Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or any of the characters mentioned in this story, nor do I own the song And Still (sung by Reba Mcentire)

Over a million of people live in this city and I had to run into him. When I saw him there on that busy street, painful memories and my biggest regrets resurfaced from the darkest depths of my consciousness where I had buried them, praying that I'd never think about them again. But it all came back as I stood there, admiring him in his dark blue jeans and a black tee shirt.

I still could remember the day my heart broke for the final time, never to be whole again. It was the day he told me that he was getting married.

I remember the room spinning and my heart constricting, and I remember thinking that it was all my fault.

Long before that day, he had offered me an new life, a new chance at love but I had turned him down, instead I had taken another offer, one I had been waiting years for. I had taken the chance to be with Grissom, to finally be with the man, who I believed to be the love of my life. I had never thought that I could be wrong. I had never thought that all the time I had actually been in love with him. I had never thought it was possible to be in love with my best friend until the day I lost him. Until the day I was too late.

While I had been busy with the rollercoaster ride that was my relationship with Grissom, I had missed him recover from my rejection, move on and fall in love with someone else.

I still could see him standing in the break room announcing that he was getting married. I still could remember the smile on his face as he watched his bride walk down the aisle. I still could feel the bitter tears that fell down my face that same day, while I had lain in my bed. Alone.

Shaking myself out of that particular memory, I decided to move before he caught me watching him. I contemplated hiding in one of the shops or turning around and walking back the path I've come from, but then he turned his head in my direction and his eyes instantly locked with mine. The world seemed to stand still for a moment and I held my breath. A smile spread across his face when he recognized me. His smile so beautiful, it almost made me cry.

"Sara? I can't believe it's you." I noted the genuine surprise in his voice as he stopped in front of me, his smile only getting brighter, mesmerizing me in that way only his smile could.

"Hey, Nick." I managed to say and tried to smile genuinely, but I couldn't do it. It hurt too much to see him. It hurt too much to remember. Instead I plastered my best fake smile on my lips. It was something I've perfected over the course of years.

"How have you been?" He asked, his eyes roaming over me, setting my whole body on fire. He still had that effect on me, even after all these years.

"Oh, I can't complain. I'm doing fine." A (little) lie had never hurt anyone, right?

"What are you doing here? In my city?" Nick asked, somewhat awkward and I told him about the conference for forensics and about the presentation. I didn't tell him that I've feared of meeting him again, knowing that he was the head of the days shift at the San Diego crime lab or that I had made calls to the SD lab to ask if he'd attend the conference, which he didn't. I didn't tell him how much I hated Las Vegas after he had left. I didn't tell him how empty my life was without him, how much I hated myself for rejecting him.

Instead we carried on with our small talk. We laughed about old times and all we went through, shared stories about old friends and old lives.
Unexpectedly he stepped forward and hugged me, whispering I've missed you in my ear. Tears sprung to my eyes as my arms held him to me. "I've missed you too." I replied but he will never know how much I really missed him.
His arms loosened around me and he took a step back, looking down at me. The look in his eyes enflamed old, warm feelings and I quickly averted my eyes. For a moment neither said anything and just as I was about to say something lame, like 'lovely weather', I saw her walk up to him.

She was still so beautiful like I remembered her. Dark blond hair framing her slightly round face. I immediately noticed her left hand that was adorned with a gold wedding band, safely on top of her pregnant belly. Every bit of air fled my body and I thought that a punch into the gut couldn't possibly feel worse. I saw her smaller hand grab his and I chanced a look at Nick. Was it guilt that flickered over his handsome features?

"Sara, do you remember my wife?" Oh, and how I could remember. It was a fact I was doomed to never forget. Susan Adams Stokes.

I gave my best smile as I shook her hand but I was dying inside. They were expecting a baby. A feeling of nausea wafted over me and I wanted either to go to my hotel room and sob or go to the next bar and get extremely drunk. Instead, I offered my congratulations and Nick beamed at me, telling me it's going to be a girl.

"I'm happy for you." I honestly said. I've always known that he wanted a family and it seemed that his wish was coming true.

"Honey," she said. "we've gotta go now, it's getting late." He nodded at her and then looked at me again.

"It was good to see you." Nick said and I smiled, yet again plastering a fake smile upon my face.

"You too. Bye." I said before I watched them walk away, hand in hand. He hadn't offered to stay in contact and I hadn't made promises to call. He, just like me knew that those promises would never be fulfilled. It was our last goodbye, maybe even closure, a sign to move on.

Still, the world stood still. I couldn't move and all I could feel was this aching in my heart, saying I loved him still.

TBC