Disclaimer: The HP series belogns to JKR.

A/N: This is the second in the Muffin trilogy. Yes...This isn't all.

You probably won't understand this if you haven't read 'Damn Muffins' so go check out that first, please...But then again, maybe you would understand it...The only info you need to know if that he's in a Mental Institute. But if you wanted to know why he's in a Mental Institute and what this and that have to do with mufifns, then you'd need to read that...So it'd make the msot sense with the 1st in the series...But whatever. I'm rambling.

"I'm free! I'm free!" I yelled out to the world, spreading my arms out wide.

"Calm down Lord Molderbutt," another weird white-dressed man ordered, poking me on the side to herd me outside. A pout rose to my lip-less mouth.

"It's Lord Voldemort."

"Whatever. Just relax."

"But I'm free. Now I'll escape," I told the man matter-of-factly.

He gave a snort in reply, "Yeah. With that magic wand of yours? Now walk faster."

"My wand!" I gasped, "You have my wand don't you?! I knew one of you had it! Give it back! It's mine. I had to kill someone for it!"

The doctor dude just rolled his eyes at me. How could he not believe me?! Stupid ignorant muggles.

"We are taking you out of solitary confinement. Now, you will be interacting with these people," the doctor announced, opening a door to another white room.

But this time, it was filled with muggles. But not the ordinary ones…These looked interesting. Maybe, once I got out, I could get them to act as court jesters for me.

The people where all over the room, jumping, laughing, and talking out loud…

A smile rose to my lips as I ran over to them. "Hello everyone! I'm Lord Voldemort! You can all be my minions!" I announced, addressing the group, as the doctor left.

Heads snapped up to look up at me, each for a varying degree of seconds. And then they looked back down and went on with their activities.

I watched them with wide eyes, tears welling up in my eyes. They didn't love me. They didn't adore me! They didn't worship me.

I sniffled, feeling a tear fall down my cheek. I plopped my butt down on a bed, whimpering slightly. "I want my Death Eaters," I declared softly.

"And I want my bed. Get off," someone said, and they pushed me to the floor.

I shivered as the cold surface met me, feeling the warmth being sucked out of my butt. Slowly, I drawed my knees up to my chest. Resting my head in the little crook between my kneepads. I sniffled again, my body shaking with sadness.

I wanted my Death Eaters. My home. My conquest to rule the wizarding world. And it was all gone. Just because of a stupid muffin.

"I'll be your minion." A voice announced softly, shaking me out of my thoughts. I looked up slightly in confusion, blinking away the tears.

A blond guy smiled down at me happily.

Maybe his smile was contagious, because one rose to my lips too.

"Hi. My name is Gilderoy…Umm…I don't remember my last name…I think it started with an L…Lockheart or something like that…" the man said, holding out his hand in introduction, "Would you like my autograph?"

"Oh! I know you!" I replied, jumping up in excitement, "I read your book! You rock!" I gave a squeal of excitement.

"Oh. Good. At least one us does," Gilderoy replied. I just nodded, happy that the aweosmest person ever, except for me of course, was going to become my minion!

"So you'll really become my minion?" I asked happily. Gilderoy nodded with a smile of his own stretched across his face. The smile that won awards! I sighed happily! I was standing next to a celebrity.

"Yeah. Sure." Gilderoy shrugged.

I squealed like a little girl and glomped him.

Yay for the muffins! If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have met the minion of my life. Gilderoy. The only thing we had left to do is escape.

And I knew just how to do it…With blueberry muffins.

Muffins for the wind!

A/N: Yes. I guess I'll make this a trilogy. I have an idea onhow to end it all...

Don't you just love Voldy in this?! He's so cute with the tears and all. I was hella laughing when writign this. Gildy came in on a whim...I jsut thought he fit...Let's say that St. Mungos got sick of him and left him here. Voldy has wierd mood swings doesn't he? Gilderoy rocks! He's such an idiot. He's like my new favorite character...Yes...Even before Harry. Hehe.

And don't worry. There won't be slash. -shudders- Voldy X Gildy....Eww. I think I'll throw up. Horrible mental image right there, especially with Voldy looking the way he is. Did you guys know that there are actually fics like that? No offense to those that like it....I was bored, and I checked out the filters...I didn't read any though...SO who knows, mayeb someone could write a great VoldyXGildy fic...But that pairing is jsut not for me...

Please review. They make me happy. Very very happy. Once again, spread the love.

Oh. And do you guys have any any ideas for the title for the next fic? It'll be showing the bad things about muffins again...And I already used 'damn muffins'...What else can I use...?

XOXO

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