Dear friends,

I know how you'll react to this letter, denying it till the end but you must understand that I had to do this.

These are a few of my reasons.

People see me as strong but I am anything but. Strong people don't betray the one's they care for and I have done that too many times, the first time you took me back I knew I had a lot to prove and I hope I did.

I tried to open up more, become less cold and distant but despite my efforts I failed miserably. So I closed myself off again realising that as long as I did that I wouldn't be hurt like I was when Wyatt died. But closing myself off only served to prove to you that I didn't care.

I do though I care more than you could ever know, that was why I bugged you all so much to train and become as good as I know you all can be. I was raised to believe that caring was weakness so I adapted how I showed caring I changed it from the usual way to a pushy strict way. I would make you all train so you were the best you could be but whenever I disappeared with no explanation I was doing it to guide you all to new challenges that would further help you improve.

I understand if you still don't understand my decision. I myself don't fully grasp my choice but then again it isn't exactly a choice. No one can help me and if I didn't do this I'd only end up suffering my way through the rest of my pitiful life becoming even more closed off and depressed.

My friends I'm sorry for this I truly am but you will come to accept it in time. I'm sure we'll see each other again but hopefully not anytime soon.

Kai.

With shaking hands he grabbed the blade that rested on the table. Turning the handle slightly in his hand he admired the way the light caught it, bouncing the rays in different directions all over the room. He stared down on the note he had just written a sudden urge to rip it up surfaced but reading through it he knew he was making the right choice.

Exhaling a resolved breath he brought the knife to his neck hoping this would be quicker than the wrist. Pressing the cold edge against his only slightly warmer skin he made a quick swipe. His free hand immediately grabbing the wound as blood poured out of it. His hand started tingling, the blade dropped from it as he lost all feeling to his fingers.

As he fell to his knees his life started to flash before his eyes, the majority of it was full of pain and loss but there were the select few that were happy, that made him forget his misery if but for a second made him see the brighter side of life. But it was too late now what he had done was irreversible and in a matter of minutes he'd be dead.

All went black as he slumped forwards; life draining from him the little blood still in his body seeped out forming a pool around him.

This is my first suicide story so please tell me how to improve it. Please read review thanks