Remus, so often melancholy and lonely, was first amused, then impressed, then seriously smitten by the young witch. He had never fallen in love before. If it had happened in peacetime, Remus would have simply taken himself off to a new place and a new job, so that he did not have to endure the pain of watching Tonks fall in love with a handsome, young wizard in the Auror office, which was what he expected to happen. However, this was war; they were both needed in the Order of the Phoenix, and nobody knew what the next day would bring. Remus felt justified in remaining exactly where he was, keeping his feelings to himself but secretly rejoicing every time somebody paired him with Tonks on some overnight mission.—POTTERMORE
The only thing good about this mission Remus Lupin was given was the fact that he had to be with a young, beautiful witch who just happens to be a clumsy auror. He could not understand why he felt this way but he did. He just did and it was the best feeling ever. But she would never return what he felt and he was ok with it. He was not supposed to be loved, he was a werewolf for god sake. Any girl who be with him would be subjected to the same curse as he was.
"Umm Remus?" he hears and is snapped out of his thoughts and id greeted by the same face he sses when he closes his eyes
"a-a-a Yeah?" he says admiring her now purple spiky hair
"It's better when its pink, isn't it?" she says pointing her hair trying to pull down a part so she could get a clear "Uh! Why can't here be a mirror?" He just smiles at her last comment, not able to get himself to stop admiring her beauty
"Tonks? You realize we are sitting outside the house of a death eater?" he asks smiling
"Uh! Yeah" she says hitting her forehead "I forget sometimes, about my surroundings, I'm not so attentive you see"
"and you are an auror" he says looking forward still smiling "they are so lucky to have you"
"yeah they are" she blushes "but you know I come in handy with all my ability to change my appearance" she tries to defend herself and as she says it she sounds so desperate, Remus feels maybe just maybe she feels something for him and considers it necessary to justify herself but h knows better than that. 'Stop imagining' he tells himself and tries to change the topic.
"You look great as always" he says causing her to blush furiously but he doesn't notice like everything else.
"Umm thanks, you-you look good too" she says looking down towards the ground suddenly admiring the beauty of a small stone
He just laughs at the compliment and waves his hand "sure I do" he says sarcastically
"You don't believe me?" she asks looking at him
"Of-course I believe you" he says still looking forward towards the house trying to see any unusual happenings, they are talking but they need to do what they came for "But you know you don't have to say all this to make me feel good, I know better"
"Hey, you are handsome" she says a little angry but then blushes "More than a lot of guys I know". This comment causes him to look at her. Their eyes meet and they just stay their for sometime before he looks away. She just sighs dejectedly.
"What?" he asks
"Oh! Nothing" she says but her expressions and the tone of her voice say otherwise, he as usual doesn't notices. They sit there for a while observing the Death Eater's house for unusual activities, which never happens. Why were they even here? She asks herself. But then looking at Remus realises she doesn't mind as long as she has a certain Sandy brown haired, amber eyed werewolf by her side. Not able to control herself she attempts to start a conversation.
"Umm the order" she says and then mentally curses herself. Could she not have thought something else? Something more umm romantic?
"What about the order?" he asks her
"I mean how do you feel about it?" she asks the first thing that comes to her
"Umm I feel good about it?" he says and she just gives an odd. Oh! The effect he had on her.
"I meant the members" she says. That's a way to make him open up about her
"They are nice" he says itching the back of his head
"I mean any specific liking for someone…. U know" she says desperate he says what she wants to hear.
"Umm I like Sirius, he is my best mate and though he is not an order member Harry and Molly oh! How can I forget her after all what she has done for Harry and the way she takes care of every order member" he says thinking and she feels her heart sink. Uh! She knew he loved her. Then why? Oh why? Was he doing this? Why isn't he confessing his undying love for her?
"Hmm Sirius is great isn't he?" she makes an attempt to talk about his best friend. Maybe just maybe talking about his friend could you help him open up? It sounds stupid but she would not leave any chance "He's still handsome, isn't he, even after Azkaban?" but instantly regrets it after seeing the look on his face.
Before he could stop himself, Remus replied bitterly "I suppose you've fallen for my old friend then?" He felt miserable even thinking it made him sad, every girl even at Hogwarts he ever liked, liked Sirius. Oh how much he hated it. But it was different. He really loved Nymphadora and now she too has fallen for the charms of Sirius Orion Black. And hell they are related "He always got the women".
At this, Tonks became suddenly angry. "You'd know perfectly well who I've fallen for, if you weren't too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice." She says and feels a big load roll off her. She said it. Finally taking all that she feels out of her. She confessed her feelings and it doesn't even feel wrong.
Just as she says the words Remus cannot believe himself. A feeling he had not felt for so long embraces him and he feels like the happiest person on this planet. He looks at her and their eyes meet but none of them turns away instead they hold there and then. She loves him. She does love him. Oh! It feels like a dream.
He cups he face in his hands holding her gaze fearing she'd look away. He moves forward to kiss her. Do what he wanted to do for so long and just as their lips meet he remembers the outcome of this, he can't do this. He can't subject her to this life full of misery. She is so young and smart and precious to face the outcomes of this. He won't do it.
With all the force he could master, going against all his nerves. Going against his heart who protests the most he pulls away. He sees her face, her eyes closed, and her lips in a small pout awaiting to meet his and again his heart tries to gain dominance but he doesn't give in. No she would not face the consequences of his defeat to the stubbornness of his heart. No just no.
"I think this is it" he says quickly getting up "I don't think any more can happen today. It's too late… go home and get some sleep" He says it quickly
She opens her eyes looking like someone just stabbed her directly in the heart. One small tear trickles down her left eye which she doesn't even tries to stop. Her eyes shine in the moon light and his heart pains at the sight so he does what he does the best. Looks away.
"Remus" she says it not louder than a whisper but he hears. Clearly
"Umm yeah… No we should not stay here long come I'll a-a-a drop you to your place" he says holding her hand ignoring his heart asking for more and with one last look at the quite house he vanishes in thin air with her.
He quickly drops her off at her front gate and with the speed giving competition to that of light vanished into thin air ignoring her calling his name.
She just sits at the entrance of her house, not caring to get inside. He loves her too. She saw it. Saw it in his eyes, how they started to shine the moment she revealed her feelings but he went away. Left her, Vanished. Leaving her behind to grieve. But she would not stop. She would confront him the moment she next meets him but for now, she just cries. Cries at the fact of how close they were to do what she wanted for so long. Cries that the man she loves left her crying just because he is afraid his feelings.
Oh! She hated Remus Lupin yet she Loved him so much.