Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does.
An Ending Grace
"You see, Peter, it's all in the technique," said Sirius Black as he successfully balanced a spoon on his nose. Peter, who had been attempting the same the for the past fifteen minutes, threw his spoon across the table in frustration. Unfortunately, the spoon hit Remus on the head. Even though it was mid-April, Remus was already studying for exams. He looked up from the book he had been scowling at to glare at the two boys.
"You know, some of us are trying to study. Exams start in just a few months, in case you hadn't noticed." Sirius just laughed and flicked porrdige at James with a spoon. James, who was oblivious to the whole conversation, was staring at the end of the table with glazed eyes.
"Lily-watching again, James? Shame on you!" Sirius turned back to Peter, who was trying to get his spoon back from Remus. "How long do you think it will be before he realizes he's gotten porridge all over his robes?"
"You threw the porridge at him, Sirius. He didn't get it on his robes," Remus said, annoyed. Sirius shook his head and pointed. James was holding his is spoon about an inch away from his mouth, and there was porridge dripping from it all over his clothes.
"I didn't get it on his clothes," Sirius said with a triumphant expression. "I got it in his hair."
Peter stifled a laugh, and Remus snorted, bringing James out of his haze. He shook his head to wake himself, sending the porridge flying. He stared at a drop that had landed on the table before slowly raising a hand to his hair. "Sirius," James said through gritted teeth. "Have I got porridge in my hair?"
"Well I don't know, mate," Sirius said easily. "It looks rather like the mush your brain turns into whenever you see Evans." James rolled his eyes and threw a roll at Sirius. This instigated a small food fight between the two boys, which ended only after they'd successfully covered each other in their breakfasts and Professor McGonagall had kicked them out of the Great Hall, ordering them to come back only after they had cleaned up and calmed down.
"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in," an unctuous voice said as they stepped into the corridor. Sirius watched as the grin slid off James' face at the sight of Severus Snape. He was alone, but he had caught them unawares, and his wand was already out. "It seems as thought the tables have turned." Sirius saw Snape's eyes glitter dangerously when he reached for his wand. Snape sneered at him, "Do it Black, and I'll hex Potter."
Sirius dropped his hand. "What a loyal lackey you have, Potter," Snape scoffed. "I wonder if he will ever see what I do--nothing but an insolent jock who thinks he owns the school, and go crawling back to his family where he belongs...perhaps it's to late for him though... At least that mudblood you fancy isn't blind. Pity, seems she's the only Gryffindor who knows what you truly are...and she doesn't even really count."
"Don't talk about her like that," James gritted out.There was a fire in his eyes, and Sirius knew Snape was lurking in dangerous waters. Snape knew it too. His expression hadn't changed, but his grip on his wand had tightened, and his knucles were white.
"How sweet! You're defending the little mudblood whore even though she hates your guts!" Sirius didn't even see it happen. One second, James was by his side, the next second he and Snape were rolling on the floor, Snape's wand lying forgotten across the hall.
"James! James, he's not worth it! James!" Sirius attempted to pull his friend off of Snape. "Oh what the hell, it is worth it," and he made to join in on the fun, but a hand shot out and held him back.
"Don't even think about it, Black." Lily's voice had surprised all three boys. James watched her guiltily, and Sirius stared at her as her face flushed with anger. Snape, however, was only distracted for a moment. He wiped his bloddy nose on his sleeve, and used Lily's presence to his advantage.
There was a loud crack as his fist collided with James' jaw. Again, Sirius made to go after Snape, but this time found his feet glued to the floor. "What the f--?" A cough interrupted him, and he looked up to see Lily pointing her wand at his shoes, glaring.
"Detention, Snape. Now get a tissue and go to the nurse. Potter and Black are enough to deal with already without your snivelling." With a final glare at Sirius, Snape stalked down the hall.
As soon as he was out of sight, Lily rounded on her fellow Gryffindors. "Black! What were you thinking?" She said angrily. "I have half a mind to give a detention now, but as you weren't actually fighting, I'll have to let Professor McGonagall decide your fate.
"As for you," she said, rounding on James, who lay staring at her wide-eyed on the floor. "I have to say you've sunk to a new low--resorting to physical violence? As if your duels weren't bad enough, now I have to deal with bruises and broken bones.
"I don't understand why you don't just stay away from Snape if he bothers you so much. All fighting does is contribute to inter-house hostility. It's people like you that give the Gryffindor House a bad name!"
"Lily," James cried, scrambling to his feet and wincing as he spoke. "I'm sorry! I'll never fight with Snape again, if that's what you want Let me make it up to you--I'll buy you lunch on our next Hogsmeade trip." Sirius shuddered. Asking Lily out was the last thing James wanted to do right now.
Lily let out an enraged shriek. "You arrogant, womanizing, chauvinistic pig! You're a terrible show-off, and I will never fancy you! You need to learn that not fighting with Snape because I want you to stop only makes you look pathetic. If you ever want to get anywhere with a decent girl, you'll have to learn to be your own person and unerstand that you're supposed to do things because you know it's right, not because someone told you it was.
"Potter, you have a detention. McGonagall will owl you wit the time and place. I'd suggest you go to the infirmary, but as that will undoubtedly resul inanother brawl, go to the kitchen and hold a slab of cold steak to your jaw; that will keep the swelling down until you can go to the hospital wing when Snape's not there." With a wave of her wand that released Sirius from her constraints, she walked away, leaving the two boys alone.
They stood in silence for about a minute, then the door to the Great Hall opened, and Remus and Peter appeared. "What happened to you?" Peter asked rather tactlessly. "It looks like you've been run over by a troll!"
James made a noise of disgust and stormed away. most likely to the kitchens. "Was it something I said?" Peter asked Remus, who shrugged and looked expectantly at Sirius.
Sirius sighed, "I'll have to tell you what happened later. I need to make sure James doesn't strangle a House-Elf or something."
The first thing Sirius saw when he entered the kitchens was James sitting at a table, sulking. He was holding a slab of meat to his face, and every once in a while he would wiggle his jaw and wince. Sirius sighed. "You know, sometimes I just don't understand you."
James looked up in surprise when Sirius spoke. "Go away, Padfoot. I don't want to talk about it." Sirius rolled his eyes and sat across from his friend.
"See, it's like this: you've been chasing after this girl since Fourth Year, and she still hates you guts. What I don't get is why you don't give up and chase a bird that actually wants to be caught. I know this is a little harsh James, but you've got to let go."
"You think I don't realise it'd be easier to go after some other girl? I think about it every time she turns me down. But I know that I'd be wasting my time with anyone else. All I'd be able to think about would be Evans, and any relationship would end in disaster. Evans...she's worth it. The fact that she always dismisses me, all it proves is that she thinks for herself. Any other girl would've given in by now. It's not a silly little crush anymore, Padfoot. And everything she said today...it was right."
"Prongs, you can't really believe her? What she said today was below the belt. Snape provoked you, and you're not the one who attacked his opponent when he was disracted!"
"But I still fought with him, even when I know he was trying to get a rise out of me. I should have just walked away," James protested.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "If you had done that, Snivellus would have cursed you. What you did today waws self-defense." James shook his head and sighed.
"Except that I threw the first punch. I feel like I don't know what's wrong or right anymore. I'm going to the Hospital Wing. I'll talk to you later, Padfoot." Sirius watched him leave, already racking his mind for ways to get back at Snape. A bloody nose as nowhere near as painful as a bruised jaw and a broken heart.
The next few weeks were horrible for Sirius. After coming back fromt he Infirmary James had asked Sirius not to tell Peter and Remus what had happened after his fight with Snape. He didn't even want them to know who had ended the fight.
Sirius did as James wished, but it was hard, keeping secrets from his friends. They knew they weren't being told something. At first James had pretended nothing was wrong, but he wasn't very good, and once it became clear to him he wasn't fooling anybody, he gave up the facade and started moping.
It seemed to Sirius that all James did was study or stare off into space. Even the professors had realised something was off. It angered Sirius because he couldn't come up with any plans for revenge; it was as if his endless stream of pranks had been turned off the moment his pseudo-brother sank into his depression.
Remus clained that James wasn't depressed. "You know James," he said one morning. "If he was depressed, we all would know it. He'd be moaning and groaning, trying to get our sympathy. No; no I think he's thinking. Something happened during that fight that made him re-evaluate who he is. It's like a mid-life crisis thirty years pre-mature. He'll snap out of it soon enough."
But Sirius wasn't so sure. So he had Peter follow James around as Wormtail. Unfortunately, all Peter ever found was that James spent a lot of time in the library or in a daze.
On top of it all, the full moon was growing near. Sirius worried that James wouldn't come. Plus, Snape had become supspicious of where the Marauders went every month. He had recently taken to threatening the boys; saying he would follow them.
That was when Sirius finally got an idea for revenge. It was simple: Sirius would tell Snape that each month he and his friend snuck into Hogsmeade. When Snape asked how they got there, he would say there was a secret passageway beneath the Whomping Willow, and then explain how to get past the monstrous tree. Sirius highly doubted Snape would manage to freeze the Willow. He would give up soon after getting hit brutally several times by the tree's violent branches.
All Sirius had to do now was find a way of telling this to Snape without him getting suspicious. The day of the fully moon, Sirius purposely allowed Snape to intercept a note to James. Sirius watched as the Slytherin's eyes glittered before discreetely sending the slip of paper back on course. Snape was so beside himself with glee, that he didn't notice James' bewildered reaction to the note.
Sirius didn't see James until that evening, and the sun was beginning to set. "Padfoot," Sirius jumped in shock. James hadn't called him by his nickname in weeks. "What was that note all about? Did you honestly think I would forget how to get past the Willow?"
Sirius grinned, "No, but I had to tell Snape without him getting too suspiscious." He wasn't expecting James to react the way he did.
"You told Snape how to get past the Willow?" James stared at him in disbelief. Sirius just shrugged.
"Well, yeah. I had to get revenge on Snivellus for what he did to you that day. It's not like he'll actually get past it. He'll just get a little bruised."
"Sirius, you idiot, what were you thinking?" And with that James tore out the dorm to the grounds. A wave of realisation washed over Sirius. What had he done? Snape had been determined to get him into trouble from the start. He would stop at nothing to find a way past the Willow. And if he saw Moony, or if Moony saw him...
Sirius rushed after his friend, ignoring Lily's angry glare when he bumped into her. He caught up with James on the grounds, just in time to see Snape duck into the secret passageway. "Go get Dumbledore," James said, surprising Sirius. He hadn't thought James had noticed him. "I'll try to head off Snape."
They split up; Sirius returned to the castle, oblivious to the irritated students he pushed past. All he heard was his heart pounding in his chest and the rhythmic echo of his feet on the cold stone floor.
Sirius hadn't thought about what he would say to the gargoyle that guarded the headmaster's office. Luckily, he crossed paths with Professor Dumbledore three quarters of the way there. He was humming softly to himself, walking with a slight bounce, and occasionally popping a lemon drop into his mouth.
"Professor," Sirius called, skidding to a stop. "Professor Dumbledore!" The old man started slightly at the sound of his name. He looked around for a moment, only to see Sirius standing alone in the hall, chest heaving.
"Mr. Black!" He said with a jovial smile. "How nice to see you! Sherbert Lemon?" He thrust a candy wrapped in yellow toward Sirius. Sirius shook his head, leaning on his knees for support. He double-checked that the hallway was empty before speaking.
"Full moon," he gasped. "Snape...Whomping Willow...James...after him." When he looked up, Dumbledore was already halfway down the hall, and his bag of lemon drops lay forgotten on the floor. Sirius groaned. "Will I ever get to rest?" When Sirius arrived at the Whomping Willow, Snape lay stupefied on the ground with James standing over him, glaring at Sirius.
Sirius didn't think he'd ever been in as much trouble as he was now. The twinkle in Dumbledore's eye was gone, and Sirius felt guilty for being the one to make it disappear. Sirius ended up on probation. One more misstep, and he'd be expelled. He also lost numerous house points and earned several weeks of detention.
Sirius could deal with that. It was the loneliness that was unbearable. Remus would barely look at him, and James would only talk to him when absolutely had to. Even then, his voice was devoid of feeling. It made Sirius' skin crawl. And Peter...well Peter avoided him like the plague.
Not to say the rest of the school hadn't noticed. There were rumors flying about, trying to explain what had happened. Sirius didn't care to find out what they were. Without his friends to hang out with him, Sirius found himself spending a lot of time in the library.
One day, about a week before the term was over, Sirius was shocked to see James enter the library. He wasn't surprised when James sat at the table farthest from himself.
He had been trying to ignore James' presence for nearly half an hour, when Lily came in and sat across from James. She glanced at Sirius and gave him a discreet wink before turning to James. "I heard about Sirius," she said very solemnly, causing James to look up in wonder. "I'm very sorry to hear that Sirius cheated on you with Remus, and then dumped you both in favor of Snape."
"What!" James exclaimed rather loudly, earning a glare from the librarian. "Is that what everyone is saying?"
"No," Lily said with a chuckle. "But there are some pretty interesting rumors about what happened.
James looked down at his book, "I don't want to talk about it." Lily reached across the table and grabbed his hand.
"If this has anything to do with what I said...well, you shouldn't be angry with him...I was out of line saying that to you. I apologize." James stared at their hands for a moment, then at Lily's face.
"Why would our fight have anything to do with what you said?" he asked, confused. "You were there, he didn't do anything that would have made me angry." Lily sighed, and to Sirius, she looked very relieved.
"I just thought...maybe something had happened after I left...that he might have said something. You...you are different. You aren't the same person you were before I yelled at you that day." Lily colored slightly, and Sirius had to stifle a laugh.
"I am different, or at least, I hope so. After you left, I did some pretty serious thinking, and I realised you were right about everything. So I decided to change. ut then something happpened. I'm not quite sure what, and all of a sudden I had changed for me, because it made me feel like a better person. I don't care what other people think anymore, and I feel so relieved that I don't have to put up a facade for the school any longer.
"And...and I've decided," James seemed to struggle with his words. "I've decided I've been rather unfair to you." At Lily's confused expression James took a deep breath and went on. "You know, for constantly putting you on the spot, always asking you out... That's...that's why I'm not going to ask you out anymore. And I hope, that in time you can forgive my immaturity, and we can be friends."
"I would love to be friends with you," Lily said goodnaturedly. "But I really hope you haven't changed completely, because when I looked past your ego, bullying, and constant harassment, I always thought you were a pretty good person. Especially when it came to your friends. You relationship with Remus and Peter...and Sirius, they aren't the kind of thing you would throw away for a mistake--I'm sure you've made plenty of those.
Sometimes it's better to just forgive and forget, James. And even if what Sirius did wasn't something you can easily forgive, well, give it time. Hang out with him, let him apologize, everything will be back to normal sooner than you realise."
They chatted aimlessly for awhile, and Sirius had been doing a pretty good job of not eavesdropping, when James started packing his books up. "Thanks for the advice, Lily. I'll talk to you later." She was about to respond when he called out, "Padfoot!" The librarian shot James a glare. Sirius watched as James, grinning, made antlers with his index fingers, pawed at the ground, and snorted. Sirius smiled manicly, letting out a bark, and then panted while his tongue hung out of his mouth. James chuckled at Lily's bewildered expression as he left.
Laughing, Sirius ambushed the confused girl, enveloping her in a big hug. Somehow, because of this girl, Sirius knew everything would be alright.
A/N: I have a sequel to this in the works, I'm trying to get it up before the 16th.