Safety Patrol

I got a belt on my shoulder, a badge on my chest

A water gun on my hip, and the right to protest

I'm the guy who's the boss in this hallway

So watch out what you're doin' when you're comin' my way

If you break the rules, you'll hear from me, I know-

'Cause I'm workin' for the school, I'm a Safety Patrol

XX

Well, you'll know me when you see me, I got my orange belt

My silver badge, and my high-pitched yell

I work all mornin' and I work all day

I got my orders from the teacher, got no time to play

If I stop you for a warnin', then you better walk slow

I'm just a-doin' my job, I'm a Safety Patrol

XX

I'm a Safety Patrol, a Safety Patrol,

My hours are long, do they pay me? No!

But I'll do my best to keep you walkin' slow

I'm just a-doin' my job, I'm a Safety Patrol

XX

If you're runnin' fast, like you shouldn't do

You can bet your boots I'm comin' after you

If you wanna run, then get out on the track

'Cause if you try to run away I'm gonna bring ya back

I'm here to keep all the students walkin' slow

I'm just a-doin' my job, I'm a Safety Patrol

XX

I'm a Safety Patrol, a Safety Patrol,

My hours are long, do they pay me? No!

But I'll do my best to keep you walkin' slow

I'm just a-doin' my job, I'm a Safety Patrol

XX

I'm just a-doin' my job

I'm a Safety Patrol

XX

A/N: This is based off of the tune and lyrics of Junior Brown's country music song "Highway Patrol", and I could imagine it having been written either by Alex Pruitt's older brother Stan, who could've been a Safety Patrol in his elementary or junior high school days, or by Alex himself during or after his time as a Safety. More of a song than a poem, the song is not especially relevant to "Home Alone 3" or the "Home Alone" series period. But, I pictured it as something that either Alex or Stan Pruitt could have written- perhaps Stan in particular, since he is easy for me to picture as an aspiring song writer.

This song is intended to be half-parody of the original, half a tribute to the American Automobile Association (AAA) Safety Patrols and all the good work that they do. And to Alex Pruitt of "Home Alone 3", the courageous and loyal boy who very well might have grown up to be a fine Safety Patrol.