ONE PIECE : WOODEN SKULL SAGA

Clearly a One Piece Fanfiction

By: WelcomeToMyTwistedLittleWorld

Chapter 1 : And So Our Grand Journey Begins!

So how to begin our story? Well naturally the best way to start a story is at the beginning and this story is no exception. Our story begins with a man, not just any man but a king…his name? Gol D. Roger. But he's better known to the world at large as Gold Roger the king of the pirates! He traveled throughout the Grand Line in search of treasure and adventure and…wait you mean to tell me you've already heard this story? About how he was caught and hung and that his last words started the great age of piracy? Well shoot there goes my great story and I still have all this room, what am I going to do now? Well it just so happens I have another story about a pirate. It has everything a story about buccaneers should have Action, Drama, and even some Romance all on the high seas! So what do you say are you interested? Well if you are listen up as I recount the tales of Woodrow D. Barker and his merry band of misfits. This is the Wooden Skull Saga!

This story quite literally starts with a bang!

Cannon fire this early in the morning? Someone was getting an ass kicking for this that was assured. The cabin shook with the force of a cannonball hitting the wall causing Woodrow to fall unceremoniously out of his hammock and flat on his face, yes an ass would most definitely be kicked for this.

Despite the obvious pandemonium outside Woodrow took his time getting dressed and finding his captain's hat. As he left his quarters he found his two shipmates fighting a good number of goons each. His first mate Muttley who looked to still be in his pajamas was clashing swords with a man on a unicycle of all things, his hair as always covered his eyes to the point that Woodrow silently wondered just how he see what he was doing, while the lookout Rose was nimbly dodging the claws and teeth of a large lion her long red hair billowing behind her like a cape. It was just an average day at sea.

Woodrow cleared his throat ready to get the attention of the combatants when he suddenly felt a sword pierce his side. He turned his head and saw to his surprise that one of the goons had gotten around behind him as he watched his friends fight and had stabbed him completely through.

The man cackled and called out to Woodrow's shipmates. "Oi looks like you two need a new captain, after all this one's real cut-rate!" and with that he cleaved Woodrow in half. As he fell Woodrow sighed, it was going to be one of those days… His top half hit the deck hard and he let out a grunt of pain. He hadn't even been awake for twenty minutes and he'd already landed on his face twice, yup one of those days, not to mention the fact that he'd been cut in half something that would have bothered him a lot more a few months ago but right now he was more worried about his aching nose. Not to say being cut in twain didn't suck, it had hurt much more then his nose but it had been a sudden pain, a quick there and done pain, like ripping off a bandage.

By now you should have already guessed that Woodrow has eaten a Devil Fruit. The Tree-Tree Fruit to be exact, a Logia Type fruit that makes him one with nature, however unlike most Logia users who turn into elements and rather unsubstantial things he didn't have the ability to have attacks faze through him. He still had the Logia invulnerability but it often led to awkward situations like the one facing him now.

But he wasn't going to let this keep him from fighting, from above him he heard a gasp of surprise and a grunt of pain as his would-be killer was quickly knocked out by a kick from his lower half. As his assailant hit the ground Woodrow smirked and called out "So Mutts how you doing this fine morning?"

On the second level he heard Muttley's signature laugh before he got an answer "Heh heh heh heh heh! Better then you are I'd figure sir!" Woodrow pushed himself up so he could get a look at the fights in progress. Muttley was still fighting the unicycle goon but his other opponents were unconscious, similarly Rose had beaten all of her opponents except the lion and the man who he guessed was his owner.

It didn't take a genius to figure out who was attacking them, what with the circus themed dumbasses running around and the clown Jolly Roger, Woodrow cleared his throat again this time looking around so as to not be jumped a second time before calling out "All right you clowns listen up!"

This caught the attention of his shipmate's opponents and caused Rose to get an accidental sucker punch in on the lion tamer something that would have made Woodrow laugh if he wasn't trying to be serious at the moment. Putting on his most intimidating face Woodrow continued "What's the big idea attacking us? I want to speak with your captain, Buggy the Clown right now!"

At the mention of their captain the two conscious members of Buggy's crew turned to look at each other before bursting into tears. It was a strange sight to say the least, especially when you took into account that the lion mimicked his master's actions.

The unicycle riding swordsman was blubbering about the captain being blown away while the lion tamer was weeping about a rubber man. At the mention of the rubber man Woodrow's eyes lit up "Rubber man? Tell me was he wearing a straw hat by any chance?" He received a pair of weepy nods as an answer.

Woodrow smiled wide and looked past the blubbering idiots toward the horizon before saying "So Luffy you finally started your journey huh? Bout time too, I wonder if we'll meet again?" Down below Rose was jumping up and down with glee while Muttley simply laughed happily about this new development.

Woodrow focused on the two Buggy Pirates below and with a smirk called out "Ah cheer up you mangy bilge rats I'm sure your captain is fine!" Almost in unison the two circus themed pirates cried "Really!?" Woodrow chuckled happy to see that despite their bad reputation they were at least extremely loyal to their captain "Yeah so what do you say instead of us killing you all and taking your shit you guys should go look for him and we can part ways as unlikely friends?" Woodrow said this with an creepy glint in his eyes a glint made all the more creepy as he was sitting next to his lower body instead of on top of it and he was tapping he left foot expectantly.

It was right about now that the two pirates remembered that Woodrow D. Barker was the son of the infamous William and Minerva D. Barker better known throughout the Blues as Barking Mad Bill, one of the most heartless and terrifying pirates that ever sailed and The Red Queen thought by some to be even scarier then her husband. Suddenly the two pirates thought that the young man had made a very generous offer indeed and so with the help of their would-be pillaging victims they gathered up all of the unconscious shipmates and getting them back on their gaudy parade float of a pirate ship the Buggy pirates sailed away and soon the seas were calm.

As Woodrow reconnected with himself he heard Muttley laughing again about something down below, meanwhile Rose decided to help her captain make sure he wasn't leaning to the left or anything. As she gave him a look-over she said "Oh Woodrow isn't it exciting Little Luffy is out there kicking ass and gathering a crew, I really hope we see him again!" Woodrow smiled and nodded "It would be pretty cool wouldn't it?"

After agreeing that he wasn't lopsided the two friends walked downstairs and into the galley where Muttley was frying up some eggs. Rose quickly ran up to him and planted a kiss on his cheek before saying "You looked so cool out their Muttley! Even in your Pjs you were totally kickass!" "Heh same to you babe!" Muttley replied as he put an arm around her waist and pulled her into a much more passionate kiss. Woodrow averted his eyes and rolled them practically at the same time 'Oh brother' he thought 'Just when I didn't think this morning could get anymore annoying now these two are gonna start acting all lovey-dovey, I mean I've known them for years and I'm happy for them and all but still not before breakfast!'

Woodrow crept stealthily from the galley before their cutesy chatter could commence as he didn't wish to lose his appetite. When he got outside he decided to check their current course. He did so by connecting to the ship itself.

You see even after a tree has been cut down and the lumber has been treated and turned into something else a small spark of life still resides inside of it, using the powers of his Tree-Tree Fruit Woodrow could connect with this spark and could let his consciousness move freely throughout any wooden structure. He used this ability to steal the ship they were currently using from some poor unsuspecting pirate who never saw them coming, just thinking about that day gave him the warm fuzzies.

He felt himself start to slip from his body which without his constant supervision began to take a more wooden appearance and almost looked like some kind of strange statue on deck. He started toward the map room and it was a smooth journey excluding the various nails and breaks in the wood, these dead zones always gave his a sickly feeling in his stomach and he avoided them as best he could.

Meanwhile as his essence went one way his body went another, even with nobody home Woodrow could remotely control his body and see through it's eyes. He hadn't gotten talking down yet but even so it was rather convenient being able to be in two places at once. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a spyglass and by reading the charts down below he confirmed they were on course toward the Organ Islands give or take a few hours.

After a few minutes it occurred to him that the Buggy pirates had sailed at them from this direction. 'So Luffy's been through there, hell he could still be there now we should get a move on!' After a few seconds he made it back to his body, with a grin he said aloud "Man I gotta tell pops about this!" Besides he was hungry and the Den-Den Mushi was in the galley anyway so he decided to kill two birds with one stone by heading back that way, Mutts and Rose were probable done being a romantic for now…hopefully.

Much to his relief the two lovebirds were had settled down and were simply making goo-goo eyes as they ate. Muttley knowing his captain had made a plate for him even after he'd left and while it wasn't piping hot it was still a good meal. As he ate he used his powers to bring the Den-Den Mushi over to the table and when the others gave him a confused look he simply said "Seeing as we still have quite a ways to go I decided to make a call to the Wonderland, to see if they've heard the good news.". His two friends satisfied with his answer went back to their lovey-dovey fest.

After a few seconds of waiting in which the snail made an odd ringing noise with it's eyes down it swiftly raised it's eyes and the voice of one of the most feared pirates in the Blues roared out of it's mouth "OI! WHAT'S DA BIG IDEA CALLIN' THIS FUCKIN' EARLY IN DA MORNIN' , WHUTEVA YA SELLIN' WE AIN'T BUYIN'!"

Woodrow dug his pinky into his ear hoping it would stop the loud ringing that had started as soon as his dad finished yelling. Likewise Muttley and Rose were picking themselves off the floor as the sudden burst of sound had knocked them over, even the Den-Den Mushi looked uncomfortable having to mimic such loud words. Woodrow not to be out done yelled back into the speaker "IT'S YOUR SON AND HIS FRIENDS YOU BLASTED FOOL, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL WHENEVER WE CALL YOU!"

After a few seconds of silence followed by what seemed to be a hushed fight on the other end of the line as the Den-Den Mushi said various insults and made crashing sound effects our trio of heroes heard a slightly out of breath feminine voice speak up "Hi sweetie, it's great to hear from you!" Woodrow smiled and replied "Hi mom sorry for yelling like that…" they heard soft laughter from the other end of the line "It's no trouble dear sometimes your father gets a little overexcited and then he gets exactly what he deserves." Muttley not one for banter grabbed the speaker from Woodrow and said "So Mrs. Barker have you heard Little Luffy finally started sailing!" "Oh Marion is that you? You sound different over the Den-Den Mushi." "…Muttley Mrs. Barker please call me Muttley." As he said this he put his head down on the table in embarrassment while the others merely laughed. "So Woodrow is it true? Has Luffy started his journey?" "Yeah we heard it from a…reliable source" Rose snorted "Yeah if you can call those idiots reliable…"

After filling his mother in on what they'd heard from the Buggy Pirates she said "If only we could have seen that smug clown's face…it was more then likely priceless, oh wait your father wants to ask you something. Just a minute…" A few seconds his father's voice came from the Den-Den Mushi "Oi, boy it's good to hear your voice even as loud as it was Bwahahahaha!" Woodrow rolled his eyes "Same to you pops…now what do you want?"

Suddenly the wall near the table shifted as if it wasn't fully there before a swirling vortex appeared on it's surface, after a second a hand appeared in the whirling mass holding an envelope which it threw in the direction of the table and with that the vortex was gone. "I need ya to deliver that letter for me…" Woodrow who'd seen stranger things when he was a cabin boy on the Wonderland as a teenager wasn't fazed by the portal and simply asked "To who?" "Look at the front if ya want to know, well I've got to be going lotsofthingstodo BYE!" And with that the call was ended, Woodrow wanted a few more choice words with his father however due to the name on the front of the envelope 'To: Monkey D. Luffy'.

When Woodrow tried to get his father back on the line the Den-Den Mushi couldn't seem to find his signal as if he went somewhere where a signal would be impossible to receive…like another dimension. Woodrow bellowed at the to of his lungs "FUCKING SHIFT-SHIFT BASTARD!"

Woodrow is referring to the Devil Fruit his father ate, the Shift-Shift Fruit, a Paramecia type fruit that let him open portals and move between dimensions, it also let his father 'shift' and become incorporeal so as to avoid attacks. His father had made his name using these powers but that didn't mean he didn't also use them to be one of the biggest trolls in existence.

After about twenty or so minutes of fuming Woodrow calmed down enough to ask his crewmates what they thought they should do, Muttley suggested trying to track Luffy down as quickly as possible and Rose agreed. He really hated it when they did that, it really undermined his role of captain. So as this day couldn't possibly get more annoying Woodrow resigned himself to his father's mission, they'd probably need to find some more shipmates because Woodrow couldn't see this going smoothly with just the three of them.

Woodrow stepped outside to clear his head and much to his surprise saw a large landmass on the horizon he called to his friends "Hey guys, land ho!" as his friends followed him outside Rose commented "But shouldn't we still be a few hours from the nearest island?" Muttley muttered "Must be the work of Barking Mad…". Although he was slightly annoyed at his father's handiwork he couldn't help but laugh when the other two gave him a pair of confused looks he simply said "Oh well, at least today wasn't boring! Come on guys lets get ready to make port at the nearest island and see if we can learn anything about the adventures of a certain rubber idiot." With two cries of "Aye-aye Captain" the trio set to work, and just like that their amazing adventure began.

Who knows what kind of crazy shenanigans our heroes will get into next? Well I for one do, if you want to find out come back for Chapter 2 : The Song and Dance Man : Enter Calaway Blues!