I'm not sure what you all will think of this. It's a one-shot based off Anna Nalick's song Breathe I heard during some reruns of Grey's Anatomy and I just had to write about it. If you listen to the song, you can see where I got some lines from. So I encourage you to listen to the song. ; D.
ENJOY!
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2 a.m.
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A cold winter's day and I was inside huddled close to the fireplace. Jason was sleeping in the freezing bed while I tried to calm down my hypothermia. I hated the person who wrecked the heater for the whole complex, I couldn't sleep with my boyfriend without getting frostbite on my toes. Jason, on the other hand, loves the chill so he's in bed as if it's the hottest day of the year. I shivered, wrapped up tightly in my blanket when the phone rang. I waited to see if Jason would wake up and answer it but it's 2 a.m. and the chances of Jason waking up are slim. I stumbled to my feet and reached for the phone.
"Mitchie here." I sighed, wondering who on earth would call at this hour.
"Thank God you answered." I heard a breath escape the mouth of Tess Tyler.
I perked up, "What's wrong?"
"Mitchie, can I come over? I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and I have no idea what to do."
I glanced back at the clock, "Sure, what's it about?"
"Winter just wasn't my season."
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So after a lengthy confession that dragged well into the morning light, I offered to take Tess to the doctor- not because she asked me but because I wanted to. No girl in her situation should be left alone. She needed a support system and I was the only one that could offer her a glimpse of hope. We walked through the door after Tess got her blood drawn out for examination. They said it might take a day or two before the real results are in. I asked Tess if she considered taking an 'at home' test but she shook her head. I patted her back and looked around at the lobby of older women and teens looking at us pass by. Some smirked. Others scoffed. My fist tightened. Judging us? What do they know, they're here for the very same reason.
Tess leaded the way to a nearby smoothie shoppe, where she ordered a large banana blend coffee latte. She sat down, still looking shaken up.
"Does Shane know?" I quietly asked.
Tess shook her head, "No, and if he finds out he'll know it's not his."
"How?" I questioned. The alarming part is that for some reason I assumed it was Shane's and I never thought there was another person in the picture. I never imagined Tess with anyone else.
Tess bit down on her lip to keep her chin from shaking, "We haven't... because I don't love him."
"So then who?" I whispered more to myself than to Tess who was having trouble with this whole situation.
"Nate," She sighed out, "God-awful, sweet, taken by Caitlyn, Nate."
At that moment I felt as sick as Tess did.
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I saw the importance of keeping everything a secret. All this had the magnitude to tears us all apart and Tess knew that. I should have been mad at Tess but I couldn't muster up the energy. Once again, she needed someone with her when everybody will be against her. The morning after we spent the whole day at her warm apartment while she gave me more information.
"We weren't drunk. I guess you can say we had something in common, that extreme solitude that's confusing when you have a partner. Nate was hanging out by the dock and Shane and I bumped into him. We were going to Harmony Point Pier for a date when Shane had to leave. He never told me why he just left me with Nate and it was all down hill from there."
"Does Nate know?"
Tess painfully smiled, "You think I want to ruin Caitlyn's life?"
I didn't answer.
"I might not be as buddy buddy with her but I sure don't want to give her a reason to hate me." Tess curled up beside me, "If I could just find the rewind button I would press it and make sure I wasn't in this position, ever again."
"Are you scared?" I asked. Jason, I think, is close to popping the question and just thinking about marriage, family and the rest of my life scares the hell out of me. I could only imagine what Tess was going through.
"Very much."
"And you love Nate, don't you?" I continued, because my suspicion was provoked the way Tess looked better when she talked about him.
"With all my being."
Then she broke down and cried. I've never seen anybody cried so hard before. I wrapped my arms around her and craddled her.
"Breathe, Tess." I said, "Just breathe."
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"You would think Shane had the drinking problem but it's Nate, really. He told me that he hasn't been sober since maybe October of last year."
"I thought you said you weren't drunk when this happened," I pointed out.
Tess nodded, "He said he was glad I showed up because if he was left alone for another second he would have gone to the nearest bar. Then funny thing is when he said that, I felt like I can save him. He told me Caitlyn has been away for too long that all he feels is loneliness. I told him Shane doesn't have to be far so I can feel that. Then, he smiled. My god it's so beautiful when the boy smiles. We understood each other and that lead to a moment that will always be just a moment for him."
"What is it to you?"
"The day I found out I'm with the wrong man."
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Back in the doctors office, Tess cried. I was there for moral support. The doctor smiled at us.
"I'm guessing this was a huge relief." He warmly said.
I nodded, "Thank you."
Tess mumbled out her thanks and she hugged me tightly. The doctor left.
"I'm so glad I'm not pregnant." She sighed, "The worst days of my life."
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That was a year ago and nothing has changed. Tess was with Shane and Nate was with Caitlyn (who I hardly ever saw). To the four of them, everything was alright but to me, the secret was eating me alive. Another cold night and I was restless. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to do something about it.
So for the first time in a long time, I wrote a song. Jason scared me. He stumbled ou of bed and rubbed his eyes.
"It's 2 a.m. and you're still awake?" Jason yawned, "What are you doing?"
"Writing a song." I said, not taking my eyes off the paper.
Jason cocked his head, "A song? How long has it been since you wrote one?"
"Years."
"'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands and breathe..." Jason read over my shoulder, "Sounds good."
"Thanks." I mumbled, "I just need to wrap it up and I'll be back in bed."
Jason kissed the top of my head and told me to hurry.
I thought back to a year ago, swearing that I would never tell a soul of Tess. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Knowing that every look Tess gives Nate is not platonic. Knowing that Tess almost had Nate's baby. Knowing that Caitlyn is hardly around to notice that her boyfriend is slipping away. Knowing that if I didn't know all this, I wouldn't be up at this hour.
"2 a.m. and I'm still awake, writing a song. If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to..." I repeated in my head.
Tess is in love with Nate.
Nate is lost in his mind.
Shane never catches on.
Caitlyn doesn't have a clue.
And I know.
I felt myself crumble because no matter if I wanted someone to be a happy, in turn, it will ruin someone else. I threw my pencil down and took my own advice.
Mitchie, just breathe.
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I think this is my starting launch pad to write more Tess fics (as a nice girl and not the girl everybody loves to hate). For some reason I always sympathize with everybody, including the bad girls. Shame. REVIEW!