Blackness, a Coach / Smoker fanfiction
One day Coach woke up to realize he was alone in the safe room. He looked at the disgusting white blanket he had been hugging all night and spat on it.
"Damn yo, you ain't Blallis" he said with a voice full of disgust (A/N: Nick and Ellis are black in this fic if u have something against that ur racist!)
He took all the pills and health kits and got out of the safe room. Suddenly a familiar smell entered his nose and spread throughout his body. He remembered the smell and the KFC guy too well.
"Fuck this survival shit I'm gonna go eat sum chicken" he said to himself
But oh no, the road was blocked and he had to get in a field of corn that blocked out the amazing smell of KFC. Displeased, Couch started shooting the corn. He kept shooting until something exploded and got all over his face. It was like every time he shot a Boomer that was right next to him, except this time the substance seemed to be edible. It was…..
…..
.
….
…..watermelon.
"Shit man I'm in heaven" Couch said as he jumped into the pile of KFC and watermelon.
"Don't use heaven in the same sentence as such a horrible word" A smoker priest said and started hitting coach with his Bible. "You need to come to church with me so I can cleanse your soul."
"But what about the KFC restaurant and all this food someone dumped in the cornfield?" Couch whined
"No buts, I am going to baptize you and your soul will become as shiny as my tumors ok"
"No fuq u I do wat I want" Coach said and stabbed Smoker in the dick. BUT Smoker had a spare Bible in his pants and it protected him from Couch's evil knife!1