The first rejection hurts. Of course it does. But you refuse to let that get you down for long.
You made a mistake, you're not denying it. Nobody's denying it. You screwed up, big time, on Lyoko—so big that it turns out you've been fighting your own friends for months now as XANA's slave, while they tried everything under the sun to bring you back. Some Lyoko warrior, huh? You gave them a heck of a ride.
You don't remember any of it, not really, but you can tell they sure do. You can see it in their eyes every time they turn to look at you. They're wondering when the other shoe is going to drop, when you'll inevitably turn on them. They blame you for what happened.
And, okay, maybe you are to blame. What's done is done. You'll be the first to admit that you were careless. You honestly went kind of crazy, so caught up playing the big action hero that you fell right into XANA's trap like a miserable pawn. It's hardly the first time you've gotten in way over your head, though. That's just who you are.
(Being sensible is just not sensible, you once said to Yumi, sitting underneath that oak tree in the woods.)
They were all wary of you when you returned, didn't seem to want anything to do with you, after all the trouble and pain they went through bringing you back to Earth. But, you've always been an optimist. You're determined. They are your friends; they accepted you into their group, and they're not going to be rid of you so easily now. You're slowly starting to wear them down, one at a time.
You're not expecting much from Ulrich. Not yet. Earning his respect took long enough the first time, and now, there's something grudging and dangerous lurking in his eyes that wasn't there before. You're glad that he seems to have worked out most of his petty jealousies and insecurities while you were gone, but, the pathological resentment that replaced them isn't exactly welcome, either. It flares up whenever he sees you with Yumi. You're not going to let it stop you.
Odd treats you the way he treats everything else: like a big joke. He constantly makes wisecracks about you, about your ties to XANA, like he can't even tell the difference between what you did then and what you would have done, of your own free will, what you would do now and you—you just can't help the ugly look that crosses your face, whenever you hear him talking like that. It's probably not endearing you to him any. But then, the two of you were never close. And you have time to build the bridges still.
Aelita, you think, understands much better where you're coming from. She knows what it's like to be possessed by XANA. She knows what it means to be trapped on Lyoko without being able to return to Earth.
She definitely knows about taking truly stupid risks and disobeying orders, every once in a while.
Jeremie, on the other hand, you're not certain about. He doesn't seem upset with you, knows that you had no control over your actions, but still, he hesitates. He's not going to attack you now for what you did, but he's not about to defend you from the others, either. You try not to forget that he was the one who worked the hardest to bring you back. Without him, you'd have probably been XANA's prisoner forever.
Yumi...
Yumi, you can't even tell anymore, so there's no point giving up hope that she'll someday open up to you again. Sometimes she waves to you from across the courtyard, or even sits next to you in class, smiling your way again like old times—but you two don't really talk anymore, not like you used to. She sticks to Ulrich and the others like a leech. You try not to wonder if it's only to get away from you.
It's not a secret that Yumi doesn't trust you. She never trusted you, not even back when she still liked you.
You need her, though. You need them. You're not going to give up on winning them back over anytime soon, because the alternative is worse. Being a loner is nothing new, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad now, but at least back then you had Yumi around to talk to. Back then, you had a reputation. You could have made other friends if you wanted them.
Now, everyone at school treats you like a freak. Like an alien. And after the stories you've heard, about the past few months with the clone that Jeremie made to take your place, you guess you can't really blame them. None of the teachers will call on you in class anymore—which is fine, because you're so behind in every subject that you wouldn't know the answers anyway. The other kids stare at you constantly, not even bothering to try and hide it, like they're all waiting for a punchline that isn't coming.
You don't really know what to tell them. None of this seems very funny to you.
To be honest, you've never felt more angry and upset and alone in your life. XANA's stolen an important part of you, a piece of your life that you will never, ever be able to get back, and the others didn't even have enough faith left to give you a chance at revenge. Most of them still can't even look you in the eye, face to face.
Still, you smile like it's easy and keep pushing, needling, waiting for the inevitable day when they just get tired of rejecting you. They're your friends, after all, and you're an optimist. You've always been an optimist. They'll come around.