CHOICES
I am sentient. Perhaps not in the same way as him, or the humans he has shared the journey with, but I have always known that I am alive.
He has always treated me with respect, and occasionally with love. At times I have detected some jealousy from his travelling companions. But he understood, and I think they did too. Together, we have traversed time and space in search of adventure, and he has been confronted with many impossible choices in his lifetimes. So when, during the Dalek conflict on Satellite Five, he elected to send myself and Rose Tyler back to Earth, asking her to let me die, I knew that was the hardest decision he had ever had to make.
Like him, I am the last of my kind. So perhaps it was a form of kindness, a desire not to see me left alone once he had gone. To let my life come to an end. But he hadn't considered the possibility that Rose would not give up, not on either of us. I also saw the determination in her eyes that refused to accept his request.
Her plan to open the console to free the power of the time vortex contained within was inspired. She knew that I was more than a machine, that I was alive. But I was hesitant, and for a time I refused her access, for I understood the danger. The raw power of the vortex could kill an ordinary human, and I could not allow one so young to condemn herself.
But still she would not give up, and her belief in him shamed me. She was willing to risk everything, possibly at the cost of her life. Her devotion to him mirrored my own, but I was as helpless as she. Or was it that I was afraid - afraid to take a leap of faith? In her own way, Rose Tyler loved him, and would do anything for him. I loved him too, but I also loved Rose. By keeping the vortex from her, she would be safe – but in doing that, I was condemning him to death. It was time for me to choose.
And so I relented, and gave Rose Tyler access to the time vortex.
As we travelled back through time and space to Satellite Five, I activated a localised force field, placing it around Rose, to hold back the vortex's degenerative effects. It was all I could do to protect her, until a more effective solution could be found. And it was his own selfless actions that saved Rose Tyler, at the cost of another regeneration.
And now she is gone, and I miss her.
There have been many to travel with him over so many lifetimes – Susan, of course. Ian and Barbara, Jamie and Victoria, Jo Grant, Sarah Jane, Leela and Ace. All had left their imprint upon him. But Rose came along at an important time in both our lives. The Time War had left its mark on us both, damaging us, leaving us bereft with only each other for company. But Rose Tyler gave us new hope, and a reason to live. She helped to ease the scars of battle, and we learned how to embrace the universe as we had before. Without doubt, our lives are all the better for having known her.
We shall both go on as before, facing new challenges. But he will miss Rose Tyler as I do, and neither of us will ever forget her.