Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz and Sunrise and all those people. Not me.
Times Past
By: Moonlit Seductress
Kagome laid down her book, setting it on the bedside table, and slipped from her bed, wrapping her velour robe over the sheer black nightgown she wore. She made her nightly rounds, checking over her house one more time before she slept.
Sango, her eldest child, was fast asleep on her stomach, her hands tucked under her pillow. Kagome smoothed the tangled hair back from her sweaty face, smiling at her daughter. Willful and strong-willed, like her namesake, it had taken a battle to get her to sleep lately, with her tenth birthday quickly approaching, but she had finally succumbed.
In the bed across the room was her six-year-old, Kaede. The most like her mother, she was quietly intelligent; shy, but with a temper that was quick when it was brought to the surface. She and her sister were almost polar opposites and Kagome knew she provoked the fights by keeping the two in the same room, but Sango's birthday present – the old guest room, painted and refurnished to be her own room – wouldn't be finished for at least another week.
She tucked the blanket over Kaede, who had a penchant for throwing the covers to the ground, and crossed the hall into the next room, the nursery that all her children had passed through. It was currently Eriyumi's room. Her youngest, at nearly two and a half, Eriyumi was named for all three her high school friends, and already had a personality to match them. She was boisterous and bouncy, enthusiastic and curious, and kept her mother on her toes far more than either of the other two. She reminded Kagome of a female Shippou; deviously adorable enough to wiggle out of almost any trouble she might find herself in.
The nursery would soon become the guest room, as it was smaller and easier to keep clean. She didn't need as much room anymore; now that Eriyumi was old enough to sleep in a real bed, she would move in with Kaede after they got Sango settled. She had wanted her mother to move in with her after her second husband, Kagome and Souta's stepfather, had died, but her mother had refused, insisting that the shrine was Kagome's now and that she would be just fine in the apartment she and Hiroshi had shared.
Kagome smiled as she stood at the nursery window, staring out above the roof of the well house at the inky sky. Her mother had teased back that she wasn't a spring chicken anymore either, and although she wasn't yet thirty, she had to agree. Years of roughing it in both the Sengoku Jidai and her own time had done damage to her, both physically and mentally.
Movement caught her eye and she leaned closer to the window, eyes combing the shrine ground. Yes, there it was again; a shadowy figure creeping across the lawn, moving stealthily toward the house.
Kagome's breath caught in her throat. Dashing down the stairs, snatching her cell phone off her bedside table as she moved, she picked up the baseball bat she kept by the front door, then cut across the hall, slipping quietly out the side door, her makeshift weapon ready. She locked the door behind her, tucking the key into the neck of her robe – if she was hurt, at least her children would be safe for a while.
The dewy grass was cool on her bare feet, but she barely noticed, keeping her ears and eyes alert, ready to react if necessary. A hand grabbed her shoulder and she whirled around, swinging the bat as hard as she could in the general direction of her attacker's head.
The same had that had touched her caught the bat in mid-swing, wrenching it from her grasp and tossing it aside. Catching her arms, the figure leaned closer. Above, a cloud shifted, letting moonlight stream across the man's face. Kagome screamed.
"Inuyasha!"
The man dropped his hands from her arms, stepping back, confusion written all over his face. He eyed her warily for a second, nostrils flaring, before his golden eyes widened in disbelief.
"Kagome."
She gasped, the blood draining from her face, leaving her pale and frightened in the moonlight. Her breath coming in jerky gusts, she stared at the boy – no, not a boy, a man – she had not seen in twelve years. The man she had believed dead for so long. "I don't – I can't…Inu – !"
Her voice cut off as he crushed her in a powerful embrace, tucking her in his arms. She left her own arms limp at her sides, unable to move, breathe, think. His scent, pine and musk, filtered into her nose, pressed against the soft material of his enduring red haori, sending her memories reeling through her frozen mind.
He seemed to realize that she wasn't hugging him back, because he released her somewhat abruptly, stepping back again, raking his amber gaze over her form. "It worked," he muttered. "Thank Kami, it worked." He reached out a clawed hand to brush a chunk of hair from her face, but she shied away, still gaping at him. "I…Inuyasha…how?"
He began to speak, but she cut him off. "It's been twelve years! Where have you been?" He frowned. "Twelve years? How can it have been twelve? It's only been two, wench, I don't know what you're talking about."
"I don't know, Inuyasha. Maybe it was the time slip. I don't know, but I do know that it hasn't been two years for me. It's been twelve. Did you seal the well? How could you keep me away like that? Did you hate me that much? Did you – "
"No!" His voice was hoarse, rough with fear and loss and longing and something she couldn't name. "I didn't do it."
"But I tried to get through! The well was sealed! I don't understand, Inuyasha." A tear slipped down her cheek. "Why couldn't I get back to you?"
His eyes glowed and he made to pull her close, but she evaded him again. "Answers, Inuyasha, I need answers! What happened?"
He stared at her, unsure of how to tell her. "You…" he trailed off. "I wasn't fast enough, wasn't strong enough. I couldn't get to you in time."
"I don't understand."
He flinched. "You died, Kagome. Naraku pierced your heart with one of his damned tentacles. You died in my arms." His voice broke on the last word.
Kagome's mind reeled. If she had died, back in the Feudal Era, how could she be whole and healthy here and now? But there was no time for her to ponder this fact. His anguish was written on his face, and her heart ached for him. It had been hard enough, being trapped on her side of the well, unable to see him. She didn't know if she could have borne him dying right in front of her.
"Inuyasha…" He looked away, eyes brimming.
"But how am I…?" She let the question trail away.
"I used the Jewel. We killed Naraku, and put the Jewel back together. Kikyou purified it. Then she died." His voice was faint and matter of fact, but Kagome winced. He continued. "I…I wished for you to be alive again. I offered my own life to Midoriko and the demons in return for yours. But Midoriko appeared and told me that the only way you could live was for you to return to your era. Forever. I agreed."
He sighed. "She told me that the well would be sealed. It didn't matter. As long as you were alive and safe and healthy, that was all I wanted. So we said our goodbyes, and you…disappeared."
She had died. Been killed by Naraku. And Inuyasha had sacrificed the wish they had always known would be his on her. The sudden rush of knowledge was too much, and her knees gave way. She collapsed onto the wet grass. Inuyasha followed her.
"What other choice did I have, Kagome? I didn't want to be a full demon, and you were gone. I had nothing to live for. I chose you, Kagome, as I should have done a thousand times before. But by the time I realized what you meant to me, you were gone. So I did the only thing I could do to make up for my failure. I gave you back your life, even if it meant I could never be part of it again."
She stared at her knees. "What about Shippou? And Sango and Miroku and everyone?"
"Sango and Miroku got married, not long after we made the wish. Shippou wanted to stay with me, but I couldn't let him, I didn't know where I was going or what I was gonna do. So he went with Sango and Miroku. Last I heard, they had six children, plus Shippou and Kirara and Kohaku. Miroku was happy as a clam, finally got the brood he always wanted."
Kagome laughed through her tears. "Kaede?"
"She died last year. I came back for the funeral. I couldn't stay in Musashi, not without you. I went to live with my bastard brother and his little girl – who ain't so little anymore, but she's definitely still his girl. When I left, she was pregnant." He stared up at the sky.
They fell into an uncomfortable silence. "Inuyasha…why did you come back?"
He blinked at her, shocked by the question. "After twelve years, why did you come back? Why now? Why not earlier?"
He continued to stare at her, something unreadable in his eyes. "I…never thought to try the well. Midoriko said it would be sealed. I assumed that meant from both sides. I knew you would have come back if you could, so I figured I wouldn't be able to come through."
She laughed hollowly. "So after twelve years, you just decided to try it? See if it would work?"
"No. I was back in Musashi. I got in a tussle with a bear youkai and it threw me into the well. When I got out, I recognized the well house." He frowned. "Kagome, what's – "
She stood, cutting him off. "Inuyasha…you should go."
He caught her by the arms again, mimicking their earlier position. "But – Kagome! I – it's me! And you! We can – we can be together! Finally!"
"No!"
Her exclamation startled him, and hurt spread quickly across his face. She wondered when he had become so open with his emotions.
"I can't, Inuyasha. Look at me." She spread her arms wide, letting the robe fall open. "I'm not that young girl anymore." She glanced down at her barely-clad body, still firm and in shape, but marked with three pregnancies, the scar of a Caesarian, and the smaller, duller scar where the Shikon Jewel had burst from her side, all those years ago. Battle scars, from both her wars in the feudal era and the modern era.
He blushed, confronted with her near nudity, but his eyes drank her in, and he took a half step forward. She wrapped the robe back around her, tying it tightly. "I'm old, Inuyasha, so much older than you. I'm nearly thirty. How old are you, Inuyasha? Twenty?"
He nodded stiffly. "I've lived my life, Inuyasha. I spent two years in hell after the well sealed. I nearly died many times. But I made it through. I met a wonderful man. I've had three children. I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm a grown woman with a family and responsibilities and…" The tears were streaming down her face now, but she kept going, knowing if she hesitated for a second, she would fall into his arms and never look back.
"Our time passed, Inuyasha. A long time ago. It…it just wouldn't work."
He made to grab her, but she threw out her hand and he stopped. "We could make it work, Kagome! Damn it, what is wrong with you? I love you! Isn't that enough?"
She cried all the harder, finally hearing those words after so long. But it was far too late now. "When I was eighteen and young and had my whole life ahead of me, it would have been more than enough. But now…it's too late, Inuyasha. It's just too late."
He gritted his teeth, his hands balled in fists. "You're crying, Kagome, so I know you're lying. You want to be with me. Why are you lying to yourself? Why do you deny me?" His expression was fierce, charged with all the youthful fervour she remembered, and that now set them so far apart. "Because it's what must be done." Her words had a note of finality that even he could pick up on. "You're certain this is what you want?" he asked, voice husky and low. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
He stood, towering above her, looking so familiar with his fire-rat armour and wounded heart. "Then I will go. But I will never stop loving you, Kagome. There will never be anyone else for me, ever. I will think of you every day until I die."
"As will I," she whispered. She struggled to her feet. He watched her, drinking her in, before moving too swiftly for her to object. He caught her in his arms, pulling her close, committing the feel of her body against his to memory one last time.
Helpless, she clung to him, feeling his lips press against her hair, her forehead, her cheek as he mapped out her face, then caught her lips, kissing her long and deep. She inhaled his wild scent, knowing she would never see him again. Then she pushed him away, stepping back before she would be unable to let him go.
He turned, sprinting back to the well house, disappearing through the doors, and was gone.
Kagome settled Eriyumi in her highchair as the shoji slid open, Sango and Kaede calling out to their mother as they got home from school.
"Here, Mama, I bought the thing you wanted from the corner store," Sango reported, handing her mother a plastic bag.
Kagome smiled at her daughters. "Thank you, Sango. Now can you get your sisters and yourself a snack? I have to go outside for a minute."
She walked quickly to the well house, staring at the doors, still open slightly from Inuyasha's departure. Running her fingers over the smooth wood, she pulled them shut, snapping the padlock Sango had bought for her over the handle and turning to walk back to the house.
As she passed the Goshinboku, she turned to glance at the bare spot on the trunk, where a sleeping hanyou had waited for a young girl to rescue him from a fifty year slumber. The breeze stirred the branches of the ancient tree, bringing the scent of pine to her nose. Kagome smiled.
Goodbye, Inuyasha.
And she disappeared into her house, following the laughter of her children.
Fin
