Sunrise
Shun had never liked the theatre.
It just wasn't his idea of a good time. He preferred to be outdoors, hiking or bird watching, completely surrounded by nature.
And yet here he sat, late on a Friday evening, more than halfway through a production of The Phantom of the Opera.
He didn't mind though, not tonight.
Not when sat beside him was his new boyfriend, Yuya Sakaki.
Yuya loved the theatre, and although Shun did not, he was keen to make a good impression. Their relationship was very new after all, and things were complicated to say the least…
When Shun and Yuya had begun dating, they were both already in a relationship… and with the same person, Yuto.
Yuya and Yuto had been together for a couple months, but Yuto had made it clear from the beginning that he had always had a thing for Shun. Surprisingly, Yuya actually hadn't minded at all, he even encouraged it, and within a few months, Yuto and Shun had also started a relationship together.
Yuya of course was more than happy to share Yuto's love, as was Shun, but there was never any talk between the three of them of all becoming an item. Shun and Yuya had just never shown that kind of interest in each other. This all changed however, when, three weeks ago, Yuto suggested the two of them go on a date together. Shun had been sceptical at first, but after two more of these dates he had soon found that he liked Yuya just as much as he did Yuto.
This is where the problem lay. Shun liked him a lot, but Yuya had barely shown any sign of reciprocating that, at least not on a physical level anyway. It was driving him crazy; they had been together for over three weeks and they hadn't so much as held hands.
He wanted more… no, he needed more.
Shun shifted in his seat, wary of his thoughts. He glanced at Yuya in the seat next him, his eyes finding the boy's face and staying there.
For the past hour he had forced himself to try to watch the show, but it had become increasingly difficult with how animated Yuya was beside him. He would react to literally everything that happened on stage, gasping or yelping at even the most minor of developments. Shun probably would have found it distracting had it not been for how cute he sounded. Well, that and the fact that Shun was already well beyond distracted by the boy himself. He was just… beautiful.
His smile was what got him first, it always did; Shun's eyes just seemed to gravitate towards it whenever he so much as glanced his way. It was as infectious as it was warm, lighting a fire inside him and causing his own mouth to involuntarily turn upwards at the corners. Yuya just had that effect on people, but for some reason Shun seemed to be more susceptible to it than anyone.
If it wasn't his signature smile, it was Yuya's eyes that always seemed to draw Shun's attention. They were so full of life and excitement; you could feel their energy, feel his spirit, just by looking into them. They had Shun captivated, and that was without even mentioning their colour. A brilliant red, they glistened with all the intensity of a marquise diamond, but unlike such a flawless and well refined stone, they held a roughness more akin to an uncut ruby. Their edges and shape weren't perfect, but that's why Shun loved them so much. They were genuine and human, just like Yuya himself. They made him unique.
Shun bit his lip. He was staring again. Thankfully Yuya hadn't noticed, he was far too enthralled in what was happening on stage.
Shun clenched and unclenched his fingers. Drumming them silently on the arm of his seat, he watched as Yuya grabbed some popcorn from the bucket nestled in his lap. He knew what was coming next.
Opening his lips an inch, Yuya pushed a piece into his mouth and chewed it lightly, before slowly swallowing what was left. Shun felt a sudden heat begin to creep up his neck, the not-so subtle movement of Yuya's throat stirring his imagination. It reminded him all too well of a more 'intimate' moment he had recently shared with Yuto.
He could feel his cheeks burning at the thought; it was so easy to imagine, Yuya and Yuto just looked that similar.
But what of the differences between the two?
Shun continued to stare, eyes following Yuya's hands all the way up to his mouth as he slipped another piece between his lips.
How different would those hands feel on his body? Would they be rough and desperate, touching and clawing with an insatiable hunger as Yuto's did? Or would they be soft and gentle, stroking and caressing everywhere they went, taking their time to tease and satisfy?
After a few more pieces, Yuya finished up by licking his lips and tilting his head to one side.
Shun swallowed hard. He was starting to sweat, his body temperature rising. The tips of his fingers tingled with desire, his skin now warm and flushed. He felt a familiar pressure in his lower half, his jeans having become uncomfortably tight.
Catching Shun's gaze, Yuya smiled sweetly at him.
Shun froze. He was caught.
He didn't care how it looked though; he was well beyond that now. Even if he wanted to he couldn't tear his eyes away from Yuya's mouth… he just had to kiss him, he had to…
Shun leaned over the armrest of his chair instinctively, bringing his face closer to Yuya's. He looked startled, scared even, but Shun couldn't resist. Yuya was his drug and he needed his fix.
Shun closed his eyes and pushed on, his body moving like clockwork. He was ready, ready to finally feel the warmth of those luscious pink lips…
…but that feeling never came.
Instead he felt two forceful hands on his shoulders, pushing him away. "Shun stop," he heard Yuya whisper, his voice loud enough to be heard by everyone sat around them. Shun's eyes flew open to find him staring anxiously back at him, red faced and looking absolutely mortified.
Shun immediately moved off of him and shrank back down into his seat, ashamed. The people on the row in front had all turned around and were now glaring at him, silently judging. He pulled his coat around him and covered his face with his sleeve. He was embarrassed yes, but it was nothing compared to the guilt he was now feeling. The frightened look on Yuya's face was enough to turn his stomach; to know he'd just hurt such a precious and innocent boy because of his stupid lack of self-control made him want to run straight for the bathroom. He felt physically sick.
Is this it? he thought to himself. Have I blown it? Is it over between us? What's Yuto going to think? Will even he want me after this?
For the next hour, Shun didn't so much as glance at Yuya. Instead he just buried himself in his coat and scarf, unable to look anywhere but at his feet. Eventually the show came to a close, with the curtain falling and the lights returning soon after. It was followed by a rapturous round of applause, but neither Shun nor Yuya were clapping. When it came time to leave, they made their way out of the theatre in complete silence. Shun was going to say something when they finally made it out onto the street, but Yuya beat him to it.
"Umm, thanks for taking me out tonight… I'll see you later," he mumbled hurriedly. He waved awkwardly before turning on his heel to leave.
"Yuya wait," Shun called out after him, desperate to say something, anything, to make things better.
Yuya either didn't hear or he chose to ignore him because he disappeared around the corner without so much as a glance back.
Shun put his head in his hands. This had pretty much confirmed it for him, he'd ruined everything. His behaviour tonight had done nothing but show Yuya how uncaring and insensitive he was.
Hands shaking, he pulled out his phone from his pocket and quickly dialled a number. It rang several times before he heard a voice down the other end.
"Shun? Is that you?"
"Yuto, we need to talk… can I come over?"
-o-o-o-
Forty-five minutes after the incident at the theatre, Shun found himself in Yuto's apartment, sitting anxiously on his bed.
He wasn't sure what to think anymore. He'd explained everything to Yuto when he had arrived, but his boyfriend hadn't seemed too worried. He had assured him that, despite what Shun thinks, Yuya would never hate him. That had helped, but his assurances could only go so far. Yuya might not hate him, but did he truly like him? His actions (or lack thereof) said otherwise.
"You know, you should try smiling once in a while."
Shun looked up to find Yuto standing in the bathroom doorway, hands on his hips. He was wearing nothing but a pair of thin grey boxers. Had it not been for what happened, Shun wouldn't have had him standing there long. Tonight just wasn't the night for that however.
"I don't know what to do Yuto," he sighed, leaning back against the pillows he'd stacked behind him.
"About what?" Yuto came around the side of the bed and propped some more pillows up, before sitting down beside him.
"About Yuya, I'm starting to think he doesn't actually like me."
"Why do you say that? Is this because he won't kiss you?"
"Well, yeah… but also because it's been four dates already and we haven't even held hands yet."
Yuto didn't say anything.
"See, even you think it's weird. Maybe this relationship wasn't such a good idea after all…"
"Please don't say that," Yuto whispered. He sounded a little hurt.
Shun felt even worse now. He apologised quietly and tried to get up, not wanting to ruin things further tonight. Before he'd had time to move however, he was stopped by Yuto's hand tightly gripping at his wrist.
"I love you both, Shun. You and Yuya. I can't imagine my life without you both in it. That's why I want all of us to be happy, together."
Shun sighed and leaned back once more. He took Yuto's hand in his and squeezed it. "I love you too," he whispered, bringing their hands to his mouth and gently laying a kiss on Yuto's knuckles. "Things between Yuya and I… they're just difficult."
Yuto leaned his head on Shun's shoulder. "He likes you, trust me… we talk about you all the time."
"What? Really?" Shun's voice jumped a pitch higher.
Yuto couldn't help but laugh. "Of course."
"What do you say about me? What does he say?"
"It wouldn't be fair if I told you, but like I said, trust me. He definitely likes you, he just has trouble showing it."
"Oh…" Shun understood Yuto's reasoning for not telling him exactly what Yuya had said, but did he really have to be so cryptic?
"If you want to get closer to him, you need to better express how you feel… and in a way that's not intimidating for him."
"How can I if he won't even-"
"No, not like that." Yuto gave him a playful but disapproving slap on the arm. "You can't force him into anything and neither can I; he has to do this at his own pace."
"Okay okay I get it." Shun gave his head a little nudge with his shoulder. "Just tell me what I can do."
Unclasping their hands, Yuto climbed into Shun's lap and smirked. "You should start simple," he hinted, pushing his knees down either side of his hips.
"This isn't helping," Shun breathed, Yuto's ass now resting firmly on his crotch.
Yuto rolled his hips. Shun couldn't help but let out a breathy moan, his pent-up frustration on full display.
"You should buy him a gift," he teased, running his fingers over the bare skin of Shun's arms.
"A gift?"
He slung his arms around Shun's shoulders and looked him in the eye. He shifted his weight onto his knees, easing the pressure on his groin. "Yeah, show him you care. Get him something sweet and thoughtful, like I know you can be."
Shun liked the sound of the idea. Yuto was definitely onto something.
"So, like a romantic one?" he asked innocently.
Yuto let out an exaggerated sigh and shook his head. "Yes Shun, 'like a romantic one…' He is your boyfriend after all."
Shun nodded and smiled. "Our boyfriend," he corrected, tangling a hand in his hair.
"Our boyfriend…" Yuto repeated softly, his voice trailing off as he pulled Shun into a deep, passionate kiss.
-o-o-o-
The next morning, Shun was ready to make things right.
He was stood on the street outside Yuya's home, fidgeting nervously, flowers and chocolate in hand. His gifts were cliché, he knew that, but it was the best he could do. As Yuto was fond of telling him, he wasn't exactly a romantic. That being said, he had tried to make the presents he'd chosen as special as possible.
With his limited knowledge of floriography, he had picked the only flowers he knew actually meant something- roses. They were a classic red, and although he had bought them from the supermarket on the way over here, they looked stunning. This was of course down to Yuri's handiwork. Shun had stopped at his place before coming here, and despite his reluctance, had convinced Yuri to help him. It had certainly paid off; Yuri had transformed Shun's rather dull and lifeless arrangement into a beautiful bouquet, complete with ribbons and a small, pink bow.
Much like the flowers, Shun had gone to great lengths to make sure the chocolates were just as special. He had assurances from Sora that Yuya had a particular liking for bonbons, so that's exactly what he had gone searching for. As it turned out, a nearby chocolatier had had quite the selection. He had even managed to have them wrapped in a heart-shaped box- a gesture he was sure Yuya of all people would appreciate.
Shun held onto both gifts tightly, making sure not to drop or damage them. He hesitantly began to walk the path towards Yuya's home, his breathing quickening as he went. He stopped at the doorstep and readied himself.
He was a little nervous and hadn't really thought about what he was going to say. Ideally, he wouldn't have to say too much; he wasn't exactly great with words. He was hoping the gifts themselves would serve as an apology, and also prove to Yuya that his intentions were of course pure.
Shun rapped his fist on the door and tried to keep calm. To his surprise, it swung open seconds later to reveal a tired looking Yuya, his hair messy and his clothes unkempt. He wore a loose t-shirt and a baggy pair of sweatpants, giving Shun the impression he had only just woken up.
"A little late to still be in bed," Shun tried, offering him a tentative smile.
Yuya rubbed his eyes and looked up at Shun, a little confused. After clocking the flowers in his hand, his expression quickly changed. Within a split-second his mouth had spread wide into his signature smile, his eyes pinching at the corners as emotion took hold of his ever-innocent face.
"Are those for me?!" he cried, rushing forwards to meet him.
"Of course they are…" Shun felt himself blush furiously. Yuya's genuine excitement always seemed to tug on his heartstrings.
"Shun this is so sweet of you! Please come in, come in." Yuya turned and ushered him on inside with a wave of his hand. Shun followed into the hallway, closing the door behind him. He made his way into the kitchen where Yuya stood waiting. Shun set the flowers and chocolates down on the table as Yuya filled up a vase with water. "Nobody has ever brought me flowers like this! Are they roses?"
"Yeah, I hope you like them." Shun watched as Yuya carefully submerged them in the vase, a huge grin still painted on his face. "I had Yuri help arrange them though, you know how good he is with this sort of thing."
"That's so thoughtful!" Yuya turned his attention to the box of chocolates and began to carefully unwrap them. "Ahh these are my favourites too! Did you get Yuto some as well?"
Shun scratched the back of his neck, a little flustered. "To be honest, no," he laughed nervously. "These are just for you."
Yuya looked fit to burst with happiness. Setting the box back down on the table, he turned to Shun and grabbed him by the waist, pulling him into a hug. He squeezed him tightly, burying his face in the collar of his shirt.
Shun couldn't believe what was happening. Yuya was hugging him, he was actually hugging him.
Not wasting a second, he wrapped his arms around his smaller body and held him close to his chest, his hands resting gently on the top of his back. He inhaled sharply as Yuya's hair was pushed into his face, green and red locks brushing lightly over his nose.
Considering Yuya had only just woken up, he smelled divine. The sweet scent of his shampoo was intoxicating, flooding Shun's senses with a heady mix of mango and passion fruit.
"Thank you," Yuya whispered, his voice a little shaky.
He began to pull away, but Shun instinctively clung on. He was too caught up in the moment; the smell of his hair and the warmth of his body leaving him spellbound, unable to let go.
Yuya leaned his head back and looked up at him, his eyes wide with uncertainty. A dusting of pink had settled across his cheeks, making it plainly obvious what he was thinking- and Shun was thinking it too.
Shun's gaze drifted to Yuya's lips, the same lips he had been so close to kissing not twenty-four hours ago.
Was this the right time?
Yuya looked unsure, but nowhere near as startled or scared as last time.
Shun felt a familiar urge inside of him. It was willing him to go for it, to take Yuya's lips between his own and never look back.
Trailing his hand up Yuya's neck and on to his chin, he gently tilted his head upwards until their mouths were aligned.
So far so good.
Yuya blinked back at him. He was starting to bite his lip.
Shun's urge only intensified at the sight. He leaned closer, their noses almost touching now. He could feel Yuya's hot breath ghosting over his lips, teasing him, begging him to try something.
Shun didn't hesitate. He closed his eyes and leaned forwards, crashing his mouth into…
…something?
Shun opened his eyes to find he had missed Yuya's mouth entirely and was in fact kissing the palm of his hand instead. He pulled back immediately and quickly let go of him, knowing something was wrong.
Yuya had his hands raised defensively, almost as if Shun was going to punch him. He wore the same expression he had done in the theatre, his beautiful smile once again being replaced by an anxious frown. His bottom lip was trembling slightly, his eyes downcast and tearful.
Shun reached out a hand to try and comfort him.
"Yuya I'm-"
Yuya recoiled at his touch, pulling his hands to his chest like a scared rabbit.
"I-I… I'm sorry!" he cried, bursting into tears.
Shun tried to reach out again; to reassure him, to apologise, anything to stop him feeling this way.
Yuya slapped his hand away and ran out of the kitchen sobbing. Shun wanted to run after him, but he had a feeling he'd only make things worse. The guilt, the regret, the helplessness… it all felt so familiar, and he had no-one to blame but himself.
After listening to Yuya slam the door to his room, Shun silently made his way out the front door and closed it behind him… wiping his eyes with his sleeve as he went.
-o-o-o-
By the time Shun made it back to Yuto's place any tears he may (or may not) have had were gone, but this had not stopped Yuto from noticing the obvious.
"Have you been crying?" he asked as Shun slumped down on the sofa.
"No," he replied sternly, folding his arms.
Yuto sighed and came to sit beside him. "It's okay if you were." He placed a reassuring hand on his knee. "Can you tell me what happened?"
"I ruined it, again," Shun answered pointedly. "I gave him the presents and he loved them, he even hugged me, but then I fucked it all up."
"What went wrong?"
"I tried to kiss him again… I thought things were different this time, he looked like he wanted to, I could see it in his face… but when I tried to, he got scared and pushed me away."
"Have you thought about why he's scared?"
"Yuto enough with this," Shun begged. "You have to tell me what I'm doing wrong. For the sake of our relationship, please."
Yuto looked at him for a second before nodding. "You're right, I'm sorry." He gave his knee a light squeeze. "The truth is, he's scared because he's new to this Shun."
"How do you mean? Aren't all three of us new to this?"
"No, I mean he's new to you. Before he and I got together he had never been in a relationship before, I learned pretty fast he just doesn't easily trust new people in that way."
"Oh…" Shun turned to face him, still very confused. "He's kissed you though, hasn't he?"
"Well, yeah… but we've been together a while and I've built up that level of trust with him."
"Have you… you know...?"
Yuto looked away, a little embarrassed. "No, not yet… I'm happy to take it at his own pace though, he deserves as much."
Shun felt a pang of guilt. He turned away and put his head in his hands.
"The way I've been acting… he'll only think I'm after one thing now."
"Shun he doesn't think that at all. As I've said before, he actually really really likes you, and believe me, he wants it to work between all three of us. You just have to make sure he's comfortable expressing himself to you first."
Shun looked up from his hands. "How can I do that though? I tried to be romantic, I tried to be thoughtful… what more can I do?"
"There's only really one thing you can do now: tell him how you truly feel. Let him know how much you care and how much you want to be with him. It worked for me."
"But he knows I like him."
"Yeah but he doesn't know how much."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Yuto raised an eyebrow. "Come on Shun it's painfully obvious. You look at him in the exact same way you look at me."
That much was true, and it made Shun smile. "That's the problem," he started, shaking his head. "I want to do all the things I do to you, but to him as well. I can't tell him that."
"Then tell him why you like him."
Was this really a good idea? Would it really help things?
"I don't know about this…"
"Come on, just think. What is it you like about him?"
"Umm, his face?" he answered, shrugging.
Yuto rolled his eyes. "I think you can do better than that."
"Ok ok…" he sighed, leaning backwards and staring off into space. It didn't take long for him to come up with a better answer. "His smile… I love his smile."
"Go on." Yuto encouraged him to continue.
"It makes me happy when I see it, like… I don't know, I feel warm inside." Shun could feel the heat in his cheeks rising. He wasn't used to talking so openly about his feelings.
"That's good, what else?"
"His eyes. They're big and red and they make it hard to look away sometimes. Oh, and I like his lips too of course, and his body… it's so perfect it makes me want to-"
Yuto coughed, interrupting him and his train of thought.
"What about his personality?" he laughed, noticing how pink Shun's face was turning.
Shun laughed a little himself to try and ease his embarrassment. "Well, he's bubbly and just so full of energy… the opposite of you really." For that comment, he earned a playful jab in the ribs from Yuto's elbow. "Hey I didn't mean it like that!"
"Then how did you mean it?" Yuto grinned.
"I meant it like you both have different personalities, but they complement each other perfectly." Yuto gestured for him to continue, which he did reluctantly. "You're strong and fierce, which I love… but then there's Yuya who's all soft and innocent."
"So you're saying I'm not innocent," Yuto smirked, sliding his hand down the inside of Shun's thigh.
"Definitely not."
They both laughed as Yuto climbed up into his lap, his boyfriend more than willing to prove his point. He slung his arms around Shun's neck and stared into his eyes.
"Do you remember what you said to me that night?" he whispered, grinning uncontrollably.
"What night?" Shun asked suspiciously.
"The night you told me you liked me. You know, back in eleventh grade." Shun's puzzled expression didn't change. "You were drunk."
"Oh, that night." Shun's face turned a shade redder as he remembered the hazy events of that particular evening.
"What was it you said to me when we were lying in that field? 'Your eyes shine like the moon and you're just as hard to reach' was it?"
Shun couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, something like that. It was… embarrassing."
"Maybe for you. I thought it was really sweet." Yuto gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Once Yuya sees that side of you, he'll love you just like I do. I'm sure of it."
"I was drunk I'm not going to say stuff like that to him!"
"Come onnnnn, I know you have it in you." He tilted his head to the side and smirked. "It makes perfect sense: If I'm the moon, then Yuya has to be the sun, right?"
"Then what does that make me?" Shun snorted.
"…our world."
With a cheeky wink, Yuto slowly leaned forwards and pressed their lips together, his hands sliding up Shun's shirt and onto his chest. Shun closed his eyes as he felt his wandering fingers dance lightly over his ribs, each one trailing a line down towards his hips.
"There'll be time for this later," Yuto whispered, pulling away.
Shun whined at the loss of his lips and hands, but he was quickly brought back to his senses when Yuto clambered off him in search of his phone. He grabbed it from the table and began tapping in some numbers.
"What are you doing?" Shun had a feeling, and he wasn't sure it was a great idea.
"Making sure you get enough sun," Yuto quipped. He pressed the call button before shoving the phone into Shun's hand.
Of course, after only two rings, Yuya (who else) picked up.
"Hello? Yuto?"
Shun panicked, looking to Yuto for help. For his troubles, all he got was the word "go"mouthed silently back at him.
He tentatively put the phone to his ear and readied himself, his softest voice on standby.
"Yuya? It's Shun. Can I come see you? I need to tell you something…"
-o-o-o-
Shun was stood, once again, at the foot of Yuya's garden. This would be the final time he visited him today- there would be no second chances. If things didn't go well, Shun would just have to accept that it wasn't meant to be. He couldn't go on like this; he needed Yuya to open up to him, to help him understand how he can help things, or their relationship just wouldn't work.
Shun approached the door and knocked without hesitation. He knew no-one would answer besides Yuya because he had told him to come over late in the evening when his parents would be out. This gave Shun the impression he thought that their talk wasn't going to end well.
Yuya eventually opened the door and gestured for him to enter.
"We can talk in my room," he said quietly, leaving Shun to close the door and follow him up the stairs. They didn't exchange any words as they made it onto the landing; Yuya just pointed to a door on his right and walked right in. Shun followed him inside and closed the door behind him. He had never been in Yuya's room before.
It was quite spacious and nowhere near as cluttered as he thought it would be. Aside from the posters of Yusho and the fireman's pole that extended down into the kitchen, it looked like any other bedroom.
Yuya sat down on the edge of his bed and put his hands in his lap. "W-What is it you wanted to talk about?" he asked anxiously. He sounded afraid.
Shun felt a little uneasy at hearing Yuya sound so frightened. He probably shouldn't have been so ambiguous on the phone; Yuya was probably scared stiff trying to work out why Shun wanted to talk to face-to-face.
"I wanted to talk about how things are between us." Yuya's face fell. He looked even more fearful now. Shun came and sat beside him, hoping it might ease his mind. "No no, it's nothing like that," he tried to assure him, knowing exactly what he thought he meant. "I just want to talk about how I can make things better between us."
Yuya appeared to relax slightly at hearing this. His anxious frown persisted however.
"You don't like the way things are?" His voice was quiet and tentative, like he could burst into tears at any moment.
Despite Yuya's fragility, Shun knew he had to get this out of his system, for better or worse.
"I do… I just… I know I'm not as close to you as Yuto is, but-"
"Shun we don't have to talk about this," Yuya interrupted, his shoulders tensing.
"We do Yuya…" Shun ran a hand through his hair and turned to face him. "The truth is… I really like you, but I want to love you. I find it hard to express that; I don't mean to be pushy or make you uncomfortable… I just want to able to love you like I love Yuto."
Yuya blinked back at him, expression unreadable. After a few tense moments he turned away, his eyes dropping to his feet.
"I'm sorry…" he sniffed, holding back tears.
"For what?"
"It's my fault."
"What? No…"
"I want to love you too, I really do…" He wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. "…and I want all three of us to be together, it's just… I get so scared around you…"
Shun wanted to comfort him, to reassure him that it was all okay, to tell him that he didn't have to be afraid anymore. But he couldn't do that. He needed answers.
"Why do I scare you?" he asked, as gently as possible.
Yuya didn't look up. "I-I feel intimidated when you try things. I don't have a lot of experience and I don't want to do things wrong in case you think… I'm not good enough. You're tall and handsome and you know so much, and I'm, well…" He broke down, sobbing into the palms of his hands.
Shun understood now. Yuya wasn't afraid of him, he was afraid of disappointing him. Because Shun was so new to him and so much more experienced, he doubted his own self-worth.
"…you're beautiful," Shun whispered, nerves now gripping his stomach.
Yuya looked up, blinking away his tears. "What?"
"I said you're beautiful." Shun swallowed his butterflies and looked him dead in the eye. "I'm no good at this, but trust me when I say you are. I fell for you, all of you, because you make me feel things no-one else can." His words felt clunky and unnatural to him, but his feelings were genuine and he just hoped that Yuya would see that.
Yuya didn't show any outward reaction. He got up and went to stand by the window, facing completely away from him. "Do you really mean that?"
"Of course I mean it. I really like you Yuya and you make me happy, that's why I'm here. I want to make things better for you, I don't care how long it takes or what I have to do." Shun rose to his feet as well and took a few steps towards him.
There was a moment of silence as Yuya contemplated Shun's response. "So you don't care that I'm not good at things like… I don't know, kissing?" He turned to face him.
Shun noticed his bottom lip was trembling. "Why should that matter?" he asked, shaking his head. "Being in a relationship is all about learning and growing together. I'm not going to judge you for what you don't know or can't do; we can take those steps together, and if you ever want to take it further, both Yuto and I will help you do that."
"Shun… I-I-" Yuya's words were lost in a flood of tears. He surged forwards and grabbed hold of Shun's waist, pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry," he cried, hiding his face in the thick fabric of his trench coat.
Shun held him close, whispering in his ear over and over that it was all going to be okay. He ran a soothing hand through his hair, lovingly stroking it until he had started to calm down. Eventually Yuya stopped crying and looked up, his big red eyes shimmering with raw emotion.
"I need to trust you more," he whispered, pulling back a little. "And I think… I think I should try to start now." He leaned up and moved his mouth closer to Shun's, his lips hovering in place, waiting for him to make a move.
Shun's heart skipped a beat.
"A-Are you sure about this?" he asked, a little breathless.
Yuya looked apprehensive. He nodded anyway, bringing his arms up and around Shun's neck. Shun could feel how nervous he was; his hands were shaking and his breathing was shallow and uneven.
"We don't have to-"
"Shun, it's okay. Just kiss me." Yuya closed his eyes, waiting.
Shun took a deep breath. He never thought that in this situation, he would be the one hesitating. Of course he wanted nothing more than to kiss Yuya, but after everything that had happened, he now had a deeper appreciation and understanding of his feelings… and they came before anything.
"If you're sure," he whispered.
Closing his eyes, Shun slowly leaned downwards until their lips were touching. He let out a breathy moan as they made contact, his dreams all coming true at once. He felt Yuya's grip around his neck tighten. Taking his bottom lip between his own, Shun kissed and pulled on it gently before doing the same to his top lip, his rhythm slow but steady.
Shun couldn't bring himself to stop for breath. The sensation was out of this world. Yuya's lips were everything he'd imagined them to be and more. They had a familiar heat to them that reminded him of Yuto, but their texture and how they felt under his own was so much different. They were soft, almost silken in their touch, like velvet. The way Yuya kissed was also just as delicate. He nipped and pecked with all his uncertainty, exploring and enjoying whilst Shun eagerly guided him along.
Eventually, both of them had to come up for air, breaking the kiss. Shun leaned his forehead against Yuya's and they stood there, hanging onto each other for dear life, panting breathlessly.
"Thank you," Yuya whispered, a shy smile on his face.
"No Yuya, thank you." Shun pulled him into a hug and held his head gently against his chest. "It means a lot that you were willing to do that for me."
"Like I said, I want to love-"
From across the room, the sound of Yuya's phone rang out. He sighed and looked up at Shun, who nodded. Grabbing his phone from the bedside table, he sat down on the bed and began reading the message he had just received. His smile quickly faded.
"What's wrong?" Shun asked, sitting beside him.
"My parents won't be back until tomorrow evening… I'll be here on my own tonight."
"I can stay if you want me to?" Shun wasn't sure if he was pushing things or not, but he felt like he had to at least offer.
Yuya's face lit up. "You'd do that?"
"Of course I would. I mean… I'll just sleep downstairs on the couch or in the other room if you-"
"No." Yuya was quick to interrupt. "There's enough room in here… and I'd like to hug you some more… it that's okay?"
Shun smiled. "Sure thing."
For the rest of the night, the two spent much of their time talking and playing videogames, well into the early hours of the morning. Yuya had eventually fallen asleep in Shun's arms, his body curled up around him and his head laid softly on his chest. Shun remained awake however. He had texted Yuto to let him know of tonight's developments, and of course this had led to them exchanging numerous messages, both of them eager to express their excitement at what this meant for their relationship going forward. By the time they had said goodnight to each other, Shun was just about ready to go to sleep.
Placing his phone on the bedside table, he pulled the duvet up around Yuya's sleeping form and lay back down beside him. Before shutting his eyes, he noticed something: the room was no longer dark. Through a crack in the curtains, light was now streaming in, filling it with a warm, orange glow.
Sunrise.
Taking one last glance at Yuya, Shun closed his eyes and smiled.