable. Where were these conflicting thoughts coming from?! She never had them before!
Yes she did.
When?
That night out with… the Zbornak.
She remembered that moment all too well. The two of them were just… talking, on the rooftops of that planet. She said… something about galactic annihilation, and the Zbornak. She asked why all of her "friends" were weird. She called her "friend", and she meant it too. The way the Zbornak held out her hand for her to take…
She had to stop thinking about her. The Zbornak was, is, and will always be, her enemy. If anything, she confirmed that "friends" were completely worthless.
And yet, she was "friends" with Bots 13, 79, and 108.
She needed someone to monologue and maniacally laugh with!
She needed –
THE ROBOTS WERE PERFECT SUBSTITUTES!
They needed software for celebrating, comfort, and humor! And even then, they were anything but perfect. Not to mention that she destroyed Bot 13 without a second thought!
IT BETRAYED HER!
Train whistles wailed, and bombs formed craters in her pounding head. She needed to lie down. The fragility of the bubble made her feel paranoid, but the ever-changing universe gave off a serenity she never noticed before. If only that awful sound would just go away...
Life outside the wall she lived wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Yes, the global climate was dangerously high, and everyone was poverty-stricken from the drought that had been going on for possibly forever; but from being involved in a civil war that had been going on for at least all her childhood, it was surprisingly… intact. There were no demolished buildings or uprooted terrain, no decaying corpses or cremated remains, not even abandoned tanks or firearms. It was just a depressing stillness in the air. It was too still for her taste. That planet needed to be destroyed.
There was no war.
Just the mere idea was absurd enough to make her sit up from where she laid. But… it made since. War, one way or another, has always left a scar. For this supposed civil war to not even be seen outside the windows she looked out of, or even be mentioned by them, was illogical and downright impossible. But then… what was all of that fighting she would always hear?
It wasn't fighting.
No.
It was –
NO!
She moaned in agony caused from the headache.
HOW COULD IT BE?! IF IT WAS SO, SHE WOULD HAD HEARD IT ALL THE TIME!
She did hear it. She just denied its existence.
SHE DID NOT!
She couldn't hear it because she covered it up with her own violence. If she was going to hear for all her life, she might as well join. Embracing the chaos was the only way for her to cope.
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
Their lack of love left an ugly scar that will never go away. They left her to rot behind the walls she was born and raised. The isolation she received from them gave her twisted morals and sick ideals of how the universe worked. It gave her a hunger for death, a thirst to see innocence broken.
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
She couldn't escape the facts. She was imprisoned by the cold empty darkness, and still is. She had a chance step into the light, and become free from this torment forever, but she didn't. The blinding light that engulfed the wandering weirdo scared her. They would all just leave her behind, without any remorse or regret. Distance was the only way to keep her from being even more broken than she already was. But… she was starved.
OF COURSE SHE WAS! WHY ELSE DID SHE TAKE THE ORANGE?!
She was malnourished of relationship.
SHE WAS NOT!
Why else did she take the orange?
SHE DIDN'T TAKE IT!
DENIAL! SHE DID! THE ORANGE JUICE IS PROOF OF THAT! SHE TOOK IT, THAN SHE RAN! BECAUSE SHE WAS AFRAID! AFRAID THAT THE SAME CYCLE WOULD START ALL OVER AGAIN! And now, here she stands, in the center of the universe, between the worlds of planets and stars. Alone.
"SHUT UP, WANDER!"
The universe echoed. Her voice gave out. It took a fit of coughing for her to realize that he wasn't even with her. The war was still just as strong. She felt as if someone had skinned, gutted, and displayed her as a fool.
Never in her life did tears feel so welcome.
Something in the corner of her left eye caught her attention. It was a galaxy, inked in dark purple. Many of the stars that might have lit that world at one time were now long gone, slightly blending it all in void black. She knew that galaxy. It was filled to the brim with volcanic planets, metal mining colonies, and scrap yards for space vehicles. Everything was dead and abandoned, but there was enough to clothe what had been stripped. This time however, she'll make sure her armor will never crack. Those pathetic low-lives will be given what they rightfully deserve. A malicious smile grew on her face like winding roots.
…What was that to her right? A swirling, glowing mass of bright blue? It couldn't be! There wasn't anything there before! But there was now. And… her mind, and her face, went blank. It seemed to take all of eternity for her to wonder if there were any inhabitants inside that newborn world. And if there were, did they know of her existence?
For the first time in possibly forever, she had come across a fork-in-the-road, and she didn't know which way she should go. Should she remain in the dark, or try to step into the light? To continue what she started, or start all over? Life, or death?
She made up her mind.
"Wander Over Yonder" was created by Craig McCracken