One ship is very much like another, and the sea is always the same...
"Coffee, black."
The replicator hummed and out of the familiar blue shimmer appeared the welcome sight of a silver cup full of dark, steaming liquid. Captain Kathryn Janeway gave a small smile and, after picking up the cup, turned to gaze out at the stars flying past her ready room window. Tom Paris had reopened the 'Sandrine's' holoprogram and after some well-played rounds of pool the night before, she had nearly doubled her rations for the month. She took a sip of the delicious brew and sighed. And a good month it's going to be.
Turning, she sat on the couch under the viewport and picked up a PADD. She sipped her coffee and enjoyed the calm, only half absorbing the report in her hand. Things had been almost eerily quiet lately but the Captain was glad for a chance to relax a bit and the crew was handling the lull remarkably well, as always. They were currently en route to a rare type of nebula that was only slightly out of the way and would offer an exciting opportunity for the science teams to gather valuable data, as well as replenishing their anti-matter energy reserves.
As a scientist at heart, Janeway was looking forward to their arrival and even Naomi Wildman, the youngest voyager, was excited. The images they'd received from long-range scanners were breathtakingly beautiful. Janeway smiled to herself at the memory of how the child's bright eyes had grown wide with wonder at the sight. She had been in astrometrics when the Captain and Seven of Nine had been going over sensor data and, inquisitive as always, had immediately begun asking questions – particularly interested in when they would arrive at the beautiful sight.
Janeway's mind began to wander back further. There had been so many happy times on this ship, and probably just as many bad times too, since that fateful day, over five years ago, when the Caretaker had carried them to the Delta Quadrant. Through it all the crew had endured and formed such a tight bond. She marveled at how much they had all changed. Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres had overcome their aggressive tendencies and found great friendship and love in each other; Harry Kim was no longer the shy and quiet ensign as when he first arrived on board; Samantha Wildman and little Naomi, in watching their mother/daughter bond grow, Janeway often found herself longing for such an experience; even the holographic doctor had added a few subroutines and she couldn't imagine life on Voyager without his odd charm, despite the fact that he was apt to nag her about her coffee intake.
She began to wonder how she had changed. She certainly wasn't as tight-laced as before. Her hair had been let down a little, figuratively and literally, and she'd formed many close friendships with members of her crew, most especially with her first officer.
Chakotay. Now he was a thought her mind could wander with for hours, if she let it. Their bond was very strong, as a command team and as the best of friends. He had changed over the years too and she trusted him more than she ever thought she would trust anyone.
Their lives from before in the Alpha Quadrant seemed so distant sometimes. She wondered how they would change again once they got back home. She couldn't imagine not seeing her crew every day, passing their familiar faces in the corridors, talking and laughing with them in the mess hall and on the holodeck. And she certainly didn't want to go a day without seeing Chakotay's dimpled smile or feeling his comforting presence next to her on the bridge. She remembered the monotony of her evening meals before they'd begun having dinner together regularly and she didn't think she could go back to that. Even sitting together in her ready room, going over reports, her with coffee and him with tea, was such a regular part of her routine now…
The chime on the ready room door sounded and she started out of her reverie.
"Come in," she called.
The object of her foremost thoughts strolled through the doors and, seeing that she wasn't at her desk, turned toward the upper level and gave her a grin. She looked so very Kathryn-like, sitting there with a mug of coffee in hand, and Commander Chakotay loved seeing his captain in this relaxed state. She had opened up so much since the beginning of their journey and, in spite of their occasional arguments and head-butts, he often marveled at how he seemed to adore her more every day.
"Chakotay," she smiled at him sweetly as she leaned forward to put down the PADD she was holding. He stepped up to where she was and as she asked, "What've you got for me?" he pulled another PADD from behind his back and placed it in her now empty hand.
"Just an update on the nebula. The new Borg modifications that Seven made to the sensors are working wonderfully. On arrival we should be able to take readings both from outside and inside the nebula."
She raised her eyebrows in approval as she took another sip of coffee and scrolled through the data.
"That should make Tuvok happy. He wasn't too thrilled at the idea of taking the ship in to collect samples without being able to keep an eye on what was happening outside."
"It's been so quiet lately, nothing on sensors to note at all. I'm surprised he's so worried," Chakotay chuckled quietly.
"Well, you know Tuvok," Janeway returned with a smile, thinking to herself that some things never change. "And out here in the unknown would you really want a chief of security who was any less diligent?"
He hummed his agreement and then pulled his other hand from behind his back and presented her with a rose that matched the command red color of their uniforms.
"I also have an invitation to dinner, on me, tonight…if you're interested," he asked, somewhat shyly.
"Do you even have to ask?" She flashed him a crooked smile and divested her hands of the PADD and the now empty coffee cup. Taking the rose, she passed it under her face and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes briefly as the sweet scent filled her nostrils.
"Well, I would never want to presume, Kathryn," he smiled as she reached up and took his hand. He pulled her off the couch and was rewarded with a small laugh and a gentle pat on the chest.
"For you, Chakotay, I'm always a sure thing."
At that, he grinned and, turning so they were side by side, crooked his elbow to her. "To the bridge then?"
"I suppose I should make an appearance before the day is out," she sighed in mock exasperation and looped her arm through his. Rarely one to sit still, she usually avoided the bridge on slow days like this, preferring to spend her duty time 'helping' in engineering or poking around the lower decks. But sometimes it was nice to sit in her command chair, occasionally brushing hands with Chakotay at the console they shared between them. Those brushes, though she'd never admit it out loud, brought her little moments of giddiness that almost made her feel like a teenager again.
Arm in arm, and with his rose still in her hand hanging loosely at her side, they stepped through the ready room doors and up to the bridge.
"Report," she called, giving his elbow a slight squeeze as she slid from him and strode to the middle of the command deck. He crossed behind her and moved to sit in his chair to her left.
"All systems normal, Captain," Tuvok spoke from tactical.
"Sensors functioning at peak efficiency," Kim called from his operations console. "We're already collecting scans of the nebula and science teams report that analysis is underway."
"Very good," Janeway smiled and twirled the rose through her fingers. "Mr. Paris, what's our current speed?" She leaned lightly against the railing behind the helm.
"Cruising at warp seven, Captain," Paris tapped a few buttons on his console and continued, answering her unasked question. "We should be arriving at the nebula by 0800 tomorrow morning."
"Excellent," and with that she pushed off from the railing and went to sit in her center seat.
The rest of the alpha shift was smooth sailing. Just before she was due to leave, Janeway leaned over the center console and spoke quietly to Chakotay. Their regular dinners together were no secret among the crew; neither was their close friendship, especially when Chakotay entered her ready room with a rose and she left carrying it, but she still liked to be at least a little discreet.
"What's on the menu tonight, Commander?"
"I'm going to keep the main course a surprise," he gave her a sly grin before he continued. "But I will tell you that I'm thinking of tomato bruschetta for an appetizer and tiramisu for desert."
"Ooh, Italian food then!" Her mouth almost watered at the thought. "We haven't had that in a while. How'd you get the rations for such extravagance?" She eyed him suspiciously.
"I just placed a sure fire bet last night on the best pool player in the quadrant," his eyes sparkled and there were those dimples again. "Her opponent really should've seen the loss coming."
She backhanded him softly on the arm, smiling back with laughter in her eyes. She hoped Paris, who just happened to have been her opponent, hadn't heard that. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't approve of gambling but if it's a sure thing…" She let her voice trail off and shrugged her shoulders. He knew very well that she'd increased her own rations last night too.
"So my quarters, 1800?" he asked, knowing her shift was nearly over.
"It's a date," she whispered, reaching over to pat him on the arm. She then picked up her rose from the armrest and stood. "Commander, the bridge is yours," speaking loud enough for every one to hear now. Janeway turned and walked up to the turbolift, leaving Chakotay to oversee the change to gamma shift.
After she left, Chakotay could still smell the sweetness of the rose, mixed with her own unique scent. He took a deep breath and allowed himself a small smile, settling in. His shift would end in just half an hour and he was very much looking forward to his 'date' with Kathryn tonight.
/\
Kathryn rang the chime on his door a few minutes before 1800. She had changed from her uniform to a simple dark blue, short-sleeved dress and walked barefoot the short distance down the corridor between her quarters and his. The doors slid open almost immediately and she stepped inside.
The lights had been dimmed slightly and soft music, that she didn't immediately recognize, was playing in the background. The table was candlelit and set beautifully for two. Chakotay was just opening a bottle of wine and the appetizer was shimmering out of the replicator. Kathryn smiled broadly. It wasn't a particularly special night by any means, but he was going above and beyond. She wondered, not for the first time, what she had done to deserve such a wonderful friend.
"Oh, Chakotay, this all looks so lovely!" She walked over to him and, standing on tiptoe, kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"Thank you," he grinned down at her, and she wasn't sure if he was thanking her for the compliment or the kiss; probably both. She felt a blush coming on at her rare boldness in the kiss and took a deep breath to center. Picking up a glass, Chakotay poured a generous amount and then passed it on to her. After pouring himself a glass, he turned to the replicator, removed the plate of bruschetta, and placed it on the table.
"Your appetizer is served, Madame," he proclaimed with an exaggerated flourish of his hands and bowing slightly. Kathryn laughed and they both took their seats and began their meal.
Conversation flowed easily and any silences were comfortable, as usual. The main course turned out to be chicken parmigiana with pasta in a light sauce and Kathryn was delighted. Chakotay was pleased with himself and his selection. They were both stuffed by the time the tiramisu shimmered into existence but it looked too delicious to pass up. After they were full and content, the table was cleared, the last of the wine poured into their glasses, and they settled on the couch under the viewport.
Presently, there was a lull in the conversation and Kathryn focused on the music that was still playing softly. This song was an acoustic guitar with a male singer and she had never heard it before – it was a noticeable departure from the usual classical affair.
"What are we listening to?" She turned to face him and cocked her head to the side.
"It's what Tom would call a 'mixed tape.' He gave me access to his files of 20th century popular music and I put together a playlist of songs that the computer described as having a relaxing or mellow quality." He paused for a moment to listen to the beginning of the next song. "I think I like it. It's something different at least."
Kathryn nodded in agreement and drained the last of her wine. Placing the empty glass on the table, she leaned back to rest her head on Chakotay's shoulder and he slipped his arm around her. The song was now piano and a female voice was singing something about being 'up on the roof.' Smiling to herself, Kathryn closed her eyes and snuggled in closer.
She let her mind wander, once again. It was rare for her to have such unguarded moments but she felt so comfortable tucked into his side. She could feel his heartbeat, surrounding her, soothing her. She imagined that when they did return home and she looked back on their time spent in the Delta Quadrant, these would probably be some of her favorite moments – when they were simply Kathryn and Chakotay, not the Captain and the Commander.
She gave herself a mental shake. Out here in the unknown they would always be the Captain and the Commander. How could it be any different? They had long ago arrived at an unspoken agreement between them that their off-duty relationship would have its limits. As much as Kathryn wished for more, the Captain always held herself back. She would never ask Chakotay to wait but she did wonder sometimes what their relationship would be like when they got home.
She felt herself tensing as her mind became aware of just how comfortable she was at the moment and she began her internal struggle over just how close was too close. 'You'd think after nearly six years of doing this dance we'd find some kind of balance,' she thought to herself.
"Penny for your thoughts?" The sudden soft sound of Chakotay's voice and the deep rumble it made in his chest against her cheek brought her once more out of reverie. She wasn't surprised that he'd felt her tension and she wished she could simply relax and stop over-thinking things.
Slowly, Kathryn pulled herself away from his comfort and warmth. She turned on the couch, pulling one leg beneath her, so that she now sat facing him. Her bright blue eyes studied his warm brown ones for a moment as she chose her words.
"Chakotay," she began, "Do you ever think about how things will change when we get back to Earth?" He tilted his head slightly and regarded her for a moment. She rushed to continue, feeling some unknown need to clarify. "I mean, I was just thinking earlier today how much we've all changed these past few years and it made me wonder how things will change again."
He nodded in understanding before speaking. The only reason he had hesitated before was because it was so rare for her to speak with such certainty about 'when we get back'. It was a thought that gave him a fresh impulse of joy.
"I suppose change is inevitable, especially when we get back to Earth. It's hard for me to imagine though, not being on this ship, not seeing the crew everyday." She smiled at how he seemed to be mirroring her earlier thoughts and wondered, not for the first time, if he might actually be capable of reading her mind. "I'm pretty sure though," he continued, taking a deep breath and keeping his eyes locked with hers, "That these are the moments I'll miss most," he gave her a sly grin and added, "That and conspiring with the doctor to get you to cut down on your caffeine intake."
She laughed and gave him a playful shove. "And here I was, just about to agree with you on all that!" Her face turned more thoughtful again and she continued, "That's what I was thinking too – when you asked – how much I'll miss these moments." A blush crept into her cheeks once again and she blinked, turning her eyes to the stars flying past the viewport.
"Kathryn," Chakotay reached over and took her hand in his. "Not everything has to change, you know."
She smiled and looked down at their hands, nodding in agreement, "I know." Her heart seemed warmed by his reassurance and she let out a little sigh, turning again to stare out the viewport. His arm was still resting on the back of the couch and she leaned forward slightly, placing her chin just below his elbow. His other hand left hers and his fingertips began tracing slow, soft circles up the smooth skin of her forearm, turning at the crook of her elbow and reversing the motions back down only to be repeated again.
They sat in this comfortable silence for some time, listening to the music and enjoying the close company. Eventually, Kathryn turned, thanked him for a lovely evening, and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek again. Chakotay rose with her and walked her to the door, wishing her sweet dreams as she left.
/\
After the door slid shut behind her, Kathryn stood in the corridor, staring at some unknown point. Sometimes it was so hard to leave. It was irrational, she knew, she would see him again on the bridge, or maybe even in the messhall for breakfast, first thing in the morning. She found herself thinking too how it was irrational for her to cling to protocol when all she really wanted was to rush back through the door, fling herself into his arms and tell him, show him even, how much she loved him. How long she stood there, she did not know, but Ensign Kim startled her as he came around the corner, on his was to his quarters from the mess hall.
"Captain, are you alright?" Kim asked tentatively, concern briefly crossing his youthful features.
"Yes, Harry, I'm fine," she shook her head and gave him a grin. "My mind was just wandering a bit." He glanced down at her bare feet and then smiled back at her. Kathryn could sense his vague discomfort and decided to put him at ease. Anyone probably would feel odd at finding his or her captain standing barefoot outside the first officer's quarters, staring off into nothingness with a goofy grin on her face. With a light laugh she said "Come on, Harry," and placed a hand around his elbow. "Walk an old woman to her door."
"Captain!" He laughed in surprise and they began walking slowly next door. "You're hardly an old woman," surprised now by his own boldness, he continued, "I don't think anyone on this ship would think so either."
"Well, sometimes I certainly do feel old," she stopped and considered a moment. "Maybe I'm really just old-fashioned though." They had reached her quarters now and he regarded her oddly for a moment before returning her smile. Kathryn gave him a pat on the shoulder and then reached to key in her entry code. "Thank you, Harry," the door slid open. "At the risk of sounding old-fashioned – I appreciate your chivalry."
Harry smiled once again and gave a small bow as he took a step back. "Sleep well, Captain."
"Good night, Harry."
/\
After she left, Chakotay stood in the middle of his living room, staring out the viewport. He wondered what he would do if she ever turned around and came back one of these nights – what she would do if he ever went after her. They had reached a silent agreement years ago and for the most part he was fine with it. He enjoyed being her closest friend and having her as his, and found comfort in every gentle touch and the occasional chaste kiss on the cheek.
He wanted more though. Even just to sleep beside her, to feel her soft, warm, beautiful body next to his…
With a bark of a laugh, he shook his head, bent to retrieve their empty wine glasses and put them in the recycler.
He lay awake in bed for quite some time, thinking about how he missed her when she wasn't around. He knew she was only next-door and that he would see her on the bridge in the morning but for all his rational thinking, he still couldn't shake those other thoughts.
"Woman," he whispered aloud to no one, "do you have any idea what you do to me?" Turning on his side, Chakotay eventually slipped into a light sleep, filled with dreams of bright blue eyes and auburn colored, half-hearted curls.
/\
"Take us in, Mr. Paris, one-quarter impulse," Janeway settled into her command chair and glanced at the center console.
They had arrived at the nebula as scheduled and were not disappointed. Aside from being a brilliant and beautiful sight, it was also abundant in many of the gaseous particles they could use as alternative energy sources. Beyond that, the science team had discovered a nursery of sorts hidden in the nebula's depths and would have a very unique chance to study developing stars. Even Seven of Nine, usually so cold and indifferent, had seemed almost pleased at this discovery when Janeway had stopped by astrometrics before heading up to the bridge for the morning.
"Mr. Tuvok, Seven should have patched access to the enhanced scanners through to your security console by now. Let's have continuous scans out while we're in there. I don't want any surprises when we reemerge."
"Aye, Captain. Sensors are online and functioning at full capacity," came Tuvok's cool reply over her right shoulder.
"Captain…" Ensign Kim spoke from operations, slight uncertainty escaping into his voice. "I'm picking up some kind of spatial disturbance. It's behind us and almost out of sensor range. Once we enter the nebula it will be out of range."
"What's the cause of the disturbance?" Janeway glanced back at Kim before leaning over to look at the sensor data Chakotay was pulling up at their console.
"Unknown. Our sensors seem to be a little…baffled by it," Kim replied.
Janeway tapped a few buttons, quickly reviewing the data. "It almost looks…temporal," she muttered, glancing at Chakotay. "There are definite differences though…" She let her voice trail off and after a moment of thought she stood and walked to the railing in front of the operations console. "Send all the data to Seven in astrometrics. Let's see what she can make of it." Turning to the forward viewer again, she took a few slow steps. "For now, let's stay on course and do what we came here for. Keep an eye on that disturbance if you can though. If it changes or comes closer I want to be notified immediately."
A chorus of affirmative answers sounded as she turned and resumed her seat. Janeway had expected Tuvok to protest her decision to move ahead anyways but for now he seemed content. If anything did happen outside while they were studying in the nebula, chances were good that they would be well hidden. With the added advantage of being able to scan out, Tuvok seemed satisfied of their safety.
/\
The nebula didn't let them down. It was full of unique and fascinating scientific data to be gathered as well as particles needed to replenish their anti-matter stores, amongst other things. Science teams were immediately busy collecting and sorting scans and data and the entire crew was glad for new work to disrupt the routine.
It was mid-afternoon and Janeway and Chakotay were in the ready room going over reports. They were almost coming in faster than the command team could read them but at the rate she was consuming caffeine, Chakotay figured his captain would be able to handle it. He chucked to himself as she poured what he thought was at least her fifth cup of coffee.
"What's so funny?" She glanced at him as she took a sip and picked up another PADD.
"You and your coffee," he shook his head and she grinned. They slipped back into concentrated silence, silence that was broken after a few minutes when Tuvok paged them to the bridge.
Janeway strode up to the tactical station with Chakotay close behind. "Report," she addressed Tuvok.
Knowing Tuvok as well as she did, Janeway would tell when his brow was knitted a little tighter than usual. Something was bothering him.
"Sensors have picked up a ship," replied Tuvok, the Vulcan air of calm ever present in his voice. "It is at the very edge of our range, but moving toward the nebula at impulse." His fingers flew once more across the console and then he turned to Janeway, eyebrow raised as if in surprise. "I have a visual."
"Let's see it then," Janeway ordered, stepping back down to the command deck.
The view-screen changed from the beautiful nebula interior to the typical ever-present starfield, changed only by the appearance of a slow moving object near the middle.
"Magnify," Janeway crossed her arms. She didn't like the feeling of being snuck up on. Just as the view zoomed in, she felt Chakotay's comforting presence near her back.
And she was glad for it because the ship on the screen nearly made her fall back in shock.
It was Voyager.
Except that it wasn't. Several of the bridge crew made audible gasps. Janeway knew her ship inside and out and she could see this one proudly proclaim to be hers, the same registration number graced the gentle curve of the primary hull, but that was perhaps the only thing gentle about this ship.
It was dark, both in the literal sense and in the fact that it was downright mean looking. The hull was of a deep gunmetal gray color. Extra weapons arrays dotted the entire ship and there were certainly more phaser banks than her own Voyager had. Janeway shuddered to think at what their torpedo compliment might be. This other Voyager could only be a war-ship, built for battle and to win at all costs.
"Where did it come from?" The Captain quickly regained her composure and glanced back at Ensign Kim. He still had a look of wonder on his face but was working steadily at his console to give her an answer.
"It's trajectory matches that of the spatial disturbance detected just before we entered the nebula," he replied. "Seven of Nine is still working to analyze that data."
Janeway nodded and turned back to the screen, eyeing the menacing ship, growing steadily closer.
"Since they're headed toward the nebula, I think it's safe to assume they know we're in here somewhere," she paused and thought a moment more. "And since they are taking no measures to disguise their approach, I'd say it's also safe to assume they are unaware of our enhanced scanning capabilities." She turned away from the screen and continued as she moved to her command chair and began pulling up Tuvok's sensor data. "I want a meeting of the senior staff in fifteen minutes. And Harry?" she glanced up at the ops station. "Make sure Seven knows I want some answers."
"Yes, Ma'am," he nodded.
Janeway's mind was already churning with possibilities but she knew speculation wouldn't do any good. She tried to focus on the sensor data scrolling across the console but she couldn't ignore the chill that had crept into her spine.