Author's note: Hello everyone, I am new to writing fanfiction, but this story has been bugging me to put it down into words. This story is basically AU one-shots of scenarios I imagined happening when we found out April was giving birth in 12x24. Hope you enjoy the story and do let me know your feedback.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
He loves her. He loves her so damn much.
That was the only thought running through his head while he was cradling his newborn daughter. His precious little daughter, whom meant the world to him and her mother.
Her mother.
An experience April might not even live to know, a bitter voice ran through his head. He hugged his daughter closer to him, while seated on an empty bed with Ben rambling his apologies. Jackson was not listening though. Just one thought repeatedly ran through his head.
He loves her. He loves her so damn much.
Until Bailey came to give him any updates on April, he was stuck in a bubble of daze that consisted of their daughter and the repeated thought. He loves her so damn much.
Hours went by. Or maybe it was just minutes, but Jackson was anxious; anxious to get any update on April.
He could not imagine life without her. Yes, he pushed for the divorce. Yes, he still loves her and yet, asked for the divorce. But he never imagined April not being a part of his life. He never saw a future where April didn't exist; even if just as a colleague.
Now, they had the one thing they wanted most in the world. The one thing that tore them apart before. And her life was hanging in the balance.
His daughter mewled, reeling Jackson back to reality. He shot his daughter a small smile. The only silver lining to his downward spiral of emotions. Bailey pushed open the doors at that moment, disrupting the father-daughter moment. Her face was grim. Jackson's stomach dropped.
"There was severe obstetric haemorrhaging and-" Bailey's voice broke before she continued.
"She lost too much blood. The blood supply to brain was cut off and ...,".
No. No, Jackson refused to believe this. He sank back towards the bed. It was a nightmare. He needed to wake up from this.
He needed a world where April was there with him, to weep at the first sight of their daughter, to name their daughter, to feed their daughter, to marvel at their daughter with awe, to hear their daughter call out for Mama, to cry on his shoulder on their daughter's first day of school, to talk to her about puberty and boys, to stop him from staring down at any boys looking at their daughter, to distract him from interrogating her potential boyfriend, to hold him while he bawls when their daughter walks down the aisle. To live a lifetime with him to see their daughter grow up.
He was brought to the room where April was in a coma supported by the life support machine. Tears welled up in his eyes when he saw her.
He gave her a light kiss on her cheek. She looked so peaceful. Like she was going to wake up any moment and shoot him a smile.
Oh, what he wouldn't give for those eyes to look at him adoringly. Now, he will never see those hazel eyes crinkle when she smiles. He will miss the dimple of hers when she is so damn happy. Like she would be now. She would be demanding for him to bring their daughter to her. Bossy little one, she would have been, he chuckled to himself.
He put their baby in her arms and supported her arms, wanting her to have at least held the baby once. The baby whom she loved so much.
Tears trickled down Jackson's cheek. She will never know how damn much he loves her. She will never know that deep down, he always believed that they will be fine. Eventually. No matter how long that took. She will never know that he envisioned them at Lake Tahoe in 30 years, old and wrinkly and yet, renewing their vows before taking a second honeymoon.
So stupid he was. All the time wasted on how she abandoned him when they could have been celebrating the pregnancy. When they could have reveled in their love for each other. When they could have shared cuddles and kisses and wrapped themselves in each other's warmth. He loves her. So damn much.
She was leaving him behind. Again. And this time, she was not coming back.
What hurts the most
was being so close
Having so much to say
And watching you walk away