Lament of the Watchmen
(Parody of 'Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm' by the Crash Test Dummies)
…
Once there was this guy who
Raped a bunch of women and shot kiddies in Vietnam,
But when he finally came back,
He got murdered while wearing a bathrobe.
They said it was a burglar
Who tossed him through the window.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Once there was this guy who
Wore a mask of ink blots with a twisted sense of justice,
But when they finally caught him,
They smelled urine all over his body.
They couldn't quite explain it,
It'd always just been there.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Once there was this guy who
Screwed up an experiment that changed him into Smurf man,
But when he finally came back,
He found his Mr. Happy was showing.
He couldn't quite explain it,
It'd always just been there.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Once there was this girl who
Walked around in latex getting horny with the Smurf man,
But when they finally broke up,
She went to stay with overweight Clark Kent.
She couldn't quite explain it,
He'd always just been fat.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Once there was this guy who
Beat up criminals with gadgets like a cosplay Batman.
But when he got 'it' way up,
He went on a fighting spree with inmates.
He couldn't quite explain it,
He'd never ever got laid.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
But the world was in a fix,
With Reds, nukes and President Nix.
So then there was this guy who
Had a wizard plan to detonate a ton of cities,
And when his plan unraveled,
He framed the Smurf man and his giant wang.
He couldn't quite explain it,
It'd always disturbed him.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.