TWEEK's POV:
My name is Tweek Tweak, everyone thinks i'm crazy or something but the truth is that's just the result of my parent's negligence, I mean i've been drinking coffee since kindergarten every hour of every day. My life was going fine until one day in 3rd grade... We were all in shop class. Me, Cartman, Stan and Kyle. Those guys started spreading rumours about me and Craig Tucker to try and get us to fight. In the end we had a fight and they told us they were trying to get a rise. A week later me and Craig were the best of friends. But i felt so uncomfortable around him I mean i felt uncomfortable around anyone. But i kept it to myself cause especially after our fight, people learned: Do not screw with Craig Tucker.
Clyde and Token kept him grounded making sure he didn't start fights but hell like he'd listen to them.
I can still remember that day in 5th grade.
We were all walking to lunch when i felt someone throw a pencil at me.
I heard that god awful laugh and i knew at once who it was.
"Damn faggot hahaha you guys oh my god!" Eric Cartman screeched.
Before i could even count to three, Craig had him on the floor with his shirt in his hands.
"You lay a finger on him again and ill kill you and your crackwhore mom." he hissed.
I'd never seen him fight someone and my god did it make me not wanna get on his bad side.
"Ergh! Y-you should'nt have done that for me! GAH!" I said to him "He's an asshole just ignore him." He said as though discussing the weather.
I think thats when it started. When i fell for him. I mean i always knew something was there even in 3rd grade, But how was i meant to know? I mean i was too worried about being killed by the FBI or being molested by the Ghost of Human Kindness.
But yeah i had it bad for Craig.
There was one problem though that broke my bubble, Wendy Testaburger. She had broken up with Stan before 5th grade. She had changed so much. She was now more orange than the actual fruit and she had breast implants: Perfect stereotype of someone without class.
She hooked up with Craig and now it was the 7th grade.
My life couldn't get any worse.
Wendy didn't really want Craig, i doubt she seriously wanted any boy. Cause i'm probably the only guy in our grade she has NOT had sex with.
Stan hated Craig and got back at Wendy by screwing Bebe Stevens, the pretty blonde girl in our class.
One day in school i was walking to class when that all too familiar overpowering Chanel perfume filled my nose.
"Hey Tweek! Wait up sugar!" Wendy cooed in her fakest put on voice. I wanted to punch my locker "Hey Wendy!AUGH!" I twitched.
Wendy smiled her caked on lipgloss running.
"You know i'm having a party tonight you should totally come! Ohh but sweetie buy some new clothes and straighten your hair first, K?" She laughed.
I lost it that day i went absoloutely crazy. If people thought i was mad before they would definitely think so now.
"BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES?! GAH! Y-y-your a cheap hooker with no class! AUGH! Go to hell and scrub that crap off your face!ERGHH! Craig is mine!" I immediately fell quiet at the last thing i said. So did the rest of the kids in the corridor.
Wendy looked like she'd just been slapped in the face.
"Oh my god." She began laughing.
"Sweetie as if your competition for me. I'm fucking Wendy Testaburger bitch. You think you got shit on me huh?" Her eyes looked evil the caked crap on her eyelashes adding to that fact.
"I-i! I didn't mean it! GAH!" I replied simply Wendy just walked off her high heels making a ridiculous sound.
All the kids started laughing and by the end of the day everyone knew i had it in for Craig.
He actually approached me that afternoon.
"Is it true?" He asked as calm as ever.
"What do you think?" I snapped back i was calmer than ever.
"I dont love Wendy. I mean shit Marsh did and look where that got him." He mused.
"Look Tucker if Wendy ain't doing it for ya save it for someone who cares!" I roared. No why the hell did I just say that! OH MY GOD!
People started looking again, "God that kid's crazy" I heard someone say.
I walked out and there was still an hour left of school but why should i care.
After 5th grade i really went on a downward spiral.
It had lasted to this day.
Most people thought as kids i was sweet and harmless but as time went on that changed.
I was sick of being bullied by Cartman so one day i paid a bunch of Mexican dope fiends to kick his ass.
After that fateful day i was part of their gang.
I was hooked on crack and had been since 6th grade.
No one at school or my parents knew and i liked it that way.
I was also a prostitute, I mean shit this is starting to sound like that film with Julia Roberts, but i'm not the glamorous kind who plays chess with Richard Gere. No i was on the street for hours in the freezing cold. I was 13 years old and already i was hooked on drugs and addicted to sex. I spent hours that night applying what little makeup my mother had i mean i was starting to look like a blonde Wendy.
"Hey cutie you free tonight?" Some guy asked rolling down his car window.
"Sure I am, the but question is, is your wallet?" I asked blinking my eyelashes the way i saw Red do it.
"Holy shit, your hot get in." He replied.
An hour passed and i felt like crap, the guy gave me 50 dollars and the thing that makes me laugh is all i'd spent that money on was alcohol and drugs i'd buy off Kenny McCormick.
Another crap night. If i had to do this shit for Craig I wouldn't mind I mean damn I could teach him a thing or two.
Little did I know my world would come crashing down.
Chapter 2: I Will Always Love You CRAIG's POV:
My name's Craig Tucker and I am an asshole. I aint saying that cause I'm suicidal or some emo crap like that I just act and feel like an ass.
I've got good friends in Tweek, Clyde and Token and i'm going out with Wendy Testaburger (Stan Marsh hates me for it).
I'm in the 7th grade and life was cool until Tweek and Wendy argued and he admitted he's in love with me..
I mean damn I never thought I'd see the day.
I've been in love with him for like forever.
But I'd rather date some cheap whore like Wendy Testaburger than listen to that fatass Cartman ripping on me for eternity. So yeah thats why I'm an asshole. The kid I want just practically admits he wants me and I do and say nothing.
Well almost nothing.
I followed Tweek home and watched him go into his house.
I heard the sound of Lady Gaga blaring out of his speakers. The all too familiar hook "I'm Gonna Marry The Night" could be heard from his bedroom window.
He really likes her (or is it a him I dont know or care) he says her music opens his mind to how other people feel or some deep crap like that. I just think she's a tranny with a good marketing strategy.
An hour passsed and if he wasn't twitching I would NOT have recognised him.
He had on full makeup (which was done well I might add), a tight latex skirt and a matching sports bra. He was only 5ft 1 but he had on 6 inch heels and my god did he look amazing.
He was also smoking a ciggarette! Wait a second, he smokes? How the hell did I not know this?
I followed him down the street and saw him lean up against a street lamp.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
Some random old pervert pulled up in his car.
They talked and Tweek got in, I wanted to kick that guys ass. How the hell did Tweek Tweak become a prostitute?
This is fucking crazy!
The kid got scared if his mom was home late never mind selling his body to complete strangers!
I saw him exit the car about an hour later with that guys "stuff" running down his leg.
I saw him go back home with the wad of money stuck in his skirt.
I had to do a double take.. Was i dreaming or high or something?
He came out twenty minutes later in his ordinary get up: a badly buttoned shirt and jeans that hung off him.
He went to Kenny's and by the time he came out I could tell he was high.
I followed him around not doing or saying anything until I saw Cartman leap out of the bushes.
"SUP TWITCH!" He shouted.
"GAH! C-c-cartman what do you want?" He twitched in response.
"So you got it out for Craig huh? You wanna jump his ass?" Cartman laughed
"F-fuck off fatass, leave me alone." He started to walk off.
Cartman quickly knotted his fingers in Tweek's wild hair.
"You listen to me you fucking fag! I own this fucking town! Whatever I do what i want!" He rambled.
"Let me go! AAUGH! Please Eric!" He pleaded.
My legs wouldn't move i was stuck on the spot.
"Okay fag but you gotta do something for me first." Cartman smiled his evil smile.
NO FUCKING WAY! Oh hell no...
Cartman unzipped his pants.
"Craig would love you if you did this. Wendy's a slut so you gotta be a slut too!" He cackled.
I did not expect what happened next.
Cartman got a smack in the face and went flying.
Tweek laughed and smiled a smile I had never seen before. Was that confidence in his eyes?
"Ohh Eric Cartman you pathetic piece of crap!GAH! Shall i get the Mexicans to kick your ass again?" He looked at Cartman who stayed quiet.
"I'm already a whore Eric, I have been for a while now, oh and by the way I'd rather die than go near you." He smiled.
I decided to step in.
"Leave him alone fat ass!" I chirped in a voice that did not sound like mine! Shit this kid is gonna put me in the grave.
The nervousness instantly came back.
"OH MY GOD! AUGH! c-craig?" He said.
"So you're a whore huh?" I laughed.
"GAH! No i just wanted Cartman to go away!" He lied, i knew he was i mean he made that abundantly clear in that car with the random guy.
"I'm still here fag!" Cartman grunted blood flowing out his nose.
"Fuck off Cartman." I growled.
"I saw you in that car Tweek. And I saw you smoking crack at Kenny's house." I calmly stated.
He went bullshit crazy in 2 seconds flat.
"OH MY GOD! JESUS NO! Craig it-it's not what you think I swear to god! AUGH!" He sputtered
Well we'll see aboout that.
Chapter 3: Your Love TWEEK's POV:
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
Craig found out my secret! Oh my god! Jesus Christ! He's gonna tell everyone at school and get me arrested and I'll be raped in prison!
He walked me home and we were greeted by my mother who was too wrapped up in her own silly little world she barely knew I existed.
"How was your day son? Want some coffee?" My dad inquired.
I picked up the cup and downed it like how Kenny drinks vodka.
"f-fine Dad! GAH! Is it okay if Craig stays a while!" I nearly screamed.
"Sure son. You want some coffee Craig? You see a warm cup of coffee is like the sunrise in Alaska it-" He began
"Ohh Richard leave the kids alone!" My mother spoke up still staring out the window like there was no tommorow.
"Okay now listen son your mother and I have to go to the shop for the evening shift, You and Craig are gonna be alright yes?" He said talking to me like i was 5 years old.
"y-YEah! GAH!" I replied.
And with that they were gone. They had been doing this for years. CPS came to our house when i was in first grade because they had been gone for days and i nearly died drinking one of my mother's bottles of wine.
"Tweek please tell me why the hell you got into shit like this." Craig said breaking me out of my thoughts.
I carried on sucking on the marijuana ciggarette in my hand.
"I did it because..ARGH! I dont know! PRESSURE!" I flipped out.
"Look you gotta stop.. your way too good to be some cheap street ho. Oh and give me that!" He said, ripping said joint out of my hand and throwing it out the window.
"Party pooper." I replied.
Before i could do anything he kissed me.
The lights in my head switched on.
Oh my god I've wanted this for years.
"What about Wendy?" I asked
"Screw Wendy!" He replied with a chuckle.
And before I knew it i was tangled in the sheets with Craig Tucker.
I knew it was impossible considering my past but I felt like i lost my virginity tonight.
Chapter 4: You ain't woman enough to take my man.
WENDY's POV:
I walked down the street this morning and talked to my friend Bebe.
She shouted me so i went to talk to her.
Damn she looks like crap. Well at least next to me. I make Megan Fox look like a man. Well that's what Kenny McCormick said when i was sucking him off.
"Wendy you will not believe what I just heard." She said, her love of gossip obvious.
"Go on." I said, barely interested.
"You know Tweek Tweak yeah?" She stated, her blue eyes wide.
"The fag who wants to screw Craig yeah?" I replied in a bored voice.
"Well fatass said he's selling it apparently." She giggled.
"Selling what? Weed, Booze or what?" I was getting bored now
"His ass!" Bebe burst out laughing and so did I.
"Oh my god!" I nearly died.
"But I also heard that Craig went into his house last night and didn't come back out." WHAT?! Craig was in that little coffee addicted idiot's house? Ohh no way.
"You. Fucking. What." I was pissed.
"Wendy it's just a rumour! Hey wait! Wendy!" she shouted after me.
No one fucks with Wendy Testaburger.. Unless your stupid you dont fuck with me.
I saw Craig come out of his house, that little whore kissing him and saying goodbye. His or Craig's cum stains all over his jeans.
"YOU FUCKING LITTLE SLUT!" I screamed.
"Wendy i can explain!" Craig tried. I punched him twice.
"YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY MAN! FUCKING FREAK!" I wanted to kill him. I wanted to rip that uncombed hair out of his head. Save him the job of doing it.
I wasn't gonna hit him. Tweek was known for being a crybaby and he would tell mommy and get whoever involved into shit.
I did not wanna go back to juvenille hall.
"WE'RE FUCKING OVER CRAIG! YOU SCREW THE LITTLE FREAK! DAMN YOU MISSED OUT!" I roared.
"You just carry on getting AIDS off Stan, Bitch." He said wiping the blood from his nose.
I walked off, fucking assholes let them eat cake I say.
I updated my facebook status and my god did I sound mad!
'So I just found out my boyfriend is gay for a schizo whore with a coffee problem! Fuckin' A!' was what it said.
I got several comments and likes.
Stan's stood out the most.
'Baby I still love you! It's fucking obvious Tucker's gay for The Twitch'
Asshole, hes a pussy and I am so glad I realised that and the only time his dick would stand up was when Kyle Broflovski was in the room.
I swiftly replied 'Stan you never satisfied me. No offense but I'd rather screw Butters.'
A lot of likes on that one right there.
But then of all people TWEEK commented.
'Wendy I'm sorry but I love Craig and I don't care what anyone says!'
' I bet you'd care if people knew your doing the splits for 10 dollars an hour.' Damn am I good.
Nothing else was said after that.
Chapter 5: In For The Kill TWEEK's POV:
I felt so unnerved walking round school, everyone was talking about me and the people who usually bullied me added some new words to their arsenal such as = Whore, Faggot, Homewrecker. I'd gotten used to that shit back in elementary school so I paid no attention. What did piss me off was how Craig completely ignored me and how his mom let him stay at home so as not to deal with the shit going on. His parents did not care if he went to school or not. Neither did mine but I'd already screwed my life up considerably and I did not want to add to the damage.
Kevin in our class told Principal Victoria I was being bullied (Most of the teachers from elementary were so incompetent the school board gave them new jobs in this middle school). She sent me to see Mr Mackey.
"Ok Tweek m'kay so what seems to be the problem." He asked faking concern
"Nothing Mr Mackey, I'm fine." I lied I really wanted to go apeshit and kill Wendy Testaburger but she's a girl and I can't hit a girl.
"Now Tweek at this time in your life understanding yourself and your feelings is really important m'kay?" I wanted to burst out laughing he was starting to sound like my dad.
"You see what's going on between you and Craig Tucker there is no need to feel ashamed m'kay." He continued
"OH MY GOD! GAH! How did you know?!" I started shaking again and had the urge to cry.
" And the school board feels the tension between you and Wendy Testaburger needs to end as it is causing disruption m'kay?" He carried on.
Wendy walked in looking as cheap as ever.
Her T-shirt had a photo of Britney Spears on it and her skirt looked more like a belt.
Her face was a shocking shade of orange compared to her milky white neck.
"You wanted to see me Mr Mackey?" She inquired putting on her cutest tone of voice.
"Yes please sit down Wendy m'kay." He replied.
"Now I want you to think really hard about what you've been doing.. Tweek here does not need to be receiving your negative comments and-" He started.
"NEGATIVE COMMENTS! THAT BITCH STOLE MY MAN!" She screamed.
She lunged for me but i moved back off my chair.
"Wendy!Ngh! I'm sorry okay!" I pleaded.
"Ohh fuck you! You cheap piece of crap!" She retorted.
She stormed out of the room slamming the door so hard the glass shattered into a million pieces.
"You should get to lesson now Tweek." Mr Mackey said looking pissed off. He didn't add an M'kay either.
I walked towards my class that I shared with Clyde, Token and usually Craig.
Cartman was stood outside obviously sent out.
"Hey fag! over here!" he shouted.
"Fuck off fatass!" I replied coldy.
"You know I saw Craig with Butters the other day! Damn the competition between you nancy boys is really getting hot." He smirked evilly.
"But you know I hate Wendy just as much as you do." He carried on.
"She's back with Stan like nothing happened! You just gonna let her get away with this?" He queried.
I was smart enough to know not to get in on Cartman's crazy schemes because back in 4th Grade I ended up helping a serial killer get out prison and on that same day breaking into George Lucas' house! WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE MAN!
"Like you care." I said.
"Did I say I cared fag? I just wanna see Wendy cry.. I asked her out last year and she was like no. That bitch needs to respect my authoritah and so do you!" He started on one of his crazy rants.
The teacher came out of the door.
"Cartman back of the room, care to join my lesson Tweek? Or did the "Gnomes" (she made air quotations at this) steal your work again?" she asked dryly, god I hate her.
"Sure Mrs Collins." I replied.
She was quite a sight in this hick town, she was a New York woman and she was serious about making something out of life. Where for example Liane Cartman spent her days screwing whoever and smoking crack. Damn reminds me of me! SHIT! AUGH! I'm gonna end up like Cartman's mom!
The day dragged on for what seemed forever. I got a text off Craig.
'I love you.. I felt ill today.. Ignore Wendy, Cartman and all them other assholes x.'
'I love you too, last week was amazing ;)'
An hour passed and school was finished.
I saw Stan and Wendy walking back to his house.
"Yeah so I said to him. Bitch you stole my man go to hell, and Mr Mackey was just like m'kay!" She laughed in such a fake way I felt my stomach lurch.
"Wendy can't you just let it go?" Stan asked.
"I could but I ain't gonna lose face to that retard." She cackled "WHAT THE NNGH! FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM WENDY!" I had a total spazz moment right there.
"My problem is you stole Craig! Not that I care I mean me and Stan are forever right baby?" She turned to him, smiling.
I never thought I'd do what I did next.
I pushed her out of the way and started passionately kissing Stan who did not seem to want to let go until he realised a lot of people, Kyle included were watching.
"Dude what the hell?!" He yelped pushing me to the ground.
I got up and walked away, straight to Craig's house.
Chapter 6: Brokenhearted CRAIG's POV:
Tweek and me had gotten a lot of shit. This was why I was scared of telling him how I felt. Mind you if I knew he was turning tricks I would have made my move a while ago.
People always had Tweek down as nervous, scared and afraid. Which I guess he was.
But these past two weeks I learned things about my best friend I would have never suspected.
That our feelings were mutual, that he was a drug addict and a prostitute.
I was listening to Michael Jackson on youtube because all them other singers are shit compared to him. I dont think he was a pervert not at all. The kid even admitted years later it was for the cash.
I saw Tweek walking into my driveway crying his eyes out.
I opened the door quickly, my parents were out drinking and my sister Ruby was at a friend's house.
"Oh my god! AUGH! Wendy! sh-sh-she's with Stan now but she wont! NGH! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He rambled.
"Come on in." I said quietly, damn it would be nice if I could seem interested for just one occasion.
Token and Clyde were sat on the couch, they'd been here all day.
"Yo! Tweek my man!" Clyde shouted.
"Sup Tweek." Token added.
They were watching the Simple Life with Paris Hilton. One of mom's DVDS apparently.
"We'll be back in a few." I said, taking Tweek upstairs
"Get in there!" Clyde giggled.
I flipped him off, asshole.
Tweek quickly got undressed.
"Shit Tweek, slow down." I had to talk to him about something that really pissed me off.
"Look maybe we should take a break until this whole Wendy situation blows over." I said calmly
"Ngh! What? Your leaving me!" He started to cry.
"No baby I ain't leaving you I'm just saying we should be more careful." I said, he was crying a river.
"w-w-why the hell should we be careful! People already fucking know Craig!" He screamed.
"YEAH AND PEOPLE KNOW YOU FUCKING STUCK YOUR TONGUE DOWN STAN MARSH's FUCKING THROAT!" I shouted, I hit him without thinking.
I heard the front door close signalling that Clyde and Token had left.
"I'm going." He said, not even twitching.
"Tweek don't go!" I begged
TWEEK'S POV:
I stormed out of there and walked back home.
I went to my stash and rolled a joint.
I sat there inhaling it for an hour.
I checked facebook. No point just more abuse and cookie cutter insults.
Cartman posted on my wall
'First Craig now Stan! Shit twitch you give Tara Reid a run for her money! Hahaha you guys!'
I wanted to actually die.
Wendy also said something but sweet Jesus was I surprised.
'Look I'm not gonna waste my time on you. You wanna screw Tucker you go for it. I dont care, dont talk to me pretend I dont exist. But you go so much as an inch near Stan again and I will fucking kill you.' Figures, She's using Stan though I bet 50 bucks she'll be screwing someone else before the month is out.
I logged out of it and my Mom called me for dinner.
She and Dad had heard all about my little exploits.
"Now honey listen your a good boy. I dont want my baby out on the street, sex is meant to be with someone you love honey." She said oh so sweetly. God couldn't they just shout and tell me I was a dissapointment? God they were embarrasing.
I didn't sleep again that night. I knew Craig hit me but Rihanna still loved Chris Brown right? So why the hell can't I still be with Craig? I've loved him for so long and I'm not letting one little fuck up ruin things between us.
Chapter 6: How Will I Know?
CRAIG's POV:
I made a massive mistake the other night.
Tweek came round a few minutes after Clyde and Token told me they'd seen him kissing Stan Marsh.
I went fucking mad. I hate them four they are just like cancer slowly absorbing and eating away at society. Kenny's ok but ever since I found out he's been providing Tweek with drugs I hate him more than the other three.
I went mad, I hit him and he left.
Nice one Craig ruin your best chance at happiness with a level headed person.
I mean yeah I love things to be boring but damn Tweek is the one thing that aint boring that actually interests me.
I texted him various times. No reply.
Wendy was showing off in front of everyone at school saying Tweek was so scared of her and a GIRL at that, he had locked himself in his room apparently. Albeit thats what he was probably doing how the fuck should she know? Wendy was always with Stan's gang and she barely even acknowledged Tweek in elementary let alone now.
I went to his parents coffee shop and he was sat next to his mother. She was like a shepherd protecting her sheep and she gave me a look that could cut glass.
"M-mom I Augh! need to speak to Craig!" I heard him shout, the patrons turned to look at him.
We went outside to talk.
"Tweek look I am so so-" I began.
He kissed me so hard I'm sure my lips would have started bleeding had I not pulled back for air.
"I know you are.. I acted like a nghh douche." He said those gorgeous eyes looking down.
"There was no reason for me to hit you.. Marsh and his lackeys just get to me." I said honestly.
"I did it to piss Wendy off." He replied with a smile.
"But Craig if you hit me again I'll hit you back twice as hard." He said with a tone of seriousness.
"Tweek honey! These espressos aren't gonna make themselves!" His mother screeched.
"I gotta go. GAH! text me okay?" He spluttered.
"Sure thing." I said all calm and collected.
Chapter 7: No Man's Woman WENDY's POV:
I've had a lot of shit recently.. People saying I'm a bitch and a whore and how I can jump from one boy to another. Well back in 4th grade the girls said I wasn't stupid and spoiled enough so all these years later I'm making a change.
I don't mean to be harsh but seriously if it was some other girl who just found out their boyfriend was cheating with a G.U.Y surely they would be pissed off too..
I love Stan but what him, Kyle, Kenny and that fat xenophobe Eric Cartman get up to just bore me to tears.
I thought Tweek was a nice kid. Bit crazy and untrusting but a nice kid. He was always the one most freaked out by what Mr Garrison did in elementary. He was the one being harrassed by "Gnomes" I thought that kid was innocent.
I only got with Craig to piss Red off. But it lasted a lot longer. I didn't love him and I'm sure that bastard didn't love me either (What am I saying? Of course he didnt!).
I never had Tweek down as a homewrecker. I didn't even know the kid was gay till he verbally assaulted me!
Craig I did not care so much but when that little jitterbug laid his fingers on Stan I fucking saw red.
No one touches Stan except me or his family! I made that abudantly clear to that fucking substitute teacher we had!
But like I care what other people think. Cartman thinks he's bad well he's like the fucking Care Bears compared to me.
Cause at the end of the day I'm Wendy Testaburger. I foiled Eric Cartman when he called me a whore and said I killed the Smurfs (Asswipe) and kicked his ass when he laughed at cancer.
But I'll let him and Craig have their little romp because sooner or later he'll come running back.
Chapter 8: Whip It MRS TWEAK's POV:
I always knew my son was different. I could tell from the moment he was born. My husband Richard and I fought for weeks saying I'd cheated on him. Tweek did not look like either of us we were both brunette and he was almost platinum blonde. He was bullied all the way through school and I was the one who supported him. I did not approve of him hanging around with Sharon Marsh's son back in the 4th grade but I'm just a housewife I have no say in the matter.
But when I learned my son was a prostitute I knew something had to be done.
I assigned him to a new therapist because the last one kept saying caffeine isn't good for a boy his age. Absoloute rubbish is that man saying me and Richard dont know how to raise a child?
I was at the book club meeting with Sharon Marsh, her husband Randy, The Stotches and The Testaburgers.
I had no idea where their kids were but I was not one to care about such things.
"I know this book really pushes the boundaries in terms of how women are treated." Mrs Testaburger said. I could not stand that woman. She allowed her daughter to behave like a harlot and did absoloutely nothing.
But I'm sure many would agree with me when they say Wendy was a lost cause way before now.
"What do you think Sally?" Sharon asked me breaking me from my thoughts. Who cares about some damn book about a bored housewife? I had my son and his problems to think about.
"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention." I replied simply
Linda Stoch gave me a bitchy look. She thought she was god's gift to mankind. Says the woman who tried to kill her own son.
Randy piped up "Give the woman a break she's just found out her son's turning tricks."
I threw him a look that soon shut him up.
"Anyone else wanna comment on my son's behaviour?" I asked cooly.
Wendy's mother quickly added "Well I was gonna comment on how your street walker boy stole my Wendy's man."
"Sharon I'm gonna have to get back to you on this." I said. If I stayed around that bitch Mrs Testaburger I was surely going to lose it.
I walked back to the coffee shop reflecting on what I'd learnt.
Did me and Richard do such a bad job? I didn't care that Tweek was gay for the Tucker boy. He's my baby and If someone makes him happy then good lord I'll be happy. But to find out he's using drugs and having sex with random people to pay for said drugs. I had to step in. Richard wouldn't he was too busy putting food on the table.
I arrived home and saw Tweek with Craig Tucker, the two of them were asleep on the couch with Tweek's old winter coat covering them.
An idiot could have figured out what went on.
I made myself a cup of coffee and started preparing dinner. I'd have nothing else to brighten up my day.
I pulled my phone out and had a message.
It was from Randy, Sharon's husband.
'Hey I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable at Sharon's book club. Forgive me x'
Why did that man put a kiss at the end of the message? I mean most men in South Park would cut their fingers off to even speak to Sharon Kimble and he's incinuating an affair. Maybe it's time to take my medication.
'It's fine Randy. Tweek will get better I know he will. He cut down on the coffee he can sort this out.' I replied promptly.
I started thinking. Was I happy with this boring routine? I mean damn Randy was no George Clooney but he wasn't bad looking. I couldn't cheat on Richard it would tear the family apart.
I put it out of my mind.
'Well with a beautiful woman like you for a mother why wouldn't he? :) .'
Now I knew something was up.
Me and Randy Marsh?
The mere thought made me laugh.
'Slow down sailor, I'm sure Sharon would be quite pissed if she found out what you just said...'
'Screw Sharon, I've always wanted you and I'm sick of hiding it. Richard Tweak is one lucky asshole.'
I turned my phone off.
So Randy Marsh is infatuated with me? Damn who would have known?
Chapter 9: Pound The Alarm RANDY MARSH's POV:
When I saw Sally Tweak at Sharon's book club today I knew I had to do something.
I can still remember when they moved to South Park.
Richard had a newborn Tweek in his arms and she got out of the car.
Damn I never thought there would be any other girl besides Sharon but holy shit was I wrong.
Stan and Shelley would hate me if I hurt their mother.
It wouldn't be the first time but in this regard it certainly would.
I'd never hurt Sharon but for a chance to screw Mrs. Tweak I certainly would.
All those times over the years.
When Stan's first day of kindergarten came she looked so beautiful.
She did look like a hippie but her hair was short now and her boy was with her.
I mean damn if that woman dyed her hair blonde and messed her hair them two would be twins.
We talked for a while.
"Damn they grow up fast huh? You want a beer?" I asked her.
She looked around but quickly replied "I don't drink in the week sorry, But I'll always have a cup of espresso."
I've remembered those words all these years.
But I didn't act until now.
I've waited 13 years for her. And I plan to wait no longer.
Chapter 10: Where Them Girls At?
TWEEK's POV:
3 months had gone by since me and Wendy had that massive argument. And since then just like I had predicted she got rid of Stan and was now sinking her claws into Clyde. He was far too immature to even notice her little game.
Wendy formally apologised to me about a month after the incident saying she doesn't want any trouble.
I dont know though something about it didn't seem sincere.
I actually started going to therapy and I've managed to stop walking the street and taking drugs.
Craig is now my boyfriend and I couldn't be happier.
But his mom and dad keep fighting saying I'm gonna cause crap! Oh my god! What if they kill me! WHAT IF THEY TEAM UP WITH THE GNOMES! GAH! WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
And my mom has been acting really weird, everytime her phone so much as moves an inch she goes crazy.
I was just looking at it and she screamed at me telling me to mind my own buisness and she put the F word in there too.
Me and Craig were going fine though. I felt loved for the first time in my life. My parents didn't give a crap the only things on their mind was the coffee shop and making sure I didn't attract attention.
"Hun I gotta go to a convention in Maryland today. You and Tweek gonna be okay?" My dad asked a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Yes Richard we'll be fine." She said, the boredom in her voice was very obvious as this was a line I had heard a million times in my life.
"Okay then hun. Son you behave yourself and dont talk to that Wendy Testaburger girl, if her mother so much as sneezes we'll be out of buisness. And you and Craig use protection I'm not keeping a roof for an STD fiend." He added.
"OH MY GOD! NGHH! Dad I dont have AIDS! AUGH!" I freaked out big time..
"Bye guys!" He said, He walked out the door like he was the happiest man on Earth. I could tell. He was pretending his wife was perfectly satisfied and his son was completely normal, He was pretending his coffee buisness hadn't permanently screwed me up. He was a good liar but I could see through him.
My mother said she needed the bathroom.
Her phone buzzed.
I looked at it and I was shocked.
'You sexy bitch, Sharon, Stan and Shelley are out why dont you come over?'
I was all the more shocked when I read the name of the sender
Mr Marsh! OH MY GOD! MY MOM'S HAVING AN AFFAIR! GAH! THE FBI WILL KILL ME FOR SURE!
"Tweek whats wrong? Are you-" She stopped halfway.
"Mom why is he talking to you like Nghh that?" I wasn't even shaking I was that suprised.
Her face turned red.
"Tweek, listen honey when someone gets bored in a relationship they usually get a divorce or seperate but-.. Look you know mommy loves you very much okay?" She was trying to distract me. God you'd think i was 5 never mind 13.
"So you're cheating on Dad?" I enquired.
"IT WAS ONE NIGHT DAMN YOU!" She screamed. She picked up her favourite vase with sunflowers in and threw it across the room. If I hadn't ducked I'm sure I'd be dead right now.
It was rare for my Mom to flip out, she took medication for her bi-polar disorder.
She broke down crying on the kitchen floor.
"I'm so sorry! I'm a terrible mother.." She sobbed.
"I forgive you! GAH! Mom I know Dad can get boring, believe me I know." I comforted her with my words.
"It's not your father! I just felt bored and I know Randy Marsh is probably the biggest hick in this town, But I needed the excitement!" She broke down, pushing me away.
I was walking round to Craig's and it was dark out.
It was 11:42PM
I was walking past Jim's Drugs when suddenly a hand grabbed me and pulled me into the alley.
I was about to scream but stopped when I felt a knife against my throat.
"Damn police ruining my fun! Well this is surely gonna be on the news reports!" The voice said.
OH MY GOD NO! AUGH! THE GHOST OF HUMAN! GAH! KINDNESS!
"You think I wouldn't get a piece of you huh? 5 years in prison you little bitch!" He roared.
"HEEEELP!" I screamed.
He smacked my head against the wall and it was getting dark before my eyes. I was about to get raped and there was nothing I could do. I was 72lbs and 5ft 1 I had no chance of stopping him.
I felt my jeans being pulled down.
"POLICE!" A voice shouted.
"Oh not again! God fucking damnit!" The Ghost of Human Kindness shouted.
"Your under arrest Mr Johnson, anything you do say may be given against you in a court of law." The policeman said.
A policewoman came out of the car to assist him.
"Same kid as well? No offense Mr. Human Kindness Ghost but you are a fool." She laughed at him.
"THATS THE GHOST OF HUMAN KINDNESS TO YOU!" He retorted.
The policewoman helped me up and wiped the blood away from my forehead.
"From this report I'd say you're Tweek Tweak right?" She inquired.
"GAH! Yeah!" I stuttered.
"Okay if you'd like to get in the cruiser we'll give you a ride home." She offered smiling.
"GAH! NO! Butters got into a car with someone and his parents nearly sold him to Paris Hilton!" I screamed.
"Come on young man." She said, she helped me into the car.
"Has he got a problem with cocaine or something?" I heard her whisper to the policeman.
They drove me home and explained to my mother what had happened not bothering to question why she was wearing risqu lingerie.
Randy Marsh came down the stairs in his underpants as soon as the cops went.
"Uhh I gotta go home. See ya! Hey you-" He added pointing to me.
"Do me a solid and keep this quiet." He pulled his jeans and vest on and slammed the front door.
"GAH! One night! AUGH! You liar!" I shook as I said the words.
"Tweek I am so so sorry! Please dont tell your father!" She beggeed like a child.
"I dont want to get you into GAH! Trouble I-i-i- Why?" I couldnt find the words.
"I DONT LOVE HIM FOR GODS SAKE!" She started crying again.
I spent the whole night comforting her, promising I would NOT tell Dad about what happened between her and Mr marsh.
Chapter 10: We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together STAN's POV:
A lot of shit had been going down in South Park recently. We found out Tweek had a boner for Craig; A fact he'd been hiding since me and Kyle organised that fight between them. I never liked Craig Tucker. He was acting like an asshole the whole time we were in Peru.
Not to mention the fact he stole Wendy.
We both got back together for a short time but now she's with Clyde Donovan. I don't think I'll ever be able to go near her again after those taco hands were all over her.
"Hey Stan!" She shouted.
"Oh hey Wendy." Great timing Wendy.
"Look Wendy it's over for good this time. Token, Craig, Clyde. You gonna go for a hat trick and lay Tweek as well?" I snarled.
Wendy looked pissed off and I should know from the ammount of time I've known her this was a hard thing to do.
"Look Stan I love you okay.. When he kissed you I went crazy. Is it him? You leaving me for Tweek? Or Kyle? Or shit maybe Bebe ohh wait I forgot you beat yourself to it." She hissed.
I walked away. Wendy had changed over the years. She had gone from a good girl who upholded her morals to the type of woman parents warned their children not to even think about.
"Goodbye Wendy." I said clearly.
Chapter 11: Hey I Heard You Like The Wild Ones?
CRAIG's POV:
This week has been crazy. My little sister's birthday oh and the fact a day later my boyfriend was nearly raped by that Human Kindness nutjob AGAIN.
But I dont regret anything Tweek has done. Being on the street taught him alot. Especially how to make my bed rock better than the actual song by Young Money and that plastic Barbie, Nicki Minaj.
Another crazy whole town goes mad event occured when the cat came out the bag. Tweek's mother had been having an affair with Randy Marsh for quite a while now.
It made me laugh now me and Tweek had fucked with the Marsh family. Fucking epic dude.
His dad took her back because I'm sure he needed her for that 1950s housewife role, because if it weren't for Mrs Tweak any idea of normality would quickly be disassociated from the Tweak family.
I would always love Tweek. He could do no wrong in my eyes. If I found out he was a serial rapist I would still love him with all my heart. If I found out he had a weird obsession like Butters' with Hello Kitty I would still love him.
I felt like the only person who recognised his fabulous yet ornate beauty.
Those gorgeous huge eyes, that small almost plastic looking nose. Them big Angelina Jolie lips. I mean shit. Yeah I was crazy for the kid but little did I know my parents had other ideas.
Chapter 12: Caught in a Bad Rommance TWEEK's POV:
The bullying has gotten a lot worse recently. People saying my mom is a "dirty ho" and lots of people who actually like Stan saying they'll kill me. Especially Kyle and Cartman, though I doubt Cartman gives a shit. Kenny doesnt seem to care either.
People saying I'm a traitor to them saying as how I took Kenny's place when he died.
I don't care though. The woman's my mother! GAH! I'll always love her. Dad forgave her so why the fuck can't everybody else?
I actually decided to talk to Mr Mackey in school today. He of course with this being such a small town already heard the fresh gossip.
"Now Tweek, You need to rise above the bullying m'kay?" He droned on. Wasn't rising above it what I was already doing? If I wasn't I'd have had a psycho moment way before now.
"BUT! AUGH! They wanna kill me man! AHH! People hate me and my mom! OBAMAS GONNA KILL ME! JESUS!" I was on my 15th cup of coffee. And talking to this lame ass was hyping me up to no end.
"I'm sure President Barrack Obama is too busy to think of commiting murder Tweek m'kay." He seemed more bored than me.
The hour passed with no conclusive results. OH MY GOD! NNGH! I'm starting to sound like the CIA! HELP ME JESUS!
Craig had gone with his parents and little sister Ruby to visit Mr Tucker's mother.
I was walking home when who should approach me but my prime corrupter, Kenny.
"Hey sexy hows it going? Want some product?" He asked as though he was talking about what he was having for dinner.
"n-no Kenny I'm clean." I replied.
"Yeah but your body isn't." He laughed.
It was no secret that me and Kenny were fuck buddies. We were right up until Craig caught me doing what i was doing.
Most of the times I only gave him half the money he demanded and more often than not I paid in kind.
"My place in 5 minutes?" He asked.
Craig was gone and if my mom could have an affair why the hell couldn't I?
"Suuuure." I purred.
So me and Kenny had sex for 3 hours non stop and I could barely walk by the time we were finished.
"ARGH! K-Kenny how am I gonna walk home?" I panicked.
"Thats your problem bitch! Now screw offf Heidi's here in 5." He said non-chalantly. Thats the one thing I hated about Kenny he loved or hated no one they were just a piece of meat to him.
I realised I'd made a massive mistake. How the hell could I have cheated on Craig?
I was a bad person. He'd be coming home in just 2 days from his grandma's and here I was being used by the local playboy.
I felt used. Worse than them nights when some creepy old pedophile was using my body like a wind up toy.
My phone went off and I saw the caller ID.
"Hey baby nice trip?" I asked.
"You make it sound like I'm on acid dude." He laughed.
"GAH! N-no I didnt mean like that! AUGH!" Damn he knows how to make me shiver.
"I'll be home in 2 days gorgeous and I can't wait to put my hands up on your body." He flirted.
"Mmn! NGH! I can't wait either." No matter how hard I tried I could never sound sexy.