A/N: ... I can't not write. It's like... Ehm, how do you say that? Unnatural for me.
Wow.
For those that never read 101 WWE-ficlets; It's like a secret newspaper, only the WWE-superstars and diva's get to read it.
Might be a three-shot. (Is that even a word?)
Ken stared at his desk. There was a newspaper on it, and Ken looked quite content with its contents.
"Chaos, panic and disaster." He mumbled to the piece of paper. "As soon as everyone reads this my work here will be done."
There was a knock on the door and Ken looked up in anticipation of his first victim.
"Yesss?" He yelled.
Rey stepped in, looking very Rey. "Hey," he said. "are they finished?"
Ken nodded and pointed at the pile of papers next to his desk. "I'd say hand 'em out." He said to Rey.
Rey smiled happily and took off with the pile of papers while yelling "WWE Revealed June edition, get one while it's still June!".
Several superstars and diva's took a paper from the pile and took off, to read the thing in silence and solitude. You never knew what could be in it, and nobody wanted to be amongst others if they read something embarrassing about themselves they'd rather have kept a secret.
The Phenom walked by and silently grabbed a paper off the pile, and disappeared into a closet.
"Damnit, get out." He said when he encountered Kane in the closet.
"I can't, I'm not ready to get out of the closet yet." Kane said smirking.
"Shut up." The Phenom opened the closetdoor, grabbed Kane and Chokeslammed him out of the closet.
"Time for myself." He said, while scanning the headlines and starting to read.
'In the closet, out the closet.
About three days ago we saw Kane disappear into a closet. Nobody knew what had gotten into him, but one of my, very reliable, sources has told me Kane is struggling with his identity. Or, as Kozlov said, he doesn't know how to be Glen anymore.
I myself think the problem isn't that complicated at all, I think I know why our Big Red Monster moved in with a couple of brooms... He's gay!
I decided to interview him to see if my expectations were true, and I'm very positive I'm actually right this time. The Big Red Machine will very soon become The Big Pink Machine.
In my interview with him I asked him who he considered the best-looking superstar at the moment. His answer, slightly hard to understand because there was a door between us, was "Regal.".
I'm not surprised, despite the fact I never have a clue what Regal is talking about, he does have something... And I don't mean the lady who accompanies him these days.
I also asked him if he thought he would ever be able to come out of the closet, and come clean with his secret identity. He answered pretty quickly, but I didn't know what he said.
"I sneezed, this closet is dusty." Kane replied after I begged him pardon. "And yes, I do."
"Then when will you come out?"
"Well..." He answered, "As soon as Regal admits he feels the same."
A little later I went to see William, and asked him if he felt the same. Regal's answer was quite short, and strong aswell.
"Shut up you fool, don't be such an idiot!"
I, and Kane, will take that as a 'no'.
This is all I know at this moment, but I promise, once I get more information considering the whole 'The Big Pink Machine'-story, you'll be the first to know!
-Ken Kennedy Kennedy.'
"Hmpf, all he needed was a little push to come out of this damn closet." The Undertaker mumbled. "I'm too good for my little brother these days."
'At last, he speaks.
It has happened, the day has come. No, scratch that, the day has even passed already!
The Great Khali, also known as the Punjabi Giant, has spoken! And not only has he spoken, he has spoken in english, so for once I actually knew what he was talking about.
I encountered him earlier this week at the mall, where he was teaching children how to beat up translators.
When he spotted me he turned around and said, "I hail from Green Bay Wisconsinnnnnnn.".
I decided to ask him why he never told me that, and why I never saw him there before... I mean, he isn't that hard to miss, now is he?
"Kennedyyyyyy!" Was his answer to that question, and then it hit me.
He had no idea what he was talking about.
But still, the Great Khali has spoken words I understood, and I'm very proud of him for that... Even though I will have to kill him now.
Nobody yells 'Kennedy' in the middle of a mall but myself.
-Ken Kennedy Kennedy.'
'Taker smirked. "I wonder if there's footage of that on YouNoob."
'Not -that- cold.
Stone Cold Steve Austin. His name suggests he is a cold man. A cold, and very rocky man named Steve.
I know this is besides the point, but who names their son Steve? I think Kenneth sounds much better, at least if I ever fail as a wrestler, I can join the Muppet-show and form a duo with Kermit.
I already have a title for our first show; 'Kenneth and Kermit Kill Kane Quietly'. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
Now for the story... Steve was trying out a new entrance, with different pyrotechnics and music.
He came up looking very bold and bald, and he did a little dance on his way to the ring. Everyone was watching Steve as he showed off his latest dancemoves.
Sad thing though was, Steve forgot about the fireworks. So when he danced in one place a little too long, he was set on fire by fireworks that went off a bit too early.
Steve actually started to burn, and MVP asked me if he was practising for an Inferno-match. I said no and jumped over the announce-table I was sitting behind, and ran up to Steve, who was still burning.
I shoved my taperecorder up his nose and asked him how this was possible, since he was supposed to be -cold-.
"Nrrrggggh... Gaaaaaaahhhh..." Was his strange reply to this.
I suggested he'd buy himself a dictionary and study for a while, even Kozlov has smarter replies.
But really, Steve... You're not -that- cold, so stop pretending and join me for a beer or two later on.
-Ken Kennedy Kennedy.'
"So that was Steve I smelled! I thought someone was eating chicken!" 'Taker yelled.
"You wanna say that to my face, asshole?" Austin yelled from the other side of the door.
'Taker opened the door and stared at Austin, who immediately took a step back, right into Kane.
He turned around and came face to face with, quite an angry looking, Big Pink Machine. "Move." Kane said to Austin.
Austin, not a tiny man himself, was slightly intimidated and ran off.
"Get outta ma closet dude." Kane mumbled to The Phenom.
"Make me..." 'Taker replied.
After a little fight, that by the way was won by the Undertaker, Kane went away to search for a new closet, and 'Taker returned to his own.
"Kids these days." Rey heard him mumble before he closed the door again.
Hmmm, that was 1/3. I'm tired, will write more later, like in a few days.