Gary and Company
Chapter 1
"Pick me, pick me!" Nermal cried. He, Mia the remlit, Perry, and Gary were in a box, waiting to be taken home to their new families. They were all six months old. Poof was already taken home by Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda.
"With my irresting charms," Nermal bragged. "I'll be taken to a loving family in no time!" He batted his eyes. Immediately, Jon's mom's arms lifted him up. "See? What did I tell you? I'm too cute to resist and I bet I will still be as cute when I'm a cat."
Next was Zelda's father. He picked up Mia and rubbed her tummy.
"Do you want to make my daughter happy?" He tickled the cat-like creature's tummy. "Huh, do you?" The remlit proudly mewed. He than left. Gary sighed sadly.
"I don't think I'll ever go to a loving home." Gary said.
"Sure you will Gary!" Perry reassured him.
"But I'm slow. Nobody wants a slow snail for a pet."
"Snails are supposed to be slow. And besides, you are pretty fast when you want to be."
"Well I suppose so, but I'll still not get a home."
Just than Phineas and Ferb ran up. Their mom, dad and sister were behind them. Candace was listening to her MyPod. Phineas picked Perry up and hugged him.
"Look Ferb; a platypus!" The little boy said.
"Let's name him Barthomew." Ferb suggested.
"Nah! He looks more like a Perry."
"Perry's good too."
"You're leaving me alone?" Gary asked.
"I have to." Perry told them. Gary looked disappointed. "But have faith Gary. I'm sure you're go to a loving family before you know it."
"I don't think so."
"Have faith in yourself. Your time will come. Remember what your mom said, 'keep your dream alive, only the strong survive.'" He and his new family then left.
Gary sighed as he curled up in a corner of the box. He then closed his eyes and went to sleep.
Suddenly, it began to thunderstorm. It was raining cats and dogs. Little Gary tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't.
Suddenly, the rain washed Gary away. The little snail mewed helplessly as he rammed into a street corner. He got up and shook himself off.
Suddenly, some worms growled and barked at him. Gary looked at them, terrified. The worms inched closer. Gary was then off like a jet. The worms slithered after him.
The snail found a fence, climbed up it and jumped off the other side. He ran and ran, leaving the disappointed worms behind on the other side.
Gary found a truck, climbed up into the wheel and fell asleep.
In the morning, the trucks engine started. Startled, Gary jumped off before it took off.
Gary then found a hot dog vendor. Guarding it was a Koopa Troopa. Gary's stomach growled. He slowly slithered on over.
"Hot Dogs!" Shouted the Koopa. "Hot Dogs, get them while they're hot! If not, then they're cold dogs I guess. Come on, you know you want them!"
He then saw Gary.
"Go on!" He told him. "Shoo! You're not getting my hot dogs!" Gary then gave him the puppy dog look.
"No! That's not going to work this time! So just forget about it and go away! " He turned back to the passersby's. "Hot Dogs, anyone?" Gary slithered towards the vendor. Koopa saw this and ran up to him. He picked him up.
"How many times do I have to say this? No means no, and that's final!" He tossed Gary away in an ally like a bowling ball and went on calling.
Gary rolled and bumped into Roger who was passing by. He fell down.
"Hey!" The alien barked. "Watch it; I'm walking here! Sheech!" Roger stood back up.
"Sorry." Gary apologized. "I was just getting a sausage when I was tossed in here." Roger looked at the snail.
"You were trying to get a sausage?"
"Yes." Roger looked at the koopa selling hot dogs then got an idea.
"Why don't you try again?"
"Are you nuts? I'm never going back there again." Gary was about to leave when Roger stopped him.
"Whoa, slow down kid!"
"Well, I don't have a choice. I am a snail after all."
"Hmm, good point. But you're not going to just give up are you? I say let's change Koopa Troopa's mind." Gary looked at Roger.
"What do you mean?"
"When it comes to stealing food, I'm an expert. It'll be a snap; like stealing candy from a baby!"
"Really?" Gary then realized something. "Wait a minute, what's the catch?"
"No catch kid! You can trust me!"
"I don't know. You are from an adult show and Mom did say not to trust strangers on the street, before she…" He than sighed sadly. "Well, I don't want to talk about it."
"Then don't talk about it! And my name's Roger, there! I am no longer a stranger to you! Now let's go get those sausages!"
"How?"
"Like this!" He than picked Gary up.
"Hey, what're you doing? Let me down!"
"Bowling for sausages!"
"Wait, no, no, no!"
"1, 2, 3!" He then rolled Gary like a bowling ball in Koopa Troopa's direction.
Koopa Troopa looked in their direction and immediately shielded himself.
"No, no, no, no, NO!" He screamed. Gary crashed into him. They both fell onto the hot dog cart.
Roger, sneakily swiped a roll of sausages and wore them around his neck like a boa.
"Well, adios kid!" He said, going away.
"Hey!" Gary called. "Wait a minute!" Before Koopa Troopa could grab him, the snail hopped from his grasp and went after Roger.
"Curses!" Koopa Troopa slammed his fist on the mustard which was facing towards him. The mustard squited in his eyes making him scream, hands over eyes. "Awww, my eyes!"
"So, when do we get to eat?" An eager Gary asked when he caught up to Roger. "I'm starving!"
"We?" Roger wanted to know. "What do you mean 'we'?"
"Well, I helped you getting those sausages, right?"
"Yeah, what's your point?"
"My point is that we can share the sausages."
"Share?" He let out a snort. "I don't know the meaning of it."
"Oh, well sharing is when you…" Roger got up in the mollusk's face.
"I was being sarcastic." He resumed walking.
"Oh right. But come on, I helped you. Just a tiny bit?"
"Nope!"
"You're not being fair you know."
"You didn't ask if I would be fair."
"But I'm hungry!"
"But I'm hungry!" Roger mocked. "Live with it!"
"I don't get it. Why are you being so mean?"
"I live by being mean, snail." As Gary chased him down, he began to sing.
"Mean, mean, mean, mean, mean!
That's what I am
I'm rude, obnoxious, a cheater, a liar, a prankster
People say I'm a monster
That's just me
And that's all I'll ever be
I'm mean!
And like my language, our show is never clean!
I'm bad news and just plain rotten
If you arrest me, I'll never be forgotten
But that's just me
And that's all I'll ever be
If you don't like it, tough luck
Because believe it or not, I have to in order to live
When I see a homeless person on the sidewalk, I won't even give him a buck
If you don't believe me, ask the stupid German fish
Being mean always, that is my wish
That's all I'll ever going to be
So someday, you may live in a big old city
But all I'm ever going to be is mean
Mean, mean, mean, mean, mean, mean
If you ask why, I'll just look at you and laugh
I'll push you in water and hear you splash
Because I'm mean
And that's all I'll ever be
Mean, mean, mean, mean, mean
That's all I'll ever be."
"That's all he'll ever be." Passing female cartoons sang and then went on their ways.
"You know." Roger told Gary. "You're pretty fast when you want to be.'
"Yeah, I know." Gary answered.
"See you snail!" The alien said moments later then went into an alley. But Gary didn't give up, he was determined. He wanted his sausages!
He followed the alien into a little house.
He was on a boardwalk. He peered down below and saw Grimer, Leela, Jake and Dudley. Leela was reading on the couch, Dudley was chasing his tail, Jake was watching TV and had a soda, and Grimer was dancing to some "I was Born this Way."
"I was born this way," The Pokémon sang along. "I was born this way!" He got onto a crate. "I was born this way, yeah!" Leela put down her book and gave him a stern look.
"Grimer!" She scolded. Grimer looked at her. "Shush! I'm trying to read!"
"Sorry Miss. Leela. But I was born this way!"
"Yeah, born to be annoying." She resumed reading. Grimer scowled at her. Next he made his way to Jake.
"Hey Jakey, my main dog! Whatcha' doin'?"
Dudley stopped to give a stern look at Grimer.
"I mean, my second main dog. What's shakin'?" Dudley smiled then went back with chasing his tail.
"Shhh," Jake shushed him. "I'm watching man."
"What you watching?"
"I'm watching a car chase. Someday, it'll be me chasing those cars."
"You want to chase cars? Ohhhhh, because you're a dog! I get you!" Jake looked annoyed.
"Annoying others while they're trying to watch the television is not cool man. If you're going to annoy me, then why don't you leave?"
"Ouch! Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!"
"Shhhhh!"
"Okay, okay!" He went over to Dudley. "Hey Dudley, why are you chasing your tail?"
"My tail called me stupid." Dudley answered. "It also called you a stupid Pokémon, plus it's fun!"
"Ohh! That tail needs to be fixed! Carry on then!" He then left to dance to the next song.
"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes," Grimer sang, putting his hands in the air. "Saying AYO! Gotta Let GO!"
"Did you get our food, Jake?" Leela asked, keeping her eyes on her book. Jake looked at her.
"Me?" He questioned.
"Yeah, today was the day to get food."
"Ohhh," He gave a guilty smile and laugh. "Oops, guess I forgot." Everyone groaned, Dudley stopped for a moment.
"What are we going to eat then?" He wanted to know. Without an answer, he continued chasing his tail.
"That's okay!" Grimer reassured them. "I can eat trash again. I don't mind!"
Just then Roger came in.
"Hi gang!" He greeted. Everybody stopped at what they were doing. Grimer rushed over to him.
"Hey Roger buddy!" He said. "How's it going?" He was about to put an arm around him when Roger looked at him sternly.
"Please don't touch me." Grimer withdrew his hand.
"Okay! Don't worry, I get that a lot."
"Jake didn't get food today." Leela told him. Jake sighed.
"I said I was sorry okay?"
"Sorry doesn't give us food Jake."
"Doesn't anybody see these sausages hanging around my neck?" Everybody looked at him.
"Whoa!" Grimer observed. "Roger, there're sausages around your neck! Neato! Are you going to share?"
"Of course! Unless you want me to let you all starve. I'm cool with that."
"NO!" Everyone said at once.
"Ah shucks! You know, this parody is making me a bit OC, but oh well!" He took of the sausages around his neck and threw them on the ground. "There, these sausages will have to do!" Everybody then dug in. They talked as they ate.
"Mmmm, these are great!" Leela observed. Jake looked at Roger.
"So how did you do it man?" Jake wanted to know. "What's the story?"
"Yeah!" Dudley added. "We really want to know!"
"Do you really want to know?" Roger asked them.
"Yeah!" Everybody said at once.
"Okay I'll tell you. I was cornered." Everyone gasped. "I had no place to hide and no place to run."
"Oh boy!" Dudley said to Jake. "This is really getting good!"
"I know!" Jake responded. "This is like PR Stine. I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about it!" He shivered to show what he meant.
"Staring into those burning eyes of his and vicious razor-sharp claws, I knew my time has come." Gary watched from the boardwalk. He felt one of the boards getting weak.
"With his blood-dripping fangs, he was getting closer and closer! Suddenly…" But Roger didn't get a chance in finishing his story.
At that moment, the boardwalk caved in. Gary fell hard to the floor. Everybody screamed.