Tic Tac Toe
Daniel wants to teach Teal'c the classic game. But is Teal'c way ahead of him?
Disclaimer: These are not my characters. I'm just borrowing. There is no profit
involved, unfortunately.
"Hey, 'T,' how about a quick game of Tic Tac Toe?" asked Daniel amiably.
"Are not Tic Tacs a brand of breath mints, Daniel Jackson?" inquired Teal'c, looking up from his newspaper.
"Well, yes, but that's not what the game's all about. And it's called Tic Tac Toe." Noting Teal'c's blank expression, Daniel pressed on. "It's a paper game, done with pens. Or pencils," he added.
"I believe a tic either involves the face, or is a parasitic insect. A tac is something with which I am unfamiliar, unless you mean 'attack,' in which case I am indeed familiar. And, of course, a toe is an appendage." Teal'c laid down his newspaper and folded his hands.
Daniel stared at his friend. "Uh, yes, T'ealc, of course," he replied, playing with a pen. "But I'm afraid 'Tic Tac Toe' has nothing at all, really, to do with either tics, or tacs, or toes. It's just a ..."
"Then I fail to perceive the reason it is called such," intoned Teal'c in his frustratingly logical way.
"...game," finished Daniel. "It's just a game." He cleared his throat. "Okay," he continued, "let's approach this a little, uh, differently." Teal'c tilted his head. "Let me show you," Daniel continued. "See...here...it's done on a grid."
"A term with which I am unfamiliar. Gridlock, however, is a form of traffic congestion," replied Teal'c. "It is in this publication." He pointed to an article on the front page of the Colorado Springs Gazette. "I have been reading."
"That's good...very good, 'T," that you've been reading. A person can learn a lot that way," said Daniel, irritation finding its way into his voice. He was gripping the pen now, his knuckles turning white. "But...I think we should get back to...to what we were talking about. Please."
"A grid."
"Yes, thank you. A grid." Daniel took a deep breath and shifted into high gear. "A grid is a series of lines which criss-cross -- in other words, are perpendicular to each other. It forms the basis of this game, which consists of x's and o's being placed in particular patterns in order to win."
"If the x's and o's are indicative of hugs and kisses, which I believe they are in your culture, I would respectfully ask that the mechanics of the game be altered, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel stabbed the paper. "No, they aren't...I mean yes, they are...but not in this particular context! It's just...traditional to use x's and o's!. You could use...jeez...anything! A's and z's! B's and q's! C's and...
"Perhaps one of those combinations would be preferable, then," Teal'c interrupted.
Daniel tossed the pen across the table, then dropped his head to his chest in defeat. "I think I'll go play ping pong or something," came his muffled voice.
"Are you withdrawing from competition, Daniel Jackson?"
Daniel looked up. "Oh yes, yes, you'd better believe I'm withdrawing from competition, while I still retain some semblance of sanity!"
"So...how are you guys doing?" asked Sam, approaching the table and smiling.
"I have won Tic Tac Toe by default!" declared Teal'c triumphantly, raising one brow.
"Teal'c!" exclaimed Daniel. "What are you talking about?"
"Have you not withdrawn from competition, Daniel Jackson?" Daniel nodded a vigorous "yes." "And is that not the basis for losing by default?"
Daniel flailed his arms about wildly, shouting, "No...yes...I guess! Whatever!"
Ignoring Daniel's antics, Teal'c turned to Sam. "I have followed your excellent advice, Samantha Carter," said Teal'c, giving her the "high five."
"That's a good thing, Teal'c, because, believe me, it's the only way anyone can win a game of Tic Tac Toe with Dr. Jackson," she returned, grinning. "Just like I told you..."
"If one can not prevail, then one must provoke," finished Teal'c.