Disclaimer: none of you are even reading this are you….oh well, on with the disclaimer. I do not own teen titans, or sweet blood or any other books movies or products mentioned in this fan fiction….if I did own them, I wouldn't be sitting her depressed and lonely in my tiny house at my crappy computer. I would be rich and using an awesome high-speed laptop.

Summary: Perfection- without errors, flaws, or faults, ideal in every way

That is what she wanted to be. What she would do anything to become, even if it meant death. Warning, anorexia and bulimia, (ana mia), cutting. pov? Read to find out. Completely AU

Raven walked down the hall, keeping her eyes down and her books to her chest. It was like this every day. No one noticed her. 'Who would want to hang out with a fat hideous gothic freak like me anyway' she thought as she headed toward the lunch table.

This was her lunch table and everyone knew it. She had been sitting at this table for over four years and everyone knew that they were to stay away. Not that anyone care anyway. 'after all…no one wants to sit with a weirdo.' she thought thinking back to when one of the drama heads had called her weird. 'the truth hurts doesn't it' a tiny voice in the back of her head said scathingly.

After getting her trey, she walked back to her table and sat down. She stared at her food, resisting the urge to gag. 'you don't want that' the tiny voice said sternly as she picked up the fork. She instantly put the fork back down.

Her stomach growled, but she was used to it. It didn't matter anyway, 'you are fat. you need to be perfect…and thin is perfection.' the voice told her harshly. 'you'll never be perfect if you eat…you don't deserve food…you deserve punishment, you need to punish yourself for attempting to eat….you are a bad BAD girl.' the voice rebuked harshly.

"Hi, I'm

Starfire, and I was wondering if I could sit with you…I'm new here" the girl said taking a seat on the opposite side of raven. Raven just glared. 'tell her to go away' the voice said sternly. Raven opened her mouth to tell the girl to leave but before she could, the girl spoke.

"Aren't you going to eat?" she asked, her smile never leaving her face. 'tell her…" "I'm kind of a loner….if you didn't notice" she said trying to give the girl a hint without being overly rude. "Oh…" the girl said, her smile faltering. "Well…could I sit here…just for today" she asked hopefully. Raven knew that she was going to regret it, but she sighed and told the girl that she could stay.

Raven continued to sit there staring at her food, and not saying a word. "Aren't you hungry" Starfire asked looking from Ravens still full plate to her half finished one. 'she's going to catch on' the voice warned. 'eat something…you can punish yourself later' the voice ordered. Raven sighed and picked up her fork, she took a tiny piece of mashed potatoes and put them into her mouth.

Fighting the urge to gag, she continued to eat until one fifth of her food was gone. She waited patiently for the bell to ring and stood and dumped her trey almost instantly after she heard the familiar ringing. She went to her locker and grabbed her bag and headed towards her destination.

She walked slowly, fighting the urge to throw up with every step. She made her way to one of the lesser used bathrooms and picked a stall. Lifting up the lid, she kneeled down and went through her usual ritual of sticking her pointer down her throat until she felt the familiar gagging sensation.

She held her hand steady, not giving in to the urge to remove it. After awhile, her gag reflexes had dulled and she had had to keep the finger there longer in order to get the same effect.

She could feel the muscles in her stomach contracting and she could taste the vile substances coming up from within her digestive track. She let it all come up, ignoring the pain of dry heaves. She held her finger in her mouth a little longer, making sure that she had gotten everything up.

Shakily, she took her finger from within her mouth and wiped it off. Flushing the toilet, she stood, her legs shaking and her heart pounding. Allowing herself to calm down, she flushed the toilet and put the lid and cover down. Opening her bag, she found what she wanted.

She held the blade in her hand, watching as the light glistened on it's shining surface. It was small, it was just a razor blade out of a disposable razor that she had taken apart. She rolled up the long sleeves of her hoody and looked at the many crisscrossing scars that covered her pale arms. In the beginning she had to punish herself a lot…it had been awhile, it was hard not to punish herself, even when she hadn't eaten or drunken all day. She was used to the pain…the pleasure of knowing that she was doing what was best for her. For some reson, she liked the power of hurting herself…it was like one of the only things that she could control…weather of not she hurt.

She ran the blade slowly over her skin, causing as much pain as possible 'I deserve this' she told herself, listening as the tiny voice agreed. She prepared to make another slit when a soft banging was heard on the door to the stall.