I don't own Star Trek, Family Guy, The Matrix, The Fast and the Furious, CSI, or any other shows I spoof in this story. This story is told FAMILY GUY style; it's random, has flashbacks that don't make sense, etc. I just imagined everybody in Family Guy animation when writing this, but you can think of it however you want I suppose. Hope it's as funny as my sister thought it was…

Last time, on Star Trek: Voyager…

"Katheryn," Chakotay bent down and took a small box from his pocket. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Yes?" Captain Janeway said quietly, standing against the wall of her ready room.

He slowly opened the box …and whipped out a Kliongon dagger!

He threw her against the wall and brought the knife to her throat.

"Surrender your ship, now! This is a mutiny!"

Janeway's response was a kick in the nuts. While he was down (and gasping for breath), she snatched the knife and dove through the glass window, using him to kick off and squashing him to the floor in the process. She laughed manically! …Until she realized that she'd just jumped into open space. Then she started to gag.

-----

Tom Paris wore an expression of fierce determination as he raced his bright purple car down the night streets of Tokyo, his three bling-bling medallions flying in the wind. B'Elanna was gaining on him in her hot-pink Toyota, and Harry Kim's black Jaguar was in the lead. All three were dressed like rappers.

"Look! The bridge!" Harry gasped.

An enormous drawbridge loomed ahead of them. All three accelerated. B'Elanna shoved her dreadlocks out of her face as she smacked her pink car into Tom's, making a loud screeching noise. Tom hit back, sending the surprised Klingon spinning into Harry, and knocking both out of the way so he could pass them. He turned around to laugh at them, and flip them the bird. Harry and B'Elanna- still driving- glared at him for half a minute. Then they both stopped, and their eyes went wide. Confused, Tom turned back to his windshield, and saw it.

The drawbridge they were about to cross was opening.

An enormous tugboat was floating through (with a black-and-white Mickey Mouse whistling behind the helm).

The three drivers accelerated up the slanting half of the bridge, desperate to win the 60-grand. Tom's purple car flew across first. He screamed the whole way. Once he was riding down the other slanted side of the bridge, he laughed and screamed back, "SEE YA ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FINISH LINE, BEE-YAACH!!"

B'Elanna's dreads flew strait up as she followed. "WHOOOHOOOOO!"

Harry's Jaguar shot off the first half just after she'd landed on the second. He yelled "YEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!"

The drawbridge had finished rising; the other side of the bridge was sticking strait up, like a wall. Harry crashed into in and exploded.

-----

The Doctor and Seven of Nine sported white lab coats in a CSI laboratory. On the table in front of them was the bloody body of Kes (curly haired), in a black sparkling dress with red ruffles. Her tongue was hanging far out and her eyes, one wide open and the other half closed, were askew.

"…so whoever killed her, Doctor, must have been at the Club that night." Seven said, thoughtfully.

"And look at the insignia on the knife;" The Doctor added. "B.J. Giver."

Seven's eyes widened. "B.J. Giver? My g-d, that's my-" the camera zoomed in on her. "my son's teacher!"

Now the dramatic background music was at its peak.

Spiderman was tied up on a couch, in Harry Osborne's mansion. Lightning and thunder clapped outside the window. Bitterly, Osborne swiped a dagger from the table and approached the super hero.

"I wish I could give you the pain you've caused me. I just want to look into your eyes, and watch you die." He drew the dagger from the sheath. "Let's see who's behind the mask."

He grabbed Spiderman's mask with his free hand, and yanked it off…

And now the conclusion

Osborne's rage switched to shock. "Wha- what the hell?"

Quagmire tore off the Spiderman costume. He jumped on the couch and began to dance.

"Giggiddy giggidy giggidy!"

And then, with a silver flash, he turned into Q.

Q laughed. "Just kidding!"

Then he vanished into thin air.

(Voyager's theme song would now play.)