Author's Note: o.O You guys aren't going to believe it… probably thought the summary was some cheap trick XD But I actually wrote an ER ficlet that doesn't revolve around Ray or Abby! O.O Ahem… shutting up now. Word for this was 'karma'.
WHAT IS KARMA?
What is karma?
The question had run systematically through Gregory Pratt's mind since that night a few days ago, when they'd lost Thomas, the little boy who'd been horrifically beaten by other kids; sixth graders, his brother had said. He often wondered how the universe worked; how fate and destiny intertwined and played off one another to run events and shape lives. And sometimes, he realised it just wasn't fair… to some people more than others.
Lysander Martin had been another example of karma, perhaps. But no… Lysander Martin had done nothing wrong; he had just tried to stick up for himself, and ended up being charged with assault and getting shot to boot… by his own sleazy boss no less. That wasn't karma; that was just bad luck.
Greg knew what karma was. It was your own bad – or good, for the right kind of person – deeds coming back to revisit you somehow; make you taste and feel some of the pain – or joy, respectfully – you'd unwittingly dealt onto another person. It was equalling the balance… it was settling the score.
He'd just been dealt his blow, that was all.
No, that wasn't all. It wasn't fair. Thomas hadn't done anything to Greg; why had he been punished?
Greg Pratt was never sure of his faith. Did he believe in 'God'? Was he a religious man? Did he believe in miracles?
The miracles of science and medicine, certainly… miracles of another kind? Angels? Second chances? He wasn't so sure.
But hadn't he had his fair share of second chances? By now, he was surely on his fifth chance at least. The amount of mistakes at work… it was a miracle in itself that he was still practising medicine.
What is karma?
Karma was something he was starting to hate. Karma was something Greg saw as punishment unto the wrong person, a lot of the time.
Like Thomas.
Young Thomas who had been bullied so severely and cruelly that it had stolen his life. And if Greg had just let Wendall finish her job, then he never would have had to watch that little boy die; he never would have heard the father weep. He, Carter, Barnett, Sam and Jane… they never would have had to go through that loss; the failure. Greg knew how much it burned to lose someone… especially a child – someone who had barely begun to live. It wasn't fair.
That wasn't karma… that was just plain wrong. If it had been karma, Greg would have been hit by a car, or been charged with a malpractice suit, or something of the like. If it had been karma, Greg would have been punished… not Thomas. Not that poor kid.
And Greg knew now that he hadn't been thorough. He had bad patient care skills… Kovac had been right all along. All that time, and the resident thought Kovac had just been 'riding him'; picking on him for some reason. Now he could see that the older doctor had just been trying to teach him how to connect; how to be a better physician to his patients.
On some degree, Greg hated himself now. He'd failed that boy. He'd failed that boy's family. He was a bad doctor… sometimes.
Sometimes, Greg knew he was a damn good doctor but… not that day. Not at that moment when he'd signed on that line and discharged Thomas. That boy had suffered for Greg's nonchalance, and he'd paid dearly.
In a way, Greg had paid too. He knew that. Every day when he woke up and dragged himself to work, he thought about that boy; how he'd lied and protected himself as best he could from some big bullies who'd ended up killing him for some stupid issue with his clothes. His clothes. Of all things… Greg wanted nothing more than to track down the kids responsible and teach them some values. But he couldn't… he shouldn't. That would be the last thing he needed.
What is karma?
Greg had made a promise to himself as he'd stood watching Thomas' father mourn; as he'd stood with Luka. He'd promised himself that he would never… never, be that negligent of a patient and their needs again. No more dismissal. No more carelessness. No more nonchalance. No more half-assed patient-care.
From now on, with Thomas in mind, he was going to give it everything he had, and more. His job was real; it was adult; it was painful… it was important. So very, very important. Vital…
What is karma?
Karma is a lesson… sometimes quick and easy; sometimes arduous and agonising.
Greg knew all about karma.
At least now he did…
Fin