Rage
by dilly r
Obi-Wan defeated his rage when he fought Darth Maul. Even if he tried to recapture it now, he wouldn't be able.
There are times when he misses rage.
He does not get angry with Anakin. Obi-Wan's patience seems, in fact, to infuriate Anakin, but Obi-Wan can only smile at Anakin or withdraw inside of himself -- it depends. But never rage. The closest he gets is frustration. Even when he can see Anakin destroying himself, he can only try harder to make things right.
They have been away from Coruscant for three months handling mercenaries and refugees and all of those usual suspects. Despite himself, he is not surprised to see them kissing. They are less careful after a long mission.
Anakin has his head bent down, and Padmé has her chin tilted up. A slender strip of light runs down the length of her neck, but for the most part, they are hidden in the shadow cast by the column they stand behind.
Obi-Wan imagines himself pulling them apart. He imagines himself shaking Anakin by his shoulders, asking him what the hell he thinks he's doing with these chances he's been given. He could still be a slave if he were not a Padawan. He could very well be dead. If the Council found out about this, Anakin might lose his chance to become a Knight. He was so close now; how dare he risk it?
Barring that -- he would like to be angry, furious, enraged. Shaking with a fury burning inside of his stomach or his heart or wherever the fury used to burn when he felt rage. Angry that Anakin so easily betrays his position for love. Angry that he, Obi-Wan, never allowed the same emotion to conquer him, no matter how much he wanted it to. Angry that Qui-Gon chose Anakin. Angry that Padmé chose Anakin.
But he doesn't feel anything. He watches them for a moment, then he withdraws in silence, to give them their stolen time alone.